Saturday, September 22, 2018

Boone And Idiot Have The Same Number of Letters

Sipping crown royal manhattans from a straw, inserted into a family heirloom crystal water pitcher, I had a flash:

Boone has already committed to Gary Sanchez as the starting catcher in whatever playoff game we get, and wherever it is.

I thought of this as I watched Gary, in sequence:

1.  Bring his .181 batting average to the plate
2.  Strike out looking.
3.  Ring up another passed ball.
4.  Pick up a nubber in front of the plate and sail his throw into right field.

Does this mean that Boone is betting on the playoff game to come?  Taking the odds against the Yankees?

Does he really believe"positive steps" will cure Gary just in time for the big moments?

Will he play the ice cream sandwich imitation of Jesus Montero even if he, "shoots a citizen in plain site on 5th Avenue," as our President recently claimed he could do without losing voters?

What will it take to put a competent player behind the plate?

Why, then, isn't he declaring Bird as the starting first baseman?

And Sonny Gray as the starter?

Doesn't a little public support go a long way?

What evidence do we have that Boone's unflagging support of our great slugger has made an iota of difference in his performance?

It has been a year!

Call 1-800 IDIOT to register your responses.

28 comments:

Joe of AZ said...

Dont worry Alphosno. As Our fearless bench leader Bard would say, IT'S ALL PART OF THE PROCESS! Boone is beyond idiot...If I didn't sign the petition to "spread the word to end the word" there's a certain "R" word that is rather appropriate to describe his mangerial decisions

Local Bargain Jerk said...


You had me at the headline

JM said...

The YES guys were saying last night how good ICS's pitch blocking was during the game.

This was obviously temporary. And he still can't hit.

Madness using him in a one-game.

thecontrarian said...

5. Standing there with his dick in his glove while he LETS THE PITCHER COVER HOME PLATE!! Thank god Lynn got the tag down without getting seriously hurt. WTF.

Anonymous said...

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS THE SAME GUY FROM THE LAST COUPLE SEASONS.

I THINK HE MAY BE AN ALCOHOLIC OR FUCKING AROUND WITH OPIOIDS.

I'M SERIOUS.

JM said...

It's the ice cream sandwiches, Anon. They've clouded his brain.

JM said...

Where's the excitement around here? We clinch the Selig playoff with a win here.

Whoo. Yay. Huzzah. Yippee.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And a win they are now about to blow.

Two outs, two strikes, nobody on...and Britton could not put away a .212 hitter without power. The pinch-runner stole second, and he's now about to walk the next batter.

This team is just full of clutch players...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Whup-dee-effen-doo

HoraceClarke66 said...

All right, he got out of it. Mostly because our first baseman did this unbelievable, crazy thing where he actually—wait get this!—he actually:

Bent.

And thrust his body forward to catch the ball.

Wow. I hope he is teaching these radical new moves to Bird.

JM said...

I'm going to a Gary Numan show, so I'll miss the end of this.

Let me know what happens.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Spoke too soon. An infield misplay by Voit puts men on first and third.

So, what do we have so far today?

Against pitchers with ERA of 5.14, 3.96, 5.47, 4.27, we have...2 runs and 5 hits.

A pair of fielding miscues that gave them one run and kept us from winning in 9.

A relief who came in and was hit hard by the very first batter...

A team that barely seems to be there at all. This could be a spring training tilt, rather than an opportunity to clinch anything.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Don't know how he got out of that one—well, actually I do know: stinging line drive that Voit made a nice grab on with the bases loaded.

Hey, we'll take it.

Maybe we can get a walk-off here. Though I would settle for a crawl off.

thecontrarian said...

Spent that inning Hold-ering my breath *exhales*

HoraceClarke66 said...

Nope. I don't think I have ever seen such a sustained level of bad hitting against such awful pitchers.

thecontrarian said...

Is it just me, or is anyone else noticing that Judge can't pull the ball? I have not seen one ball from him hit to the left side since he came back.

ranger_lp said...

Can we all agree that Sanchez is done? Just put a fork in him. He still can catch a 98 mph ice cream sandwich. Wouldn't bounce in the dirt either.

HoraceClarke66 said...

The Yanks' TV guys are now questioning the strategy of trying for a home run on every at-bat.

Heads will roll!

It is truly amazing trying to watch this game. I never thought I'd be watching a tied, extra-inning game in which the Yanks could clinch a playoff spot and be bored to death.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Lead off single in the bottom of the 11th by Didi, followed by strikeout from Stanton (no. 206).

O'Neill and Kay talking about how "The Yanks look off-balance," and how that happens "when a pitcher know you're trying to go deep" on every pitch.

And...a hit by Hicks! Hooray. I can finally turn this torture off.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

That was longer than a performance of "Götterdämmerung." And not nearly as much fun.

thecontrarian said...

I guess I would say the Yankees didn't quite win; the Orioles beat themselves. Somehow limping into the WC doesn't seem to merit a champagne celebration. But then again, if you're doing the actual playing, and it's been such a woeful grind, champagne may be just the thing to keep you moving forward.

TheWinWarblist said...

TheWinWarblist said...
HOW CAN A TEAM THIS BAD HAVE 95 WINS!?!?!??? NOOOOOOOO!!! AHH! AHHH!!! Aha-ah-haaaaa!! HaaHaahahahahaaaaaaaaahhhh!!
AAaAhhaaaa-haha-haaa-hhhhhHHHHHHHHaaaaAAHHHHHHHHHHHaaaa-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaaaaAaAaHaHaHaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!

And a truly magnificent warble from The Master!!!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Siegfried slayed the dragon in the end.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

"slew"?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

At least it was fun listening to The Master get soooo excited, a truly magnificent warble indeed!
And I don’t consider the WC the playoffs, it’s the do or die game that allows you to be in the playoffs,,,,

HoraceClarke66 said...

That game—and this season—merited a diet ginger ale celebration.

And not the good stuff! No Schweppes for these bohos! Canada Dry, at best!

(Question: does RC make a diet ginger ale?)

TheWinWarblist said...

Shasta. Blech!

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