The last thing I'd ever do would be to label a MLB team of Olympians - (and I grimace, just typing the words) - a "tomato can."
Nope. If you think I'd ever stoop to catcalling, or caterwauling, or poo-pooing the opposition - even if they sometimes do appear in cylindrical skins of rusted tin - well - you've hit the wrong blog. Around here, we respect rival teams, knowing that the '24 Yankees can lose to anyone. Anyone.
That said, August looks like a month of beefsteaks, of heirlooms, of Romas and plums - 30 days of fire-roasted pasta sauce - as the Death Barge plays teams that have been - well - let's say "challenged" this season.
Beginning tonight, we play:
The Blue Jays (50-59)
The Angels (47-62)
The Rangers (52-57)
The White Sox (27-84)
The Tigers (52-58)
The Guardians (66-42)
The Nationals (49-60)
The Rockies (40-70)
The Cardinals (56-53)
Overall, the Yankees face an August against teams who are, thus far, a combined 104 games below .500.
Not only that, but many of these sad collections just traded their best players for puppies who might not reach the majors until September, if at all in '24. And one, in particular, just lost Mike Trout for the rest of the season. Can you guess who?
This month, the Yankees play 26 games - only five against winning teams. (This assumes St. Louis will still be above .500 by the end of August.) Let's face it: You make hay when the sun shines. If the Yankees win, say, 18, that would be a .692 winning percentage, and it could vault them ahead of Baltimore in the AL East. (By the way, the O's will play series against Cleveland, Boston, Tampa, the Mets, Houston and the Dodgers - 21 games against above .500 teams - a far, far, fucking far tougher schedule.)
Folks, this should be our month. It needs to be our month. If we're not in first by Sept. 1, something will have gone perilously wrong.
Any bets?
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29 comments:
Let's see, September 1st ...oh, that's when Hitler invaded Poland.
Things can go wrong at that point, I guess. But we should win a lot of games by then.
I’d say we’ll play roughly .500 in August, playing down to the level of our opponents. So, we’ll have 78 wins on Sept 1, on our way to the playoffs.
That’s when the real fucking begins.
(Richard)Pryor to this recent win streak, I personally have felt like 104 games below .500.
Our play was maddeningly atrocious, Stang was clearly no longer going to run for president and I couldn’t even get a damn Carvel Ice Cream Cake delivered to E.D. for his birthday!
And yes, I bet that we make it to September with more games won in August than lost.
It all starts with StrO (the) Man on the bump tonight against the Spew-Jays.
May we score more runs than them.
Lettuce slice, dice, and crush them.
I REPEAT - LETTUCE SLICE, DICE, AND CRUSH THEM!!!
And not be Stromanized, today or any other.
Amen.
And whatever we do - let’s avoid the temptation to call this team the JuJu Jays because that might come around and bite all of us in our tree-ripened asses…
Fencing Master: Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.
Okay, who the fuck are we kidding?
This Yankee team got swept at home by the Cincinnati Reds-Kids. Swept by the Mutts too for the season series.
Last start, against the Red Sux, a little league lineup would've taken Stroman to the woodshed. He was flinging pitches right over the middle of the plate. And, unlike Justin Verfluffel, those pitches got socked all over for line drives.
Nobody saw these Bronx Bums sweeping the Phils. The Bronx Bums are back in first place (tied). Now I fear they're going to play .300 baseball this month. This could be the month where this 2024 Yankee Titanic plunges downward into the deep blue freezing ocean to its watery grave.
Hammer, I like the juju.
Don't know what's going to happen, but at the end of the day...I have two balls and a dick...
Sounds like the auto biography of Dick Allen.
Three or more balls and you’ve got a problem
JM,
One of the two times I've been in Poland, I landed on September 1st. I got the distinct impression that they did not like being invaded.
Surprisingly good sushi there. And of course, you know, Polish food.
Bottom of the second - Torres watches a double become a single.
Gleyber!!!!’
Torres the speedster is thrown out at the plate.
Gleyber!!!’
Stroman and Gleyber are at the top of their game!
Stroman awful. His pitches are either a foot outside or right down the middle.
As they used to say, “he’s got nothin’”
7-2
So much for the tomato Blue Jays
Nice play by Verdugo and Wells to end the inning!
Time for the Olympics
Just finished dinner and checked on the game.
Good night all.
Gleyber has been pulled out of the game
On the subject of tomatoes, note that tonight’s starter was Marcus St-ROMA-n. And he went splat…
Now little Tony batting ninth and Verdugo leading off?
What idiot is making out these lineup cards?
Tough Love against Gleyber - AND PLEASE MICHAEL KAY - he would have made it to second if he ran outta the box
Jizz has some really questionable at bats, no?
Yep - trying to over deliver
Is there a -YAWN- rally in their Bones?
Thaaah Yunkeez lose
Thaaah Yunkeez lose!
I can juggle now for an hour or two
Stromanized!
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