Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Yankees have more Vice Presidents than Pepsico

Feeling down about the season? That noose around your neck starting to itch?

How about some fun fact trivia!

Who has more Vice Presidents: a) the planetwide corporate colossus, PepsiCo, or b) the Yankees?

Well, if you happened to read the above headline, you've probably guessed the correct answer.

The answer is b, theYankees. They have 15 veeps. Poor little PepsiCo has only 13.

By the way, PepsiCo achieves $66 billion in annual earnings, with a budget larger than many Third World countries. As you read this, some Pepsico vice president is converting a reservoir in China or Africa into the mother's milk known as Diet Mountain Dew.

Here's another tidbit. Who has more Vice Presidents, a) the Earth-raping corporate leviathan, Monsanto, or b) the Yankees?

Well, it just so happens that the Evil Empire Yankees have more V.P.s than the Utterly Evil Monsanto Corporation, 15 to 11. Somehow, Monsanto deflowers the planet with fewer vice presidents.

OK, final question: In the test of absolute evil... who has more Vice Presidents? a) the financial vampire squid known as Goldman Sachs or b) the Yankees?

Well, nobody beats Goldman Sachs. The legion of James Bond supervillains has something like 13,000 Vice Presidents, according to Bloomberg News. If you can recite the words, "I worship thee, Satan," you become a Vice President at Goldman Sachs.

Stay proud, Yankee fans. Hal Steinbrenner is expected to soon add Omar Minaya to the front office. Could he be No. 16? Keep fingers crossed!

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