Today, that's sorta how I feel about Redsock fans.
Turns out, their blinding anti-Yankee hatred - and refusal to STFU - furnished the secret sauce Thursday night in Cam Schlittler's masterpiece. Instead of watching the road ahead, Boston fans raged on social media and the flophouse internet, talking trash about Schlitter's family, royally pissing him off, and running the Redsock car smack into a ditch.
Years ago, I recall the same thing happening to Roger Clemens, when his wife attended a Yankee game at Fenway. The things they shouted so enraged The Rocket that he shut the Redsocks down, sinking without a bubble. Thank you, asshole fans.
Which brings me to the meat of this post.
I don't like like Vlad Jr. That's okay. He doesn't like me, doesn't like any of us. Long ago, he made that clear. And, honestly?, that's fine. Frankly, I don't like any of the Blue Jays (aside from Max Scherzer; I mean, who can hate Scherzer? First ballot, Coopersville.) You know what they are? Sideway drivers.
We at IIHIIFIIc recognize the limits to a well-crafted, artistic, literary, well sourced, thermonuclear, personal hatchet job.
For example, take Vlad Jr. Whenever I see this finely rounded, trust-funded, fully-entitled nepo baby, I think of how he once vowed - and you could quote him! - to never, ever, EVER - not in this life or the next - allow his perfect rump to be soiled by Yankee pinstripes. He would never play for us. NEVAH! But then, when he realized there could be Yankee money on the table in free agency, well, he took it back. He would play for the Yankees, after all. And now, with $500 million over 14 years in his pocket, he's returned to bad-mouthing the Yankees, the team he most wants to beat. And you know what he's doing?
He's talking sideways while driving.
This week, the Yankees didn't take their eyes off the road. They channeled their emotions. They stayed in their lane. Over the next few days, the Blue Jays will try to capture and harness the indignation of Canada, a great nation and our greatest friend, which - and there's no other way to say this - has been ill-treated by our President.
I'm sorry, but the Blue Jays cannot carry the Maple Leaf of Canada any more than I can. Kevin Gausman is from Colorado, George Springer from Connecticut, and Mad Max, he's from St. Louis, and - damn - he's been everywhere.
To beat Toronto, the Yankees simply must keep their mouths shut and watch the road ahead. It's been 16 years. No more speeches. It's drive time.
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2 comments:
At the risk of sideways driving, Hoss, why did Richardson throw away his hat?
We can beat these guys. As Keefe was saying, the Yankees are a different team now than they were the last time we played Toronto. If Volpe keeps hitting and making plays, he'll be our shortstop for the next 15 years, and I'm willing to go along with that. A number of us, including me, will likely be gone by the time he retires. Fine. But he has to keep hitting and making plays. Otherwise, I'll lead the chorus of headhunters next year.
Three out of five is not a lot of games. We can do it in three, maybe four.
Vlad Jr. is still a jerk. And if we make it to the World Series--karmically against Milwaukee--we can beat that other fatass, too. Though I will be more than happy with beating the Dodgers, those arrogant bastards.
I think Duque's post should be read aloud in the Yankees locker room shortly before game time.
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