Friday, January 25, 2013

Oscar matchups: Yankees vs. Redsocks vs. Phillies

As good sports, let's accept that Boston won the recent Golden Calf awards. The Youk-bearded Ben Affleck (Redsock fan) was named Best in Show and Mr. Congeniality for "Argo."

That makes Affleck the Miguel Cabrera of the 2013 Oscars, a potential Triple Crown winner, thanks to the Academy of Motion Pictures' Redsock-leaning foot fetish. (Those who cannot remember "Fever Pitch" are doomed to relive it.)

But dammit, this Oscar season, the Bargain Basement Bombers will not go down easily, like Grandy with a runner on base. We have two Oscar hopefuls: Denzel Washington (Yankee fan) and Robert De Niro (Yankee fan), both chasing acting awards. We need big nights from both, considering that Alec Baldwin, Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler went Nick Swisher in the 2013 balloting. 

Also, we need to watch for Philadelphia.

The Phillies could win with Silver Linings Playbook, which is technically an Eagles movie - but that's too close for comfort. Bradley Cooper grew up outside Philly. I'm assuming he was a Richie Ashburn fan..

The only other team worth watching is the Diamondbacks. They have no known fans - celebrity or otherwise. But they are represented this year by Joaquin Phoenix. I don't know who he roots for... but hey, Phoenix is Phoenix.

Thank God Matt Damon and that Krasinski punk from "The Office" (Redsock fans) pulled goose eggs. And what the hell ever happened to Tea Leoni (Yankee fan)? I thought her career had legs.


Anonymous said...

Pavano ruptured his spleen shoveling snow in his driveway. Eight weeks recovery time.

Somewhere Brian Cashman pees his pants a little bit from laughter.

SanJoseKid said...

The Bronx Buttocks cannot afford some gym equipment in his house? He has to shovel snow to stay in shape? While he is STILL A FREE AGENT (and not on Cashman's payroll), he shovels the snow himself? At his age? The man is truly a buttocks. And, I understand, he's the guy that bought Joba Chamberlain's trampoline. Carl, care to shag some flies in KC, in the snow?