drunkblog: David Phelps is our ace

O. Skull hurts. Liver hurts. Body hurts. One more day of drinking agony. One more day trapped on this journey to hell and back. Missed last night's game. Checked score on phone, meant to go somewhere and watch last inning, then forgot about it. Who cares about Cincinnati. I bet people in Cincinnati don't even care about Cincinnati.

Had long talk with uppity Redsock fan. Do not be deceived by these sneaky, conniving, scheming poisonous snakes. They're just playing dead. They still think they will win this thing. They actually believe kids from Pawtucket will revive this team, and that the Flyin' Hawaiian will return and lead them. They would trade Pedroia for photos of Kim Kardashian, send John Lester to Phily for Cole Hamel, install a bunch of Mookie Bettses, and they think they can rebound. Do not turn your back on them, Yankees. It's a trap! They still blame everything bad that happened on Bobby Valentine. They act friendly, but they are not. Hail Hydra.

All one guy talks about is Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. "Fantastic... incredible... blah blah blah." He admits rooting for the apes. Screw dat. I'm not going to the movies to be reminded how awful and stupid human beings are, and how smart and good apes are. That's what Hollywood wants, and I'm not biting. No ape sympathizers. Support your species, people. Hail Hydra.

O. I feel like crap. Who's pitching today? CC?