Thursday, October 22, 2020

Virtual World Series: Stroman In the Gloamin' Takes Yanks Apart. Mets Up by Two. Trump Throws Out First Pitch, Heads to Family Vacation at Montauk Motel.

Marcus Stroman showed why the Mets acquired him last year, shutting the Yanks down on one run for the first seven innings. Stroman's old Long Island, schoolboy rival, Steve Matz got them the rest of the way—barely—in a 4-3 victory.

Yankees starter Jordan Montgomery gave the Bombers everything the team could expect from a young pitcher today:  ninety pitches and nearly four whole innings. Monty struck out eight, but also allowed a long, two-run homer by Joggy Robby Cano, and a crucial, two-run single by Brett Gardner.

The Yankees looked to rally, but could muster only a long home run by Andujar off Stromy. They had more success against Steve "Matzoh-Brie" Matz. But after The Red Menace, Clint Frazier doubled in one run and Gio Urshela singled in another, Matz got the Oft-Injured Hicks to end the game on a spectacular, diving catch by Gardy.

Yankees fans slogged home, dumbfounded—a distinct contrast from the festive start to the evening, when President Trump threw out the ceremonial first pitch, to thunderous boos from the Bronx faithful.

"Just because the economy's tanking, the country's being consumed by a mysterious, pangolin-related ailment, and the Dow is now below 14,000, people are upset," scoffed new Trump spokesman Paul O'Neill. "But we've just started to fight this campaign!"

Looking to refresh himself for the final stretch drive, Trump and his extended family motored to Montauk after the game—at least, if the end of the game is defined as the top of the fifth. To the surprise of many locals, Trump and Comp are staying at the old, low-rent, Rough Rider Hotel, recently purchased and renovated by a foreign concern as the Muscovy No-Tell Motel.  

The choice of hostelry is located near a peaceful deepwater cove, and is thought to have been influenced by the Trump family's newfound interest in snorkeling.

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