Getting to the Bottom of This Awful Season

I'm sure no one has noticed but I've been away from IIHIIFIIc for awhile.  

God, it all started out so well.

Around the beginning of the season, life became much more frenzied than usual.  So much so, that I skipped my morning routine of starting the day with a cup of coffee and the merriment that is IIH.

After taking a week off, I returned and learned that I had just missed the annual "predict the Yankee final record" challenge.  Because the season had already started, I knew it was too late to get my guess in.  There's no past-posting in an honorable place like IIH.  Once the race has started, no more bets are taken

Right out of the gate, the team went 5-0!

I subscribe to the Wade Boggs school of superstition.  I eat chicken on game days.  5-0 was a reasonable enough sample size for me to conclude that my absence from IIH was causing the team to have success.  As much as it pained me, I stayed away from the foaming-at-the-mouth discourse in the comments section because I thought my absence was driving our success.  It was unpleasant but I took one for the team.

It continued to work.  By April 15, we were 12-5.  Then, we learned that John Sterling had announced his immediate retirement.  My fear was that Sterling's internal sensors -- which I assume are as sensitive as those in a seismograph -- had detected the approach of some major tremors on the team.  I looked to see if the dogs were spooked or the horses were whinnying in their stalls but I, a mere mortal, couldn't see or feel anything.

Sterling's abrupt retirement turned out to be a false alarm.  The Yanks kept winning so I kept staying away.  By June 14th, the team was 50-22.  Man, you can't argue with success!

It turns out, June 14th was the day THE GREAT SWOON OF 2024 began.  Since that date, the Yanks have gone 11-23.  My Samsung Galaxy Calculator tells me that makes for a .325 team.  As the losses mounted, I began reading the comments on IIH again.  I couldn't help but notice the classic symptoms of a sort of communal psychotic break.  The comments evidenced a group of people hearing, seeing, smelling, and tasting things that just aren't there, searching in vain for THE REASON.  Maybe that's just normal for many of us around here, but it did seem a bit more strident than usual.

Anyway, I'd like to step back in and offer my three reasons for the team's plunge into the Stygian abyss:

1. 
   Gerrit Cole Came Back -- Gerrit Cole re-joined the team on June 19th,  On that day, we were still 51 and 25.  Did everyone in the clubhouse get overly optimistic and remove their foot from the gas pedal?  Did Cole say some unknown something that annoyed his teammates, à la Rob Refsnyder?  I dunno but, man, it's awful hard not to connect the dots on that one.
   
   
2. 
   
   
   
   During the Win Streak, Alphonso Did Not Post Pictures of Pretty Basque Girls -- In years past, Alphonso would regale us with photos of pretty girls from the Basque country and would promise to do so until the photos stopped having an effect on the Yankees' record.  That didn't happen this year during our win streak and the team went into a nosedive. 
   
   More than coincidence?
   
   
3. The Real Reason: I Bought MLB.TV -- Out here in the hinterlands, if your local cable outlet doesn't carry YES, you need to buy viewing rights from MLB.TV to watch the games.  MLB starts out the season at $159.99 for all games.  That's a bit steep for the likes of me to pay to watch meaningless games in April.   This year, however, I was climbing the walls because I couldn't see the team kick the ass of everyone they went up against.
   
   Every year, right around June 1, MLB drops the price to $99.99 for the remainder of the season.  This piques my interest, but I've learned to wait because, right around Father's Day, they drop the price further and that's usually when I'm in.
   
   This year, the price dropped to $54.99 for just the Yankees or $59.99 for all games, all teams for the remainder of the season.  The Yanks' record had me feeling on top of the world so I splurged for the $59.99 package.
   
   I did this on June 14th.  Here's a screen shot of my Amex statement: 
   
   

 

On that day, a Friday, I poured myself a big glass of cold Sangria from a recipe I learned in the Basque country and enjoyed watching the Yanks whup the tar out of the hated Red Sox 8-1. 

And that was all she wrote.  The victory on June 14th was followed by two losses.  Then a win.  Then three more losses.  Then another win.  Then four more losses.  The bleeding hasn't stopped since then.  I snapped off MLB.TV in disgust.  I've barely watched it since.

It's easy to blame Hal, Cashman, Boone, et al, but there's no need to do so.  The real reason is shown in the screenshot above.  I parted with money on June 14th to watch the Yankees win.  The JuJu gods noticed and stepped in.

So, I'm sorry everyone.  It's on me.  I did it.  I'm not sure how I'll make it up to you.