Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A win is a win, and dammit, a warble should be a warble

No thinking Yankee fan can relax until we're at least 10 games over .500. Nothing feels right. Coffee tastes bitter. Your pants feel tight. The newspaper feels soggy. Sex just goes on for hours and hours and hours, until your partner's ecstatic screams hurt your ears. No, you're just not yourself.

Maybe that explains John's gaffe last night. After an entire winter and spring of resting the precious party-pipes, The Master whiffed on his signature WinWarble. (Scroll down, and you'll hear it; but send the children away first.) A result of our 0-3 start? Maybe. But frankly, it's all the more reason to expect a solid Warble.

I think it's something else.

I think John's been doggin' it.

Traditionally, John doesn't serve WinWarbles in Grapefruit League competition. Maybe he feels it's taunting an opponent over a meaningless victory. The game doesn't count - thus, no Warb.

Well, today we're 1-3, and we still have no WinWarb, and it's obvious that The Master is not in shape. Like Michael Pineda showing up in Tampa 10 pounds overweight, if John Sterling can't bring at least a 6.00-second Warble, maybe he should stay in Florida and work with the Class A team. Maybe Nardi Contreras can straighten him out. Dammit, this was a victory over Baltimore, over Buck Showalter, the first win of 2012, and every Yankee fan had to be expecting a 6.60, without a hiccup, but what do we get... Nada. We get nothing?

Well, we can't turn back the clock last night. But I propose the following: In the future, John should modify the Warble during spring games:

Meaningless game over! Yankees win! THUUUUUUUUUUH exhibition  Yankees win!

Veterans think they can turn on the juice, as soon as the games count. Well, The Master wasn't there last night, and it's because he wasn't prepared. Think about that: John Sterling wasn't ready for a Yankee win. Seriously, folks, you cannot predict baseball.

1 comment:

Stang said...

It sounded like--for a crucial split-second--he blanked on which team won.

This could be a long year.

However, as noted below, the reviews are in and the Yankee radio broadcast team is getting raves!