Excerpts from Derek Jeter’s First Children’s Book: The Very Hefty Banana Hammock

“Bananas bruise easily, because their feelings get hurt,” the Captain warned, wincing at the thought. “Once peeled, each needs a magical spell to stay happy and aloft.”

*

Uncle Joe looked cross and uncomfortable, as he loosened his belt. “This heat has me bunched to the starboard,” he said. “We need a bigger banana boat.” 

*

The woodland nymphs played “Swing the Hammock” until old Mr. Torre gave out a loud moan. “"Whooooooah, baby!" he said. "I don't know what enchantments you're using, sister, but I've needed a bullpen session like this for a long time."

*

The dog said, “Woof.” 

The cat said, “Meow.” 

But the banana remained quiet. 

“Shhh,” the Captain said. “It’s thinking about cottage cheese.”

*

“Good night, stars. Good night, pillow.

“Good night, wilting, weeping willow.

"Good night, Jills, and good night, Jacks.

"Good night, billiards, in their sacs..."

*

And the Ball boys, Abe and Ollie, lounged happily ever after, in the hammock built for two.