Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Yankees could go with a six man rotation at firstbase

You know they say:

The key to baseball is firstbasing, firstbasing, firstbasing!

In fact, during Yankee blowouts, John Sterling takes pains to note that tomorrow's game will be entirely different, because both teams will field a new firstbaseman. Well, at least the Yankees will.

Which brings us to Brian Cashman's latest revelation: Next season, Al Rodriguez might move across his diamond habitat to play firstbase, along with Mark Teixeira, the legendary semi-regular firstbaseman, also known as the first firstbaseman. This adds to the Yankees' options, especially when in the 2015 playoffs, because a team with so much firstbasing must make the playoffs. Or at least the away-field one game wild card.

Here's the dream rotation for next October:

Game One: Teixeira. Make no mistake, he's our Game One Starter, our innings eater. Hopefully, he can get us into the eighth, when we can turn firstbase over to Martin Prado, the closer.

Game Two: A-Rod, who can avoid a lot of negativity next year if he just calls himself "Al" Rodriguez. (Note to self: That should be this blog's future campaign. When he comes to bat, the Yankees should play that old Paul Simon song, CALL ME AL: "A man walks down the street and says, why am I soft in the middle...") Let's face it. A-Rod ("Al") is getting up there. If we get five solid innings from him, Tex can come in and be the bridge to Martin. If not, Cash can scour the waiver wire and bring back Lyle "From the Pile" Overbay. ("I need a photo opportunity/ I need a shot at redemption/ Don't want to end up a cartoon/In a cartoon graveyard.")

Game Three: It has to be Beltran. Let's face it: His elbow barks, but he doesn't. Last year, when they put Beltran at firstbase, it was the first time he'd played the position since elementary school, when he tagged Marcia Gonzalez in the mouth and served lunch suspension for three days. At 38, Beltran is a stop-gap firstbaseman, but there's still lighting in those knees. When he falls, nothing gets through them.

Game Four: Nobody captured the Yankee September spirit like Brian McCann. As soon as the Yankees escaped the race, Mickey McCann turned it on, like a fully opened beer tap. With four more years on his contract, he must play firstbase, because otherwise - well - what'll we do with him? He's got that short rightfield porch in Yankee Stadium, and last season led the mighty Bombers in home runs... with 23! The Babe, The Clipper, The Mick, Mr. October, B-Cann!

Game Five: Frankie Cervelli has the mit and the temperment. Good grief, he hit .301 last year, placing fifth in Yankee batting averages. (Team leaders: Jose Pirela .333, Martin Prado .316, Antoan Richardson .313, Scott Sizemore .313 and Frankie. How could they fire a batting coach who has five players hit above .300?) Our game five starter brings a solid bat and a great sense of desperation: He'd rather die in a home plate collision than spend another summer in Scranton.

Game Six. OK, I know what you're thinking. Do we really need a six-man rotation? Old school managers in the 1960s went with three-man rotations. Well, this is the modern era, folks. Get with the Yankee program.

And this, of course, is why the Yankees are thinking about signing Chase Headley. He brings that extra flexibility, in case Al Gonzalez decides to play third. Maybe Chase can change his name to Lamar Headley. Oh, who cares. You know what they say: In baseball, you never have enough firstbasing.

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