Getting the band back together

Who needs Soto, anyway? Look at the old friends we can sign now that we've reached the offseason!

Rob Refsnyder is available, and he's only 34!

Hey--so is 34-year-old wily veteran, Andrew Heaney! Whoo whoo!

Lance Lynn is 38, full of vim and vigor--and cheap, I bet!

Harrison Bader, the Big Boot. It'd be a real kick to re-sign him at 31!

Holy shit, Frankie Montas! The 32-year-old magician of the mound!

Luis Severino, our own Sevvy, is also only 31...going on Cy Young!

Two words: Caleb Ferguson, and he's only 28!

How about a nice veteran arm to help stabilize the pen? Yes, Aroldis Chapman is available! At 37, he's got plenty of time to shoot Brian's garage and sweat gallons of perspiration!

And if not him, David Robertson, the old pro, is 40 and ready to come home! In that village where centenarians eat yoghurt, 40 is still young!

Kyle!!! 35 and hitting his stride!

Gary Sanchez--32 and hitting occasionally! (Gonna need a new number, big guy!)

We don't need no stinking batting average. Not with 31-year-old Joey Gallo returning to the fold!

Gio!! 'Nuff said!

Go for it, Brian!!!

Let's get them back where they belong--at the lovely cinder block home of baseball's greatest team of all time...with an amazing 1 World Series title in 24 years!!! (And 26 championships played in an old stadium that was actually magical...)

And let's not overlook our new old manager, Buck Showalter!! At 68, he'll whip this team into shape with some old-time religion!

We can do it! We can get all of them back in pinstripes!

Man, I can't wait until April