Blogitorial: Maybe Buzz Bissinger and Murray Chass Are Onto Something Here...

The more and more I delve into the bowels of the New York Yankee Blogiverse, the more and more I start to think ol' Buzz Bissinger, and for that matter, Mummy Chass -- errr, Murray Chass, are onto something earth moving.

Something BIG!

Bloggers, and especially sports bloggers, have no gooddam idea what they're talking about.

None, whatsoever. Zilch, nada, zippo, mi hombres!

Especially Yankees bloggers, Red Sox bloggers, and Dallas Cowboys bloggers. Thems Cowboy bloggas really have no frocking clue about anything.

Thankfully the internet is only readily available in roughly 16% of Texas, so we can consider ourselves spared. Imagine if, holy Jesus Montero, a number closer to 50% of Texans had internet connections? Poor Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson would never get any private 'quality time' on the back dirt fields of Dallas, full of lonely cattle grazing on playoff victory opportunities lost wayward.

Then, out of left field the other day, I had a revelation:

What the hell happened to Murray Chass?

Where did that cranky old bastard from the New York Times go? Seeing as the newspaper industry is going down like Paris Hilton in a low-lit home video, and the barren wasteland known as the Internet is littered with former great (and not-so-great) sports columnists, I decided to do a reliable Google search on Mr. Chass.

The man started a blog!

At least thats what I thought it was at first. Then I clicked on the 'About' button, and this was the welcoming passage on display from the always warm and fuzzy Mr. Chass:

"This is a site for baseball columns, not for baseball blogs. The proprietor of the site is not a fan of blogs. He made that abundantly clear on a radio show with Charley Steiner when Steiner asked him what he thought of blogs and he replied, “I hate blogs.” He later heartily applauded Buzz Bissinger when the best-selling author denounced bloggers on a Bob Costas HBO show."

Ohhh, there's more:

"Bloggers, however, are welcome to visit this site; so are stats freaks, fantasy leaguers and Red Sox fans. How else will they know what is being said about them by a columnist they love to hate?"

Thank you sir, may I have another?

"Otherwise, this site will most likely appeal primarily to older fans whose interest in good old baseball is largely ignored in this day of young bloggers who know it all, and new- fangled statistics (VORP, for one excuse-me example), which are drowning the game in numbers and making people forget that human beings, not numbers, play the games."

Then, Mr. Chass took off his Mr. Rogers' zipper-sweater, threw it in the closet and smashed the train set, and finished his 'thanks for the hit on my webpage, and if you have a 'blogspot' attached to your name, fuck you very much' welcoming message with this 'peace be unto you' nugget o' fun regarding the email policy at Murray'sHouseofWhoopChass.com:

"E-mail comments are also invited, but visitors to the site are asked to omit the obscenities.

“I have spent my professional life in the print world, where obscenities don’t see the light of day,” Chass said. “They will remain in the dark here as well. It will be a good test for bloggers and Red Sox fans to see if they can control themselves.”"

"In addition, Chass noted that some of his grandchildren will likely visit the site, and they hear enough profanity in school without needing to read it here."

Well, Mr. Chass, I agree with you 100%. And may I be the first in line, yes, in front of Vulgar Whitey, to get my mouth washed out with an old, half smooshed bar of Irish Spring soap that sits in the shower and is shared by a family of six.

Yes sir, if chaps like young Phil Hughes, Honest Abe, Mr. 'Sam I Am', Curtis Schilling or Joel Sherman, for example, can own and operate fragile blog space within the blogosphere, then I agree: The World of Blogging has become too watered-down, obscene and full of fat, lazy former athletes that simply made a name for themselves with some well-placed ketchup stains.

Yes, as we move further into the new age of 'Anti-Blogger-Blogging', we must find a new way to reach the freaks who simply can't get enough meaning out of a newspaper or two. We must find a way to reach the men (or women) who need to spend six hours a day online, reading old and tired, uneducated or uninformed amateur analysis from some guy parked behind a laptop in his whitey-tighties as to how the 2009 Yankees batting lineup should be constructed.

Or, as to how the Red Sox should acquire both Albert Pujols AND Hanley Ramirez...

Or, as to whether or not 'America's Team' should bring back Ms. Pac-Man...

As Mr. Bissinger put it best: "I really think your full of shit. I think blogs are dedicated to cruelty, they are dedicated to journalistic dishonesty and they are dedicated to speed. It really pisses the shit out of me."

Well, Bissinger and Chass, we here at It Is High couldn't agree more with you.

How about you, fellow fans of Blogiverse? Where doth thou come out on thy topic?

UPDATE: I just saw on 'Countdown with Keith' that Sarah Palin has launched an attack against bloggers, lashing out at "bored, pathetic, anonymous bloggers who lie"...

I'm sorry, did you say 'Anonymous' was involved in this scrum? Wow, he's a busy blogger!

First he costs Palin the election, then he goes after blogger 'Sam I Am' with the thirst of a man stranded in the Sahara Desert for two months.

I guess the question Mrs. Palin begs us to ask is:

What is the difference between a pitbull and a Vice President Nominee that all but cost her party a shot at the Oval Office?

You can train a pitbull to close its mouth.