Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A .500 team is a mathematical work of art and a perfect equilibrium of nature

Last night, in scenic Your Name Here Stadium, I watched the Pawtucket Pawsocks beat the Syracuse Chiefs 4-3, with a strange concept on display. Imagine a Triple A game played by young players on their way up, rather than old-timers in their final incarnations. Over the last 20 years of monitoring Columbus and Scranton - the Yankees antique attic for used parts and memorabilia - practically all I've ever seen were nostalgia re-enactments, teams larded with the Wally Whitehursts and Russell Canzlers of yesteryear. That's the Yankee way.

The Redsocks can find hope for Mookie Betts. Meanwhile, the Yankees trot out Adonis Garcia.

Aw, shoot... if I sound negative, it's because I ruined an otherwise perfect night by tuning into the Sunoco Broadcast Booth on the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Grief. If you popped in during the eighth inning, you knew in seconds that the world had suffered a terrible tragedy. Several times, John started recapping Derek Jeter's unbearable rally-killing DP, then halted, preferring to sell the snake oil of a million dollar payout from Celino & Barnes. Suzyn couldn't save him. She was chewing on her lip, buttoned down with mortification. They were watching their team squander another brief hot streak by playing minor league ball. They saw the reality: A .500 team will do horrible things in order to stay at .500.

Listen: Boston and Tampa have both won five in a row. A week ago, John was crowing about those sad teams selling off John Lester or David Price at dramatic discounts, with the Yankees having their pick. Now, we should prepare for the whooshing sound, as one or both teams overtake us. Moreover, we should prepare for a long-term plague, because they will pass us with young players, the kind we would trade for Cliff Lee or somebody, anybody, named Chase - be it Headley or Utley - who cares?

The saddest part here, as The Master repeatedly stressed, is that Jeter had been playing well lately. Last night, we were reminded that 40 is 40, and it doesn't leave... and that Kelly Johnson is a nightmare at first... and that Brian Roberts will never regained his glove... that Zelous is Yangervis... and that Matt Thornton would be long gone by now, if not for his two-year contract. Without Mark Teixeira, the Yankees are a Triple A club, and not a particularly exciting one - like Pawtucket or Syracuse - to watch. A .500 team is a work of mathematical art, like one of those miniature wave machines on your desk. It always gives back the wins of last week. It's too bad we're playing the worst team in the AL. Because it's our turn to lose. And don't stand in the our way, when it's our turn to lose.


KD said...

watching the game with the wife last night when Jeet came up, one out, bases loaded. "are you feeling it for Derek?" I asked. she pondered and replied, "No, not this time". Jeter promptly hit into his inning ending DP. Her reverse JuJu backfired. She is now suspended for 10 games.

Parson Tom said...

without Texiera, a .500 team.
with Texiera, a bit better but not much.

JM said...

Come on, guys! We can lose this! It's not beyond our reach. We can really lose this!

Next time, 6 errors. No, wait--7. 7 errors. That should do it.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

This year is definitely the Curse of The .500,,,, just enough wins to spin the fantasy about making the cut, ensuring horrendous acquisitions for geriatric over the hill bobbleheads. If it's going to be a losing season, let's really sink, and sink BIG TIME!

That's my NuJuju rant for the day,,,,

KD said...

Oh, Please God, no. we're going to give up prospects for Cliff Lee, aren't we? I can sense it. There is a foreboding of evil in the air. Cashman is working, even now.

JM said...

KD, it's the smell of sulfur. Always a dead giveaway.