Yanks have home field advantage in World Series, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point!!!

So Tanaka pitches game one. We win, of course, exclamation point. Then, figuring Yankee Stadium as a southpaw's paradise, Clipboard Joe goes with Carsten Cooperstown in game two. We win, of course, exclamation point. That leaves Pineda for game three - St. Louis? - and the sketch comedy team of Evaldi/Nova/Warren for game four. We win, of course, exclamation point.

Unless we've traded 2017-19 for Cole Hamel. If so, he pitches game one. We win, of course, exclamation point. That knocks back CC - though, aww, c'mon - we're fantasizing here. Why limit ourselves? CC is the team mensch. So he pitches. And we win, of course.

Wow, exclamation point. We just won the 2015 World Series, exclamation point. I haven't felt this gooey since Andrew Cuomo personally tracked down David Sweat. (Should he now go after El Chapo, question mark?) Let's just hope the pix from Pluto don't show a Romulan base - (wait, they'd use the cloaking device, so we'll miss them) - and Trump can build his 50 foot wall around Mexico, and then a 400 foot cage reef to keep out the sharks, and America can win the Miss Universe pageant, which - let's face it - we should dominate, exclamation point.