In a month of tomato cans, the Yankees turn into Chef Boyardee

Damn. August was gonna be our Cupcake Christmas. We had the Blue Jays, Angels, Rangers, White Sox - now the Tigers - our skip along the merry tomato can path, when we would happily pull away in the AL East.

Record in August: 8-6.

Amazingly, we have bypassed Baltimore, held off Boston and now possess the best record in the AL. Really, how dare we complain?  

Record in the last 10 games: 5-5.

The great American educator, Dean Wormer, once told us, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Wise words. That said, here we are, floundering in a .500 mediocrity, battling to hold our own against teams that are positioning themselves for a run in 2025, at the earliest. 

Next up, Cleveland, Colorado, Washington and St. Louis. I could list the rest - honestly, it's rather lame - but all will surely boil down to a three-game series in NY beginning Sept 24 against the O's.

Barring a complete meltdown - always a possibility, when two hitters basically comprise your offense - the Death Barge will reach the 2024 postseason. If Aaron Judge and Juan Soto stay healthy, we'll have a puncher's chance, no matter who is pitching and who we they play. 

The path to a world series is actually rather simple. Wrap Judge and Soto in plastic bubbles, keep running Gerrit Cole out there, find somebody who can close, and keep gaslighting the world about hitters "swinging  the bat good" and coming out of slumps.

Yesterday, well, we sank without a bubble. Shutouts happen. Today, in one of those showcase pinball games, we'll attend the Little League World Series, though the game will - hopefully - be rained out. (I worry about these boutique games, where fields might not be up to MLB standards. They can be be ripe for injuries.) 

We have faced the tomato cans, with mixed results. It's probably too soon to worry about Houston, 9-1 in recent weeks. But here we are - fat, drunk and stupid, and sitting atop the AL East. A winning streak sure would be nice...