It's time for the Yankees to accept the reality about Jazz Chisholm.

Somewhere around East 161st Street, Mamdani should erect a giant bronze plaque that says:

WELCOME TO THE BRONX

BIRTHPLACE OF HIP-HOP

RESTING PLACE OF JAZZ

Of course, I refer to Chisholm, the saddest jazz in modern culture. 

Jazz Chisholm's plummeting career

In 2026 - a year of wars, heat domes and A.I. slop - we have witnessed the decline and fizzle of one Jazz Chisholm, morphing from MVP candidate to human pop-up machine, and the last Yankee you want to see with a game on the line. 

With his nearly every appearance, the YES happy talk machinery suggests that THIS could be the AB that saves Jazz's season and ends our ongoing national nightmare. Then he hits a pop fly. 

Moral: Never tell an open mic you plan to hit 50 HRs next year. 

So now, in these doggiest of August dog days, it's time for the Death Barge to finally accept a stark Jazzy reality: 

Jose Caballero should play 2B, not just against lefty starters, but every single fukking day. Not because he's an all-star. But because he grinds.

Cabby is Chaos, a walking stick of dynamite. He annoys pitchers, catchers, managers, umpires, juju gods, beer vendors and basically everybody being paid to attend the game. If he gets on base, he's gonna run, though he gets thrown out one-in-four times. And nearly every Yank rally - what few we see any more - there's Caballero, in the middle of the scrum, doing something that pissed off the opposition. 

Yesterday, his 8th inning single scored the go-ahead run and left him caught in no-man's land, between first and second. If Chisholm had not stopped momentarily at third, Cabby's run-down heroics would have produced a tack-on run that won the game in nine innings. 

Cabby's having a moment.

Turns out, the Yankees won anyway. 

But time has run out for Chisholm. He's mired in a deep, dark and dreadful drought. At 28, and facing a new contract, this should have been his career year. Instead, he has one foot out the door, and the December ownership lock-out cannot come fast enough. Maybe next year he'll go 50-50. This year, he should be watching and waiting for maybe one last chance, with no guarantee it will ever come. Yankee dreams die hard. This one is over.