From Elmer to the Coleman boys, the first nothingness is in the books

Now and then, on days like this, we should remind ourselves that a win in late February is just as important as a win in early March.

Which is to say that both are steaming dregs of meaninglessness, sold to sunbaked snowbirds as they brown-up their precancerous pigmentations, featuring names that shalt be whispered once in the Yankiverse and then never heard again.

Let's consider the half-dozen glitches in the Matrix who pitched for the Yankees, in game one of the Grapefruit season.

Elmer Cruz Rodriguez, also known as Elmer Rodriguez, is one of the buzz boys of camp. He's 22, 6'3", hails from our 51st state (Venezuela) and came to the Yankees in what has been, thus far, a hideously lopsided trade. Two years ago, Brian Cashman traded Cruz-Rodriguez, Rodriguez - Elmer - to Boston for Carlos Naevez, a fine young catcher. As a result, the Yankee front office has an existential reason to promote, uh, Elmer, and we must consider the desire for Cashman to have this guy succeed. 

Yesterday, Elmer succeeded, sorta. He threw three scoreless innings, though not without help from a broken bat DP grounder and a magnificent diving catch in the outfield by Kenedy Corona, a fellow Venezuelan who sounds like a beer, but who is, in fact, a 25-year-old, glove-first farm urchin. If Corona doesn't make that catch, Elmer's first appearance would look entirely different. But it still wouldn't matter.

Jake Bird, the 30-year-old bust from last July's trade deadline, who collapsed so gloriously that, after being demoted to Scranton, he still couldn't get anybody out. This is another pitcher that Cashman acquired, and thus the brain trust will make sure he gets ample opportunities. He threw a scoreless inning.

 Kervin Castro, 27, another Venezuelan - sensing a trend? - who pitched a one-two-three inning. Once upon a time, at age 15, Castro supposedly hit 88 mph on the radar gun, then signed with the Giants for more money than you'll make in five years. He missed two seasons with Tommy John. He's a longshot.

Bradely Hanner, 27, who gave up a 2-run HR to Pete Alonso, the only scoring in the game. Last year, he pitched 49 innings at Triple A, with an ERA of 4.74. A righty. 

Carson Coleman, 27, of Lexington, Kentucky, winner of the Zolio Almonte Award for the star of the first game of spring. He fanned three batters in one inning, stamping his ticket for at least another outing. He's a Yankee farmhand who missed all of 2023 due to Tommy John, and who was returned to the franchise after being selected by the Rangers in the 2024 Rule 5 draft. You can't do much better than striking out the side. Interesting.

Dylan Coleman, 29, a 6'5" cog who threw a scoreless inning but gave up a hit, against the No-Names of Nobodyville. He's bounced around for 10 years. Hey, you never know.

Meaningless to us. But not to the pitchers and their scrapbook-keeping moms. O, the vagaries of February!