666? A-Rod is now within two home runs of SATAN.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Posted by el duque at 8:56 AM
Reports from Steinbrother South say Derek Jeter's broken drumstick has been taken off its liquid diet and is now eating solid food. The protective boot - worn by the Captain since that Hell Night, when the lights in Nick Swisher's head lost a fly ball, and we squandered a four-run miracle comeback in front of the world - which included a lot of empty seats.
Folks, it's only been three months, even if it seems like an entire Jersey Gints season. (Wait a minute, it was an entire Gints season.) In that time, three teams replaced the Yankees as the new Yankees of baseball - two in LA, the other in Canada. (God, Canada!) In that time, the Steiner collectables spent their hard-inherited money on players they could not ignore without facing pitchforks and heated tar: Andy, Mariano and Hiroki- and then they shelled out for a dose of Kevin Youkilis, after Arod dropped his biggest A-bomb in two years.
All that time, Jeet's ankle was left in the dark, shrouded from reality, shielded from the truth.
Now, it has become conscious and seen the world anew.
Nobody knows what to expect from Jeter's foot. It can't pivot forever. (At least, I don't think it can.) We have no ankle in the system ready to replace it. If it cracks this year, or if it cannot swivel enough in the batter's box, God knows what will happen to the team. And if Jeet squeezes one more season out of that ankle, well, there goes the Steinbrothers' $189 million payroll plan in 2014. (He has an option for 2014; if he exercizes it, and the Steins refuse to budge, there goes Robbie Cano. In fact, the whole budget thing seems to hinge on how bad the Yankees are this year, but that's another story.)
Well, little foot, you are free again. Breathe the air. See the sunlight. Welcome back to our world. And to you, we offer this blessing: May you never lose your sense of wonder. May you get your shoes to walk, but always keep that hunger. May you never take one single step for granted. And God forbid, insoles never leave you empty handed.
Foot, may you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one shoe store closes I hope one more opens. Promise that you'll give support socks a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance.