FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Posted by el duque at 7:07 AM
I looked it up: We play Toronto 13 times, have 10 with Boston and a measly six with the Tampons - who are now down by seven losses. Certainly, there is time enough to turn this hope into a cruel October joke. But make no mistake: It would take a full-scale, Buhner-for-Phelps, Sidney Ponsonesque Yankee collapse.
Which, we know, can happen.
I won't say how. No sense giving the juju gods ideas. But when you hoard old players, you live in a world of twitchy lumbagos and stubbed gonads. Between now and the Aug. 1 trade deadline, Brian Cashman will study injury reports each night, looking to secure a replacement before bad news even hits the wires. This is the scariest time of year, a week when we could make that deal that haunts us for decades. Let's hope this is the year when the front office finally salves our wounds with young Yankees, rather than bring in a red tide of Wally Whitehursts and Vernon Wellses. Or am I hallucinating, just thinking that could happen?
Let's run the lineup for replacement parts.
C: If McCann goes down... it's John Ryan Murphy and Austin Romine - (remember him?) He's having a fine season in Scranton. Romine could be a trade throw-in, but Cashman wouldn't get much a straight-up deal. They say the franchise stud, Gary "Jesus Montero II" Sanchez, is not ready. But Romine can backup. We'd miss McCann, but we wouldn't have to deal.
1B: If Tex goes down, trouble. Terrible trouble. The Evils will not promote Greg Bird from Scranton. He's too green. Garrett Jones, the obvious replacement, is a terrible, horrible, wretched fielder. Imagine all the game-saving scoops Tex has made... gone. This would be the disaster. We would have to make a deal.
2B: If the Merry-Go-Round gets hurt... bah! Who cares? For weeks now, fans have hoped Stephen Drew would get an erection lasting more than four hours and have to seek medical attention immediately - first sign of his bat all year. Hopefully, Rob Refsnyder or Jose Pirella - on a tear at Scranton - would finally get a chance.
SS-3B: If Gregorius or Headley go down, Drew or Brendan Ryan take over. Good fielding, no hitting. (In other words, not much change.)
DH-OF: If A-Rod or an outfielder goes down, trouble. Ugh. We can't afford to lose A-Rod or Brett Gardner. We simply can't afford to lose A-Rod or Brett Gardner. Have I stressed that enough? We could call up Ramon Flores or even Aaron Judge, the giant Scrantonian. Beltran would move to DH, maybe with Jones. We just CAN'T afford to lose... oh, you know...
Starters: If we lose Tanaka or Pineda, mingahhh. Adam Warren would take over. Then Chris Capuano. Luis Severino is throwing well at Scranton, but he's on an innings count. Cashman would probably trade the house for someone. This could be the stopgap deal that we rue for eternity.
Relievers: If Betances or Miller (again) go down... trouble. Severino might come up. The Yankees have used a scrap yard of Scranton relievers thus far. Hopefully, one would get hot. But Cashman would be all over the waiver wires, pulling people in. This gets ugly, fast.
Listen: We can no longer buy the notion that Baltimore, Boston or Tampa are secret championship teams just waiting to catch their stride and pull away from the pack. The AL East is ours to take. Only we stand in our way. So ice the wrists and rest the hips, boys. For want of a nail, the war was lost. For want of a tendon, so could the Yankees' season.