Today, holy shit, do we need a laugh or what? I got nothing, zero, zilch. I need an underground bunker. All night, even in sleepy Syracuse - (rhymes with sheer abuse) - you hear fireworks, like percussion grenades.
So here's our best shot. The Onion.
Thirty-two years ago in Madison, Wisconsin, it began publishing satire based on the notion that nothing is funnier than old-fashioned truth. All-time fave headline: "Rotation of Earth Throws Entire North American Continent into Darkness."
So, without further adieu... a few baseball truths, according to The Onion...
And our competitors...
And a few more...
And this.
Jubilent baseball world awaits
July 24 Opening Day
Wait. That's not an Onion headline. That's... gulp... real? Oh, fuck.
3 comments:
The Onion is a miracle. No other publication of its kind--Spy, National Lampoon, Mad--managed to stay truly funny for 10 years, let alone 32. My own favorite Onion headline is "Area Bassist Fellated."
That's a good one. But best Onion headline is in a historical pamphlet they put together, July 1969. Bold topline: "HOLY SHIT". Sub heading: "Man Walks On Moon"
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