Today, let's acknowledge those who made this possible:
The juju gods, who just last week somehow coaxed four wild pitches in one game! That's felony grade juju, folks. You can't teach it. You can't buy it. And the juju gods have it.
These tireless deities deserve our respect. Not only do they work around the clock - nights and weekends - but they never whine, they show great attention to detail and - hey, you know what? They are hot. Yes, it needs to be said: They are, by far, the best looking gods on the firmament spectrum. And smart, too. Smart as the dickens. They wear glasses and read a lot - Russian novels, thick books, heady stuff. And they're nice to old folks. Have I ever mentioned how fundamentally kind they are? Sure, now and then they'll royally screw you - it's the job! - but overall, our juju gods are the unsung heroes of the indigenous immortality community.
So, to all you juju gods - keepers of bad hops and expanded strike zones - I humbly salute you. Thank you for your hard work in 2024. You are top-notch beings.
Regardless of how the series ends - I mean, none of us at IT IS HIGH would ever put our earthly demands over the gratitude we feel- I say, BRAVO! Way to go, chief! You've done it again! And, hey, have you guys lost weight?
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The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, "If only Casey could but get a whack at that—
We'd put up even money now, with Casey at the bat."
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey getting to the bat.
El Duque is right! The juju gods are the best! I even liked their candy, which was so hard one tiny nub could last an entire movie.
The jujubee, essentially an edible BB, and just as deadly if you shot it at a bird, was far superior to its competitior Jugyfruit. For example, a piece of Jugyfruit could pull out a filling but a Jujubee could crack a tooth rendering it beyond repair. Stuff like that.
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Quick question about Casey at the Bat...
Did Boone make up that lineup?
Because the two best hitters, Cooney and Barrows, seem to be the eight and nine hitters and the two worst hitters, Flynn and Blake are the table setters for Casey.
Seems stupid.
The former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a cake.
Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Yankees management team!
On a serious note, let us bow our heads and give a moment of silence for the New York Metropolitans. This plucky crew won with grit and unfailing effort when they should have been pummeled out of the postseason in short order. With half the team now in free agency, they will be a very different group in 2025. I tip my toupee in their general direction.
A fine effort. We have our work cut out for us.
I feel bad for all my Metsie friends. As for Juju - I was messing with anti-gravity, reverse negativity, plutonium Juju maneuvers the last few days. Not sure what needs to be done now, so I'm going to eat some more food and meditate.
I for one have never said *anything* bad about the juju gods. Ok, maybe once or twice - but I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
A note also to the juju gods -- I heard a couple of Dodger fans talking s4!t about you last night after the game. They said they didn't need any help from any juju gods. Not me - DODGER FANS!
Oh, it's well known, Rufus! I've even heard Angelenos smirk and say, "Juju gods? What juju gods? Next you'll be talking about the Easter Bunny." Then, they smeared on some more tanning oil, slipped on their sunglasses and skimpy bathing suits, and went off to the beach.
They did! I swear that happened!
As for me, I can't remember ever saying anything bad about les entities juju. Nope. No lamentations from this hombre. I accepted everything they did our New York Yankees with bowed head and sad nod, hoping I could learn from the justice they meted out.
Obviously, we do what the Juju gods want us to do and we show love and appreciation for them. We ALL learned that by the 10th Grade. Those of us that did not are in prison now. BUT BUT BUT - I think they not only know, but they EXPECT us to get irritated and occasionally curse at them a little bit. It's a demonstration of our passion and it shows that WE are paying attention to THEM, so I don't watch my mouth too much. If I happen so blurt out "They want me miserable" or "I guarantee you we will win/lose/suffer/whatever," they know that I'm just a silly mortal and they, in their infinite wisdom and mercy, ignore me. Come to think of it, sometimes the greatest gift you can give is a lack of attention. They already know what they need to do . They know that we are behind them all the way - shock troops behind Generalissimo Duque - and they will do all they can. They also know that we can't quit the Yankees, so we must be patient. I'm going to lay my prayer mat out now, so you'll please excuse me.
Flattery will get you nowhere.
Exactly. But I will say that I have a very nice side of prime beef, all laid out and ready to be put on the sacrificial barbecue. Mmm, you can almost smell it now! And that extra goat, and side of lamb! Sacrifices r us! I bet none of the Dodgers fans even have an altar anymore. But the smell of these roasting will go straight up into the heavens...
Bravo and Brava and Bravx.
I was going to opine that the Juju gods may have gone vegan on us and that we should have a truck full of tofu and seitan ready. But then....I realized....that WE are the main ingredient to go n the skewers. We have been roasting for long enough, damn it. I'm going to do another dive into that BBQ sauce and climb back on the grill.
I will say this about the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball club: Fuck Them. Fuck them to death with the barbecued corpse of Shrimp Altuve.
(Maybe a nice Kansas City smoke and dry rub with sauce on the side?)
Dear Ju Ju Gods: um, Hope I wasn't out of line with the unfortunately phrased string of oaths I let out after Weaver coughed up that homer in game 4. Heat of the moment, oh great ones
Was thinking about throwing a sacrifice down the volcano out in my yard. Goats and virgins are the standards, but being against killing and all I decided to toss my Dodgers hat in. We'll see how it goes
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