Thursday, July 17, 2014

drunk blog continues: My head really hurts

I am not going to drink until five oclock. I am not going to think about the Yankees until five oclock. I am not going to do anything until five oclock. These people, they are crazy. They want to start drinking before noon. I am fighting for life and truth. I am not in control. What would Yangervis Solarte do?


Mustang said...

You know what will cure that hangover?

A drink.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

Here is my personal strategy for dealing with hangovers.

0) If possible, before going to bed the night before, drink 3 Yankee Souvenir Cups full of water.

The morning of:

1) Wake up and drop a deuce like you've never dropped one before.

2) Take a warm shower and drink half the water that comes out of the spigot. Use the rest to wash the crud off your body.

3) Have two more glasses of water, or OJ.

4) Eat something that looks like you feel, e.g., a runny western omelette, pepperoni pizza that's cold from the fridge (the congealed cheese should resemble the patina on your face), etc.

5) Have more water.

If 1-5, don't do it for you, you need to do one of two additional steps. You can choose whichever one seems better for you:

1) Take a 2-hour nap in a cool room with a blanket pulled over you -- OR --

2) Have a Bloody Mary, extra spicy. Eat all of the celery.

The above never fails for me.

I also once bought some apirin that dissolves in water, sorta like alka seltzer. It also worked wonders.

Mustang said...

Good tips, LBJ. Hydrocodone helps, too.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Local Bargain Jerk, GREAT tips!
Popping Advil like Skittles works for me, in tandem with the greasy breakfast and kiddie pool IV of H2O.