Thursday, July 31, 2014

Yankeetorial: Don't buy, Mr. Cashman. Sell, sell... SELL!

Dear Mr. Cashman,

In the movies, the great, all-wise, peace-loving super-ape, Caesar, stunned the James Franco/Charlton Heston genetic-redneck-industrial complex by uttering the ultimate revolutionary word: "NO."

The rest, of course, is box office history.

Today - alias "Trade the Yankee Future Deadline Day" - you have a similar opportunity to save Yankeekind.

You can do what Yankee GMs did throughout the dark ages - prop up rancid teams with bloated slobs in the final, downward spirals of their careers, by trading away what thin strands of hope we have in our farm system. You can watch the Redsocks reload, their fan-base mocking us, as they shuttle John Lester to Baltimore - so the O's can crush us - and then, next year, bring another title to Boston. We can relive this same July 31 agony in 2015, and 2016, and again and again... until the entire crap-pile one day collapses upon us. It's happened before, and I'm not talking about the movies.

Or... sir... you can say... NO.

Listen to me: YOU CAN DO THIS! You can cut against the grain! You can change the course of Yankee history! The apes don't need to take over our planet.

The Yankee fan base is tired of watching haggard old retreads. We are thirsty for youth, for homegrown talent, for Yankees through and through - not mercenary rentals who peaked in 2006. A few sportswriters will yip and moan, but you'd be surprised at how many will come to your defense, who will see the folly of trying to perpetually float canoes made of concrete. The fans will understand...

Don't chase Cliff Lee, or Alex Rios, or Josh Willingham... or anybody. They won't make a twit of a difference. Moreover, we don't want them. We don't need them clogging our roster next year, the way Alfonso Soriano did through June. (And Vernon Wells, and Andruw Jones, et al, in previous years.) There is a reason why people sell used cars, why teams dump such players. You don't get something for nothing. You just get their headaches.

Sir... take a page out of every successful team in baseball... cut bait, clean house... Sell.

Make some calls. Gingerly, see what you could get for Mark Teixeira. He's fading, injured half the time, clearly on the descent. Right now, he's hitting well. Next year, who knows? Somebody might offer a nice package for Tex. Kick the tires. Cut a deal. We can lose with the guy. And we can lose without him.

Consider trading Hiroki Kuroda. Next winter, he'll probably retire. Do you remember what happened last August? The guy plummeted off a cliff, completely out of gas. Is there any reason to think this won't happen again? We were going to limit his work load this year. Did that happen? Hell-o-o? The guy is a fine fellow, yes, but he's also a bomb, waiting to go off. Right now, teams would vie for him. He could bring us a package of prospects. Next winter, we'll get nothing for him. Nothing at all.

For God's sake, trade Ichiro. You'll get a B-list prospect, maybe less. But you'll be doing the right thing. Ichiro can help some contending team. He can play in the post-season, occupy the national stage in his final at bats. (If he thinks he's returning next season - at least in America - he's deluded. It's over.) And we don't have to watch a great player slog into mediocrity.

Right now, the Yankees are chasing the second, away-game Wild Card birth, and pretending it's not an illusion. We're playing for the right to suit up for a one-game season. For that, we're supposed to be excited?

Sir, I have news for you: It's embarrassing. 

The Yankees aren't supposed to challenge for the one-game, away-slot Wild Card. They are supposed to challenge for the World Series. And there is a huge difference. Practically every team in baseball is chasing the Wild Card. We are the Yankees - at least we were. We are supposed to set higher standards. Now, well... I wonder. We're the definition of a .500 team.

Sir... Change the course of Yankee human history. It's all up to you. One word. Say it... please, I beg of you. Just say it... SELL, SELL, SELL.


Anonymous said...

Great piece. I hope Cashman adheres this policy.

You are the Duke of the internet.

Alphonso said...

This is the great American Dream. The Yankees aren't rational. WTF are you thinking? Wishing? Praying for?

You might just as well argue that we can win out the season and bring home the championship. That all we need is a little patience.

Do you think Almonte will go 0-4 forever?

Do you think Kuroda will lose every game 3-2?

Cashman only knows how to ruin. NOt build.

Get it through your head. The Yankees are finished with Cashman as the GM. We are ruined already for the next 5-10 years, even if they do something smart.

They won't and they can't.

Trading a Tex or Ichiro or Kuroda is too simple. Cashman overpaid for those guys and, by golly, he is going to make certain we play them.

He is out to prove that the Yankee fan base is totally brain dead, and without passion.