Tuesday, July 16, 2024

AN ABOVE AVERAGE HAIKU TUESDAY - WHY DO THEY/WE EVEN BOTHER ? - EDITION

Posted by AboveAverage at 11:15 AM


 

14 comments:

The Hammer of God said...

Are they vampires, AA?

Would that they were. 'Twould make it real simple. All we'd need to do is to call in the Van Helsing Extermination Service. They've been in business longer than the New York Yankees. They'd know what to do. They're experienced, reliable, fool-proof. They always follow the best practice. Their service is guaranteed, or your money back. Fully insured and bonded too by Lloyds of London, just in case of extreme mishap.

July 16, 2024 at 12:24 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...

To repeat my oh so vital words:

It's not just the way these sorts of losses—or these sorts of seasons—keep happening. It's the way these players keep flopping.

I thought Volpe had real potential when he came up. So did Cabrera, so did Peraza. We KNOW they did. They weren't just highly ranked by the Yankees and MLB. We saw them, we saw them play well.

Now...all three of them are a mess, unable to do even the basic things they did before. They are...just like Gleyber. And just like Sanchez was. And just like the Red Menace, and just like Bird, and AnDUjar...

This is more than coincidence. This is an organization that actively destroys the very few players it actually produces.

July 16, 2024 at 12:39 PM
The Hammer of God said...

Hoss, AA, Great points about Volpe in the thread the other day!

With these kinds of pendulum swings to his game, we can only conclude that the coaching is at fault. I don't think he could be doing these crazy Jeckyl and Hyde things all by himself. There's got to be an enabler in there somewhere.

If Boone was a real manager, he'd be able to guide them to reach their potential. The only guiding he does is to make them fundamentally un-sound. Volpe's looking tighter and tighter? In need of some loosening up? Maybe take a shower with Kelly LeBrock? Apparently, Boone doesn't see it that way. It'll probably continue until Volpe finally cracks, turns into Renfield.

July 16, 2024 at 12:44 PM
ranger_lp said...

Hoss...The Master always talked about how teams and players in New York are always overrated...to your point...

July 16, 2024 at 1:06 PM
AboveAverage said...

Ham'R - There does seem to be a vampire theme circulated throughout the "bloody" blog today.

Whether they're Day Walkers or Children of the Night or New York Yankees - they do indeed all suck.

I just wish that our central source of peanut butter milk fart brain synapses fired faster and harder.

Or - rather - just got Fired.

July 16, 2024 at 1:21 PM
The Hammer of God said...

If ever there was a manager who needed firing, it's Aaron Boone.

July 16, 2024 at 1:37 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...

Thanks, Hammer. Though maybe we should say..."dis-abler" instead of enabler.

There are some things beyond Boone's inability to fix, such as the roster or the farm system.

But things like the meltdown on Sunday...a good manager has got to find a way to keep these guys on their toes, concentrating, paying attention to what they're doing in the late innings. And he's got to call them out when things like that go down.

Aaron Boone is not a good manager.

July 16, 2024 at 1:43 PM
The Hammer of God said...

From the movie Yankee Weird Science (2024), currently playing, in theatres near you:

A naked Kelly LeBrock, looking just as great as she did in 1985, when she was easily the most voluptuous woman on this planet, is in the shower, getting splashed. (Camera pans to show Anthony Volpe's face and bare upper body. He is in the far rear corner of the shower, looking mighty tight and in a state of near frozen shock.)

LeBrock: You know, The Hammer of God asked me to come by and shower with you. He paid me very well. I was looking for some work. But work has been hard to come by. Acting is a tough business. Thank you, Anthony.

Volpe: (Stands staring at her naked ass. Then, as LeBrock turns around to see why he doesn't answer, he looks up at her face and nods vigorously.)

LeBrock: Showering is fun, isn't it?

Volpe: (Nods his head again.)

LeBrock: (Turns off the shower head in disgust.) You know, Anthony, if we're going to have any fun together, you are going to have to loosen up! (She opens the shower door and exits. Camera pans down to Anthony's waist and feet. He is wearing his pants and even his baseball cleats.)

July 16, 2024 at 1:55 PM
AboveAverage said...

Exactly - Hoss and Hammer.

July 16, 2024 at 1:56 PM
Copelius said...

Start spreading the news.
Exorcise Cash, Hal, and Boone.
The news has been spread.

July 16, 2024 at 1:57 PM
AboveAverage said...

I would humbly add a post script to your shower scene, Ham'R.

When LeBrock sees that Volpe is still wearing his unipants and cleats with socks pulled way up, and reacts in disgust - she instantly transforms into the 2024 version of herself - which sadly turns out to be frightfully close to the bathtub corpse hag from Kubrick's The Shining.

Cackle, Cackle, Cackle . . .

July 16, 2024 at 2:05 PM
BTR999 said...

Much of the discussion between the end of the break and the end of the month will be centered around the trade deadline.

But have we to trade that other teams would want? Our best minor league players are hurt. So who? Jorbit Vivas? Will another team see value in T.J.Rumfeld? Potential in Gus Ramirez or Oswald Peraza?

I don’t foresee any blockbusters, just some smaller deals probably centered around the bullpen. Nothing that’s gonna move the needle.

July 16, 2024 at 2:21 PM
TheWinWarblist said...

T'is true. So true.

July 16, 2024 at 3:04 PM
The Hammer of God said...

Hilarious, AA! Thank you!

And by the way R.I.P. to Shelley Duvall. She did an excellent job in that movie. I heard Kubrick made her re-do the baseball bat on the stairs scene so many times that her hair was falling out. Obviously, it could not have been an easy movie for her to do.

Little Danny boy had it pretty easy, on the other hand. I read that all he did whilst making that movie was think about what new toys his mother was going to buy him with his movie money. No stress, no jitters, no tension, just be a little boy in a huge empty hotel. Some guys have all the luck!

July 16, 2024 at 3:09 PM

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