Virtual Baseball: Happ-iness in Pittsburgh for the Yanks. Bombers Prepare for Patsyville.

This is getting monotonous!  The virtual New York Yankees put on yet another display of early fireworks against the perpetually tanking Pirates tonight, routing the Bucs by 12-4 behind the mellow offerings of J.A. Happ.

Happ, known as "the Perry Como of major-league baseball," put the Pirates to sleep with any number of somnolent pitches, allowing just two runs in seven innings.

Mop-up relievers included Aroldis Chapman.  "The Ice Man" was no longer sweating profusely, but pitches from his iced-over throwing hand went every which way, leaving Pirate batters diving for the deck.  When he was able to get the ball over the plate, Chapman's serves looked just about unhittable, baffling the sluggers with their twists and dips.

For the visitors, Gleyber Torres, Clint Frazier, Kyle Higashioka, Thairo Estrada, and Luke Voit all shelled out for dinger donations to keep the home run jukebox playing.

The surging Yankees go on next to Minnesota, a.k.a. The Land of Thousand Walkovers, where run production is expected to be in the high nineties over the weekend.