Sunday, January 6, 2013

This week, the smartest team in baseball signed Scott Proctor

I know what you're thinking: Scott Proctor? Noooo! He's dead. We all saw Joe Torre shoot him! Between the eyes. We saw it!

Me no think. Me just report. Scott Proctor has been signed by the San Francisco Giants.

I still remember him dealing with a tough outing by piling all his belongings at home plate, dousing them with lighter fluid and striking a match. That's juju, folks. It didn't necessarily work, but you had to love the guy for trying. I hope Proctor squeezes another year out of that arm.

But seriously, didn't Joe Torre kill him?


Fred "Chicken" Stanley said...

Actually, we are going to sign Joe Torre as the head of the farm system next week. Getting the family back together here in Northern California. You got Mickey Rivers' phone number?

Tom said...

Torre didn't kill him, just ripped his arm off at the shoulder. I thought Girardi finished the job, leaving him in to ensure the loss to Tampa Bay on the last day of the 2011 regular season -- a happy outcome, crushing Boston, but apparently also stirring some negative juju for the Yankees that showed up in 2012.

el duque said...

Maybe Scott Proctor is Jason. Maybe he can never die.