FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Yanks have home field advantage in World Series, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point!!!

So Tanaka pitches game one. We win, of course, exclamation point. Then, figuring Yankee Stadium as a southpaw's paradise, Clipboard Joe goes with Carsten Cooperstown in game two. We win, of course, exclamation point. That leaves Pineda for game three - St. Louis? - and the sketch comedy team of Evaldi/Nova/Warren for game four. We win, of course, exclamation point.

Unless we've traded 2017-19 for Cole Hamel. If so, he pitches game one. We win, of course, exclamation point. That knocks back CC - though, aww, c'mon - we're fantasizing here. Why limit ourselves? CC is the team mensch. So he pitches. And we win, of course.

Wow, exclamation point. We just won the 2015 World Series, exclamation point. I haven't felt this gooey since Andrew Cuomo personally tracked down David Sweat. (Should he now go after El Chapo, question mark?) Let's just hope the pix from Pluto don't show a Romulan base - (wait, they'd use the cloaking device, so we'll miss them) - and Trump can build his 50 foot wall around Mexico, and then a 400 foot cage reef to keep out the sharks, and America can win the Miss Universe pageant, which - let's face it - we should dominate, exclamation point.

4 comments:

John M said...

I wanted to say something funny about how funny this post is, but I'll have to settle for just saying it's really, really funny.

JEB! said...

Great post especially the dig at TRUMP!

KD said...

Annual Drunk Blog already? It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!! I'll have what your having El Duque, Burp,,,,