Sunday, July 28, 2024

The Yankees steal a victory, but it's the Cashman Eve of Destruction

Congrats to the Death Barge, which last night shinnied down to its final out before beating Boston - a strange, hopeful farewell to a lineup that we will probably never see again. 

Earlier Saturday, the Yankees bundled three of their best prospects for 26-year-old Jazz Chisholm Jr., a Nassau-born, lefty- hitting OF/2B, whose next incarnation as a Yankee only makes sense if you believe that a massive roster makeover is imminent. 

Be afraid. Be very afraid. 

It would be fitting - karmic, maybe? - if on the day following Gleyber Torres' dramatic game-winning double, that the longtime Sterling call disappointment - (Like a good Gleyber, Torres is there...)  is traded for lint, to be replaced in the lineup by a longtime Marlin disappointment. Of course, the Yankees have a sterling trade record with Florida, as Giancarlo Stanton will attest. (Did I mention that Chisholm has a history of nagging injuries? He has never played more than 124 games in a season. A tweak-prone OF from the Marlins... what could go wrong?) 

Chisholm is a career .246 hitter, batting .249 this season, with 13 HRs and 22 SBs. He'll probably bat leadoff. If he plays CF, he'll knock out either Trent Grisham or Alex Verdugo, two of last night's heroes. If he plays 2B, Gleyber likely will disappear. Then there is The Martian, Jasson Dominguez, now starting a minor league rehab. He was going to be the third OF after Soto and Judge, right? Now, he has no place - unless a massive mudslide of deals is about to happen.

I fear that Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman is just warming up, on the verge of a massive draining of the farm system. Frankly, the GM might not have to worry about dealing prospects. If the 2024 collapse continues, despite all his barnyard photographs of Food Stamps Hal, Cash could be gone next winter, maybe kicked upstairs within the leaden Yankee bureaucracy.  

The MLB trade deadline is 6 p.m. Tuesday. By sunset that evening, the Yankees could be an entirely different team. 

So, do we slit our wrists now, or later? Yank fans know better than to be excited by the notion of "free" stars - players obtained in trades for nobody we know. In recent years, we have endured terrible trade deadlines: Joey Gallo, Harrison Bader, Scott Effross, Frankie Montas... et al. Chisholm's checkered past makes him a prime candidate for yet another disappointment, though the deals - as always - was quickly hailed this morning by the courtiers of the NYC press. It's impossible to fully gauge the talent that is being traded.  But one thing we know about dealing prospects, year after year after year... 

Keep trading away your youth, and eventually, you get stung.  

It's sad when you can't even celebrate a great Yankee win, like last night. Who believed that Mariano Holmes could hold the line? Who believed that Gleyber could put one off the wall (thanks to Mr. Universe, the worst defensive Redsock LF since Manny.) 

But who can ignore the dread of a looming trade catastrophe? 

This is the Cashman Eve of Destruction. 

The AL East, it is explodin'
Tampa sellin', Boston loadin'.
Your bullpen is shot, every lead is soon erodin,'
You get nothing but Ks when the bases are loadin'
And even with Cole starting, it's still so damn forebodin'...

And ya tell me over and over and over again, my friend!
How ya don't believe we're on the Eve... of Cashman!

35 comments:

AboveAverage said...
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AboveAverage said...
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Pocono Steve said...

Kudos to Cashman for demonstrating improving from piss-poor clubhouse cancers like Jackie Donaldson to mediocre clubhouse cancers like Jazz Chisholm!

Another advantage of this move? Jazz Chisholm is certainly a better baseballer than the only other Jaz(z) I know--Jaz Coleman of Killing Joke for all you post-punks out there.

Pocono Steve said...

Just pretend the word "demonstrating" isn't in the previous comment and that we have the ability to edit comments if we're in the habit of proofreading them only after posting them!

AboveAverage said...


NYoko Ono’s - Trade, Trade, Trade

Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do
Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do

Cashman
Genius
Evil
Fiendish

Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do
Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do

He’s old
Washed up
Yankees jersey
Suit ‘em up

Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do
Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do

I'm cry, cry, crying inside
It's a long, long story to tell
I’m bleed, bleed, bleeding inside
And I can only show you my hell

Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do
Trade, trade, trade, trade ‘em all
Just one, one more will do

Why them?
Why him?
On my knees
Shoot me please

Soto
Don’t Go
He’s Gone
Low Blow

13bit said...

I hate the Brain. It's like watching a rich kid doing stupid shit, making bad moves, paying no consequences, getting rewarded and thinking he's a genius.

The Hammer of God said...

@ 13bit, Yep, too too too true true true!

The Hammer of God said...

So they finally got a win against Boston. Mayhap this will persuade them Redsuckers to get rid of their freaking canary jerseys and blue construction helmets. Seeing those fat bozos in them yellow jerseys is enough to invoke nausea. It's much worse than their traditional unis.

Anyways, Tyler what's-his-face gets LVP honors for that one. LVP = least valuable player. Couldn't have done that without you, Ty! Trent Grishom, on paper, looks like he had a great game, but both his hits were flub jobs by Ty, the game LVP.

And so these Bronx Bums can actually beat Kaylee Jansen, or whatever the hell his name is. Gotta hang an asterisk on it, though. Tyler kind of gave it away. He'll probably DH today.

ranger_lp said...

RIP Jaz....shook his hand once before a show @ Maxwell's in Hoboken...

Carl J. Weitz said...

Don't you understand what I'm trying to say
Can't you feel the fears I'm feeling today?
If a Cashman trade is made there's no runnin' away
There's only one way, this team to save
By puttin Hal and Cash in an early grave

Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin'
I'm sittin' here just bitchin and complainin'
Brian can't fix the team, it's just too frustratin'

Ah, you may leave here for four days in space
But when you return, it's the same old place
The same old team, the management's a disgrace
With men LOB all over the place

And you tell me
Over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of playoff elimination
No, no, you don't believe we're on the eve of playoff elimination

The Hammer of God said...

So Cashfuck brought in another great name on paper: Jazz Chisholm, Jr. Gotta hand it to the intern. He just keeps on stockpilin' on them cowboys for the Great Yankee Western, a movie to be filmed about 25 years from now. How the East was won.

Yeah, and this means that they'll never bring up The Martian now. Garbageman Giancarlo is comin' back on Monday. And they'll say that The Martian's path is blocked again. How can they bring him up when they have all these great Hall of Famers on this roster? Giancarlo, the Gleyber, Vertigo, LeMahieu. The list of greats is endless.

AboveAverage said...

I’d respect Cashman more if he’d trade himself to another team for a box of pop tarts and an extra large bottle of Kirkland brand diet peach schnapps.

The Hammer of God said...

Gleyber, I don't know if he was doing the hanging leg thing when he had those two good years earlier in his career. (I don't think he was.) Hanging his foot up there for a hang time of something like 2.5 seconds. Makes it almost impossible to hit well. Everything has to be timed perfectly. Is there another major league hitter who does this? I think not.

His confidence appears all shot to hell. After that double in the 10th, you could see on his face "Oh finally, I got a hit".

He should've been traded years ago. Trade him now, try to get one pitching prospect in the low minors. But take a chance, take a stab. It's better than hanging on to him. Addition by subtraction.

He made another goofy defensive blunder last night. He makes at least one bad play in every game.

The Hammer of God said...

Vertigo, another dude they should trade PRONTO. You think he had a good game last night? He only plays well against Boston. And it's only one game per series, and only in Boston.

Trade Vertigo for a pitcher. I don't care who or what kind. Move the guy before it's too late. Now that Chisholm is here, that makes both Vertigo and Gleyber Torres more expendable. Get rid of the fat, right freaking now.

The Hammer of God said...

It sounds like they gave up too much for Chisholm. The Augustin Ramirez catcher guy sounds like a near major league ready product. Between that guy and our current backup, Narvaez, who is the better prospect? I hope they made the right choice, but it sounds like Cashman fucked up again.

The Hammer of God said...

Narvaez had dreadful at-bats against the Mets that Luis Gil game when he got a start. He didn't look like he had a clue. Swinging out of his shoes at junk out of the strike zone.

Doug K. said...

Gleyber knows that the Yankees getting a "flashy" former all star 2B means he's gone. So he looked depressed. If he's not gone this year then he knows they are not going to try to re-sign him.

Don't know if I like the trade or not but getting Gleyber gone is a good thing.

AboveAverage said...

Gleyber Goner
Verdugo Go GO

Not much out there to be gotten, though.

(truth be told - I would never drink diet peach schnapps)

Carl J. Weitz said...

Augustin Rameriz's Somerset Patriots hitting coach said he was a " generational player" with his ability to hit for both power and average. Plus, he's supposed to be very good defensively. Here are his stats this year:


AB
228

AVG
.289

OBP
.372

SLG
.57

HR
16


The Hammer of God said...

For God's sake, get rid of the Gleyber. I can't take anymore of him. The bad defensive plays, one in every game. The base running gaffs, which he'd do one in every game, but he doesn't hit much anymore, so he's never on base enough to make mistakes these days. The one legged hang time stance, waiting three seconds for the pitch to come. I'm scared that he'll infect the rest of the lineup with the one-legged disease.

The first thing I'd do if I was a hitting coach, I make him stop it with the stupid one legged thing. Just pick up the front foot for an instant as the pitch is coming, take a small five inch stride, and then swing. Simple, ain't it?

The way to fix it to force him to take bp without any leg kick. Hit Joe DiMaggio style. Hit Juan Soto style. Wide stance, only a weight transfer as he swings the bat. Nothing else. Once the hitter gets the feel back for only doing the simple stuff, it'll happen naturally.

The Hammer of God said...

Carl, those are good numbers. Figures that the Marlins would ask for the guy with a .289 batting average. Everyone else in our system seems to hit .220.

The NY Post scouting report has a very different take, though. Says he sucks defensively and they say scouts reported that he is pretty much average for a hitter, except with very good power. Who to believe?

The Hammer of God said...

I'd have to watch him myself. Only saw a video of him hitting three homers. Big follow through, almost wraps the bat around his neck at the end. Well, he's gone now, so no use checking him out.

The Hammer of God said...

Just watched a little video of Jazz Chisholm batting highlights. At least this guy does not have a leg kick. He does it right with his foot. Only lifts the front foot and a small step before the swing.

Now watch the Yankees tell him he needs a Gary Sanchez style 24 inch high leg kick, because then he'll hit 30 homers a year and explode his exit velo. Watch the Yankee weight and conditioning coaches tell him that he needs to barbell squat 600 lbs to increase his leg drive. Watch him get hurt within three weeks of arriving here. I venture to guess, herniated disc, maybe, and out for a year and a half.

Pocono Steve said...

Ranger_lp, Jaz is alive and well! Guitarist Geordie Walker passed last year.

edb said...

Even the sun shines on a dog's ass, once in a while. Genius Cashman moves on and on and Yankees fans suffer.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ Hammer...I just looked at a more honest and unbiased scouting report. It says his defensive skills at catcher are bad. I should have taken the AA hitting coaches's take with a very large grain of salt.

"Ramirez stands out much more for his offensive upside than his defensive prowess. He lacks agility and soft hands, so his receiving, framing and blocking all need plenty of work. Ramirez has solid arm strength but a slow release that led to 104 steals in 132 attempts (79 percent) in 80 games last year, and some scouts believe he'll wind up at first base."

The Hammer of God said...

Carl, that makes me feel a tick better but not much. So he throws out 21% of base stealers? That's better than our catchers, ain't it? Our guys throw out maybe one base runner per month.

BTR999 said...

Wonder why Dominguez wasn’t in the lineup in SWB last night. Injury? trade? Caution? Stupidity?

The Hammer of God said...

Saw that too, BTR999, and yeah, sounds like trouble. It's most probably because they're shopping him. So he's a goner too, eh? It'll be much much better for him if he winds up with another team. Because he's never going to crack the roster here.

And I heard that they're shopping Spencer Jones too.

Cashfuck trying to save his wrinkled old ass by making desperation moves. It's all for nothing. Because they won't make the playoffs. Too many old guys here who drag them down. Have to get rid of the garbage before you can improve.

Doctor T said...

Hal whines like a spoiled brat that a championship team shouldn't cost over 300M in salaries, while he presides over a team with a lifetime GM who consistently hires a development staff that can't develop talent, analysts who have too much power and don't understand baseball, a medical staff who can't read a medical report, coaches who have coached this team into mediocrity, a manager/PR flack who needs the analytics department to give him a lineup, and that grossly overpaid GM will trade whatever young talent they have for flash-in-the-pan mediocrity or overpaid, overage broken parts.

The questions Hal never asks himself is: what would my spreadsheet look like if I had an experienced, competent staff? What if my staff were hired and promoted based on performance, instead of having the right connections and being good at licking boots?

But then he'd have to ask himself what qualifies him to own and lead the most storied baseball team in history, when his only qualification is his that he inherited it.

Okay, that's my rant for today. I'm sure Cashman will trade Torres, Verdugo, Spencer, 3 more good prospects and a truck of Hal's cash for some broken mare on their way to the glue factory and claim victory.

Joe of AZ said...

If Jazz is like Starlin Castro Im ok with it

JM said...

Jazz is an unrequited hype baby. Should've got Arozarena. Or somebody else.

Whatever. Cashman will make a bad situation worse. Now that Gleyber went outside the organization for hitting help and is doing better, they'll go with someone who sucks. The Yankees way.

Doctor T said...

Torres went outside the organization for a hitting coach? Thanks for the update JM. Wow. That's so instructive, if you'll pardon the pun.

All players have enough money. Even the rookies. Walk past the the idiot coaches and go get some real help. Your career depends on it.

The Yankee organization is truly sh*t from the top to the bottom. Woof!

The Hammer of God said...

No batting coach worth his salt can let a guy take a one legged stance. That's gotta get cleaned up. If Torres won't listen to the coach, then Boone has to sit him down and tell him "your way of doing things is shit, so either you listen to the coach or you sit on the bench". But Boone only coddles, and I don't know that the coaches have tried to get rid of his one legged stance.

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ BTR...There's nothing wrong with Jasson. Their plan was to give him the day off. He will be in the lineup today.