Monday, January 21, 2013

The tide has pulled out, and the birds have fled. What should we make of this strange, unprecedented dead zone for Yankee news?

Nothing is happening in the Yankiverse. Nothing at all. We are courting no free agent. We are awaiting no prospect. There is no steroids trial, no Cashman stalker, no Arod starlets, no rumors, no nothing. The last hot Yankee news brought the signing of Russ Canzler. Russ Canzler. America's most famous pro sports franchise - which finished 2012 with gaping sections of empty seats - is frozen in movement, asleep - if not dead - behind a long, black curtain of nothingness.

This is strange, the silence being otherworldly. Six years ago, we launched this blog with the understanding that the Yankiverse never closes, that we are not the Kansas City Royals. We are the string that, once plucked, vibrates for months. The Yankees constantly create controversy and rule every back page, a machine that generates round-the-clock interest. Follow the Yankees, and you're never bored.

Well, have you tried a Yankee conversation lately? "Hey, ya think Canzler can beat out Diaz for DH?" "Gee, I don't know, that should be exciting..."

OK, I know what you're thinking: Let's be thankful that Cashman hasn't pulled a stinker trade. Then we'd have something to discuss. Still, I cannot recall such an extended period of nothingness. Even in the late 1980s, when the team was certifiably terrible, we could blather about the arrival of Danny Tartabull or Steve Kemp. This year, the lone newcomer of note is Kevin Youkilis, whose presence leaves us numb with dread.

Russ Canzler. Think he can beat out Diaz for DH?

You know what? I'm not sure I care.

I'll be more interested in watching Melky in Toronto, or Swish in Cleveland. The tide has receded, and all I see are old rocks and car parts. There is nothing to say about the Yankees.

I never thought I'd say that. 


John M said...

You know how most teams looked forward to when the Yankees came to town? Because that's when they sold the most tickets?

I'm looking forward to when the Jays come to town. I always liked Melky. They should be pretty good.

Hope I can get a good seat for one of those. The rest of the, who cares.

Caspar Q. Milquetoast, Esq. said...

Wow! Is this IT? I read that someone had started a blog devoted exclusively to RUSS "MR. EXCITEMENT" CANZLER!! This is the place, right? Yeah, well, RUSS CANZLER is, er, noteworthy. Sort of.

Bye Bye Balboni said...

There's got to be a way to make pursuing a $189 million payroll as exciting as pursuing a 28th World Championship would be, if the Yankees were actually pursuing it.

And I trust this very blog and the fine upstanding folks running it to figure it out.

Because I can't.

Tom said...

hey, who knows? Russ Canzler, the new Melky! Now, that would be exciting.

Alphonso said...

The only reason to follow this 2013 Yankee team, is to place bets on which old guy collapses first, and when.

One can also hope to TiVo an album of "most embarrassing Yankee moments" and most egregious failures.

I am yawning already. And I feel even more lethargic about the NFL Giants. Who cares what moves they make or who they draft? They will still start 6-2 or 5-3; then negative out in the second half; then we will wait to see if they can back-in for a wild card.