Apology Accepted, Andy... on these conditions:

AN OPEN LETTER TO ANDY PETTITTE

Dear Madam or Sir,

We the people of IT IS HGH... accept your apology with the following stipulations.

You must:
1. Beat the Redsocks.

2. Lead a national dialogue against performance enhancing drugs, in post-game shows after beating the Redsocks.

3. Teach children importance of never -- oh, hell with this -- teach Youkilis the importance of never getting comfortable at the plate!

4. World hunger, peace, poverty -- screw that shit. Beat the Redsocks. Seriously. Do whatever you want: Rob banks. Snort mimeograph paper. Glue mirrors to the tips of your shoes. We don't care. We accept. Wipe those tears out of your eyes, solider. Get out there and pitch.