Open Letter to the Yankees: As a jackal, I am happy to now be off your back

Dear Madams or Sirs,

I am hereby off the rag. No more whining. After three victories in Baltimore, I have no complaints.

Well, actually, just a few...

1. Couldn't you have won those last two in nine? These are school nights. Ballplayers can sleep late next morning. Some of us work.

2. Mariano pitched three straight games. Doesn't Joe have a rule about this: Nobody pitches in three straight? Again, see No. 1.

3. Whatever happened to blowout wins? Yes, some fans love the thrill of a one-run knuckle-biter, but there is a great majesty to a 14-2 victory.

4. Baltimore looks awful. In fact, whoever is the studdest 17-year-old in the country ought to figure he'll be playing in Baltimore.

5. Glee has become a horrible, wretched TV show. Yeah, I know, it's not your fault. But can't you do anything? If we just sit on the sidelines, nothing changes.

PS: Kuroda still on shitlist.