Won't be long...
In about three weeks - a few catastrophic storms, celebrity breakups and ICE atrocities - pitchers and catchers will report to civilization, and the Big Yankee Wheel will begin to grind, anew.
It would be wonderous to think that, over those three weeks, the Yankees would spend some leftover grist to improve - rather than recreate - last year's first-runner-up contestant. Why kid ourselves?
The Yankees will decamp to Tampa with the same basic lineup that finished second last year and was blown out by Toronto every time they faced off. This team is weaker, due to the shredded bullpen. Instead of Luke Weaver and Devin Williams, the Yankees will trot out Caleb Ort and a Rule 5 pick named Cade Winquest. (You can't make this up.) Moreover, once they lose a pitcher or two in spring training - (Fun Fact: they always do) - the A.I. system that runs them will start shouting "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
The remaining question is not whether Cooperstown Cashman will remake this team, but what he'll do to it by chasing his "great white whale," the starting pitcher who could carry this team into October. Maybe he'll trade The Martian. Maybe Spencer Jones, or one of our four prospects recently named on Baseball America's Top 100:
George Lombard Jr., (#46) shortstop who will make us forget Anthony Volpe.
Elmer Rodriguez (#59) fireballer who will make us forget Carlos Narvaez (Redsock catcher we traded for him.)
Dax Kilby (#61) last year's 1st round pick, who hit well at Single A, who will make us forget George Lombard Jr.
Carlos Lagrange (#93), who hits 100 mph on the jugs gun, and who will make us forget - um - can't remember.
The list of Cashman's pitching failures spans the eras of Kevin Brown and Javier Vasquez all the way to Sonny Gray and Nathan Eovaldi, with a few Michael Pinedas and Ian Kennedys to thicken the broth. It's an impressive list of failures, a chronicle of our misfortunes.
He's got three weeks to trade young for old. The Yankee way. We've got three weeks to live in fear. Get low and stay away from windows. Won't be long.

5 comments:
Dumb clucks.
Cuck ducks.
Yuck fucks.
Dumb schmucks.
No Cfucks
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