Saturday, July 6, 2024

Turn it off. Turn it off! TURN IT OFF! TURRRRN! ITTTT! OFFFFFFF!

It's hard to rank Yankee losses. 

I mean, they each sting with the savagery of a million cuts.

But which is worse - an old-fashioned, 15-1 woodshed spanking? Or a blown-save, extra inning bullpen collapse?

Add two Ignominy Points because last night's loss came against Boston. 

Two more because it happened at home.

Add one because we apparently lost a player to injury, (though the way Gleyber was playing, let's call it a wash.) 

Add a point for a player failing to hustle. Make it two, because that player was DJ LeMahieu, a team leader and, generally, great role model. Add one more because - damn - how toxic must an environment be if you're talking about DJ LeMahieu failing to hustle?

Add a point for the four-game losing streak.

Add one because the Redsocks are now a mere three games behind the Yankees in the - gulp - wild card race. Yeah, the fucking wild card. It's not even mid-July, and already, we're back to chasing a participation trophy in MLB's expanded playoffs system.  

I believe it adds up to the worst loss of 2024 - worse than the Baltimore butcheries, worse than the Mets sweep, worse than last week's blowout to the lowly, hateful Blew Jays.  

But don't be surprised if it isn't soon topped.

No lead is safe. Our closer cannot close. We're like those campers in The Blair Witch Project: We've hiked the forest for days, and we're back to Aroldis. 

We have squandered one of the best opening months in Yankee history. 

We have nobody at Scranton coming to save the day. 

No trade deadline deals will save his team. In fact, we might be better off selling players, though that won't happen. We will simply continue the same failed strategies that got us here - a failed organization and a toxic environment. 

We are a listless team playing for a manager who goes on TV, shakes his head and makes excuses. 

We just suffered the worst defeat of 2024 - one of the worst in modern Yankee history. 

George C. Scott had the right idea. Turn it off.

28 comments:

Hinkey Haines said...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PK1iIpxalII/TbLaSZEn8-I/AAAAAAAAAiM/h5VeaL8-6yM/s1600/surrender-dorothy.jpg

Piiax said...

Or, in the immortal words of the manager, "We stink right now"(2023 wasn't it). What a difference a year makes. Sigh.

Doug K. said...

They nullify Yankee Killer Devers and lose anyway. This team has no bottom.

Celerino Sanchez said...

Unless someone else is going to trade pieces away, what’s the point. He’ll trade Soto for the 2029 version of Torres and Ben Heller and Clint Frazier and Justice Sheffield and…. You get the point

BTR999 said...

Right on target Duque.

Maybe the rube fans will wake up one gay. Maybe.

BTR999 said...


From YANKEES.COM

Richard Schenck, Judge’s personal hitting instructor, sent a reply during Thursday’s game that was critical of the Yankees’ player development.

In response to a message posted by the YES Network highlighting Judge’s statistics in Yankees victories, Schenck posted from his @Teacherman1986 account: “They’ve lost 13 out of 18 while he’s hitting like an MVP[.] The Yankees offensive player development is terrible.”

😆😆😆😆😆

AboveAverage said...

Butt they are Savages in the Box.

SAVAGES IN THE BOX…

IN THE BOX . . .

SAVAGES!

—— - — ———

2024

Ladies and Gentlemen

How much more

Can we endure

Carl J. Weitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Hammer of God said...

Yeah, BTR999, saw that too. Surprised that it was posted on their site. Where are the thought control and Yankee Propaganda Police minions?

I'm glad we aren't the only ones imagining this. There are people out there who think the same thing.

Judge says he takes hitting lessons from Schenck every two weeks. Hmmmmmmm, why doesn't he take Anthony Volpe along? A new student for Schenck. Probably charges $50,000 per hour, but I think it'll be worth it for the Volpster. If he can't afford it, Judge can give him an interest free loan.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Being a Yankees fan is like...well, my pill=popping friend from college years ago described it best. He took a pill every morning to get up. He took another pill at night to go to sleep. He took another pill in the afternoon for God knows what reason. Probably for some type pain or anguish. He said " Mentally can't take it and physically won't make it." Prophetic words, indeed.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Better yet, hire Schenck as the hitting coach or a supplementary batting instructor.

The Hammer of God said...

The worst loss of the year? When you're already dead, what's it matter what they do to your corpse? Well, yeah, according to the ancient Greeks, if your body is defiled and the funeral rites are not held, it means you won't be able to pay Chyron, the Ferryman, to cross the river Styx to enter Hades. But I digress...

Already did the first Yankee funeral awhile back. The second Yankee funeral will be scheduled for the day after elimination. Third Yankee funeral after the last game of the year. They're so dead, they need three funerals. Because "One [funeral] ain't enough, Jack, better make it three" George Thorogood

The Hammer of God said...

@Carl, But HAL cannot afford Schenck's services. Players would have to do it on their own.

The Hammer of God said...

Did I say Boone is the worst manager I've ever seen? No? Well, he is. The absolute worst by a zillion zillion miles.

I can handle losing when and if the team is playing the game the right way. It's when they don't play professionally that's really irritating. No accountability, no discipline, no fundamentals, no head in the game. What could go wrong?

Playing like shit whilst daydreaming is contagious. That's part of the reason why they needed to do big time housecleaning. Needed to get these fat complacent cats out of here before they contaminated everyone else.

I'm not really paying attention to this disaster. Didn't even catch the game last night. Well, listened to the first part until the rains came. Heard of the latest disaster on the news.

The Hammer of God said...

Heard Ma Yankee say Rob Refsnyder is now a big cog in the Red Sox machine. The younger look up to him. And he helps them get through tough stretches. Because he survived his Yankee disaster. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

The Hammer of God said...

younger PLAYERS, I meant

The Hammer of God said...

Wonder how Hayder is doing these days. I thought getting him was a pretty obvious move. Would only need money. Could've moved, even dumped, dfa'd Torres to clear some salary room to get Hader if HAL objected to more salary. How would that look now?

The Hammer of God said...

Checked on Hayder, seems to have righted himself after getting off to a rocky start.

I'm tellin' ya, the Yankee Titanic management, every year it's the same shit. Spending exorbitant sums of money on crap, nickel & diming on important and obvious stuff. Then complaining about "how could we fore-see this disaster happening?" What can you do, except laugh?

Carl J. Weitz said...

Hey Hammer...don't knock Hal. The players say he springs for the best after-game buffet in the majors!

Carl J. Weitz said...

Which makes me wonder: If Babe Ruth were alive today and asked the bat boy to get him 6 hot dogs to eat between innings, would he notice the rodent feces?

AboveAverage said...

Carl - I think the rat nuggets were far more plentiful in weiners back in Babe's day.

So much so in fact that they were considered tasty and flavorful additions to frankfurters.

Sorta like how a city or town's water is thought to change the flavor profile of baked goods such as breads and bagels, rat skat altered the distinctive mouth feel and flavor of tube sausages you ate, depending on the team and the location of their ballpark.

AboveAverage said...

And Carl, I think you stumbled on a terrific cold open idea for the next season of the Great British Bake Off.

I'll get writing that up straight away . . . .

BTR999 said...

Torres sitting today, Cabrera @ 2nd

The player with the slow heartbeat, Mr .159, is batting 6th!

This team always struggles offensively in day games after night games. Cole will need to be old King Cole today.

Doctor T said...

Not to worry. Cashman will trade tomorrow's superstars for some broken part that would otherwise be put on the IL. Meanwhile, the bean counters in the analytics department will give Boone a fresh lineup that works as badly as the last, and Aaron will dutifully follow orders. All the coaches will shout 'hit strikes harder!" (we see how well that works for Volpe)

But not all is lost, kiddos. Bally's is cleaning up on all the suckers who bet big on the Yankees earlier this season. Hal and Randy Levine are excited. They've found a new way to make money.

Winning!

HoraceClarke66 said...

I don't think Boone is a good manager, either, and obviously, he has no ability to inspire these guys or even get them to pay attention.

That said, what the hell do you do with a "closer" who gives up a two-strike, two-out, bottom-of-the-ninth home run to a guy with two homers on the year? And a .263 hitter on deck? Or another bullpen "ace" who gives up a game losing homer to a guy named, what, "Scrofula"?

Boone makes this team worse. But even a great manager could not win with this pitching staff.

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ranger_lp said...

Just got back home and they put up a 14 spot…smh

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!