The state of the Yankees is all about Will Warren being Will Warren.

Come back, O' meaningfulness of spring...

We long for box scores that tell us what the hell happened and, maybe, what the hell is coming...

What we see is the form-fitting black box known as Will Warren.

Yesterday, he pitched into the third, gave up a run, fanned four. By most respects, a typical Will Warren impersonation of Will Warren, reading from the book of Will Warren - (abridged, of course) - with an introduction by Will Warren.

Not bad. Not great. Vintage Will Warren. 

Here's what happened...

First Inning: Strikeout. Triple. Single (run scores.) Line out. Strikeout.

Second inning: Single. Infield hit. Fly out. Strikeout. Fly out.

Third Inning: Fly out. Strikeout.  

And Boone brings the hook.

Overall, a descent Will Warren outing. In fact, if you're following Will Warren, you gotta at least give the guy the second meaningless batter of the first meaningless inning of the first meaningless exhibition game of 2026. 

If Will Warren can be the Yankees' fifth starter, devouring the innings that a fifth starter needs to consume, he could reduce the pressure on Luis Gil and Cam Schlittler, who is already missing time. He won't become an ace. He won't become a liability. 

And that, comrades, is what Will Warren does.

Last year, he threw 162 innings, went 9-8 with an ERA of 4.44. Meh, you say.

He's 26, which is young for anybody from Branson, Missouri. 

Among starters, Warren is an old-school outlier. He pitched four years in college. (Most hot prospects jump after their junior years, when they have more contractual leverage.) Then he pitched three seasons in the Yankee minor leagues, level by level, slog by slog, slowly making his way to NYC. 

If he can improve in 2026 - that is, if Will Warren can be Will Warren - the Yankee rotation can survive until Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rondon and that 6'7" rookie who throws 103 mph can come around. 

We talk about the rookies and the role players. Will Warren is entering his arbitration year. He needs to be Will Warren. 

The Yankees have changed in subtle ways. It's still unclear whether the changes are for the better

And so it goes...  

The Yankees, still tiptoeing through feces in the George M. Steinbrenner Wastewater Treatment Facility, are awaiting answers from a winter of being frozen into place.

None will come soon. The wisdom behind standing pat - of bringing back last year's team, warts and all - won't be discerned for at least three months. 

But there are subtle changes within the matrix.

Spencer Jones homered in his first game, boosting hopes throughout the Yankiverse. Since then, he has failed to put a ball into play. Four strikeouts. One walk. 

He's unveiled a new toe-tap swing, developed over the winter and modeled after Ohtani. It's too soon to gauge success or failure. And it's worth remembering that last year, right around now, Jones trotted out another remodeled swing, and we were drooling with hope. 

We should not count out Jones. For starters, he shows the existential self-awareness to try and change. That he's trying new stances means that he knows the problem - he goddam strikes out too much - and he's adjusting. This is his life. Unless he changes, the Ks will kill his career. Lou Pinella used to say baseball was all about adjustments - pitchers, to the batters, and vice-versa. Well, Jones is trying. It can't happen in a week. Let's give him space. And let's keep him.

Jasson Dominguez is 2 for 5 with three strikeouts and a walk. Not bad. What's troubling, though, is the sense that he still looks naked and afraid in LF. 

Why is that? He's had a whole winter to shag fly balls. All he needed was somebody to hit fungoes, maybe 100 a day? and he should be approaching decency in the outfield. If he's still a defensive liability, the Yankees have the right to wonder. WTF?

It's clear now that, unless somebody gets injured, Dominguez will start the season at Scranton. That's because he cannot be trusted in the outfield. 

What an indictment of the Yankee farm system. And maybe of The Martian himself.

Ben Rice might yet be the Yankee hope. He is 2-for-3, and - as far as I can tell - he has not changed his stance or sit on the couch all winter. Already, he looks much more comfortable at 1B. 

Whatever he did this winter, it seems to have worked.

And so it goes.

Searching for meaning in a meaningless universe

Yesterday, as snow obliterated the homeland, the stand-pat Death Barge succumbed to the newly transmogrified Mets. 

Meaningless.

Ten gossamer thoughts:

1. The brain trust touted the works of Luis Gil and Cade Winquest, the Rule 5 pickup, but neither managed a scoreless outing against a lineup of farm show tool bits. The bar is low.

2. Nobody pitched lights out. Even Tim Hill gave up two hits, and Brendon Beck, punctuating the loss, was kicked around quite handily. 

3. Jose Caballero homered. Go figure. Last year, he slugged five. He turns 30 in August. SS is his for the taking. It's now or never.

4. Finishing at SS was 25-year-old Jonathan Ornelas, who kicked around last year between Texas and Atlanta. In a 32-game MLB career, he's hit .208. 

5. Neither Spencer Jones nor The Martian played. No prob. Game didn't matter. Still, we gotta see what they can do. To sit them is to punch their tickets to Scranton. 

6. OF Kenedy Corona, 25, is the early front runner for the James P. Dawson Best Rookie in Yankee Camp award, the most overlooked award in the history of sports. In his first game, Corona's diving catch quashed a rally. Yesterday, he homered. He could win a watch.

7. Mets played Benge, Bae, Suero, Arroyo, Reimer, Clifford, Schwartz... who are these people? 

8. In early January, John Sterling had a heart attack. It's been at least six weeks. Why was the world not notified? (And best wishes for a full recovery.)

9. Can't help but feel sorry for the Canadian hockey team. The U.S. has alternatives - Super Bowl, pro wrestling, game shows, Hollywood awards... Canada has hockey. 

10. Today, under two feet of snow, we are all Canadians.

No

 [Link to story]

 

Yanks experience their biggest s**t show since Game 5 of the 2024 World Series. And it's the real stuff.

Ever stress out over what seem to be colossal concerns, only to have a new problem suddenly put everything into place?

Here's a tidbit from Yankee camp, via The Athletic/NY Times.

Yeahp. A sewer line backed up, sending Major League crapola - the real deal, not a metaphor - to roam the George M Steinbrenner baseball complex in Tampa. Suddenly, for at least one day, all our bullpen worries vanished into the brown. Reports The Athletic:

A Yankees player said the sewage had initially soaked only the bathroom, but later it had begun to reach other areas of the clubhouse, which is mostly carpeted. Players often leave belongings, such as footwear and equipment, on the carpet.

“It’s a mess in there,” he said.

Yeahp. It's carpeted. 

I leave you to your thoughts.

It's tempting to call it an omen, a sign of what's to come. But while players sought to rescue their iPads, a few Yanks enjoyed a different kind of blowout. 

In a (thankfully) outdoor game, the Yankees scored 20 runs. against Detroit.

Once again, Spencer Jones is off to a hot start. He homered yesterday, a 408-foot shot to right, while playing CF and going 1-for-3 with a strikeout (his bugaboo.) What if Jones goes on a tear, forcing himself into the lineup? For him to get playing time in April, it would require at least two outfielders to go down with injuries. (Even then, they'd probably play cheap and hold him in Scranton, out of contract considerations.) Still, all the guy can do is keep hitting. He was the most intriguing prospect in the Yankee farm system last year. A few more HRs, and he'll be the most intriguing one in camp.

Aaron Judge hit two HRs, and three minor leaguers added one-offs. The biggest name (after Jones) would be Roderick Arias, a big ticket, high-profile Latino signee five years ago, whose career has been a bust. He went 2-for-3 with 4 RBIs. For all his issues - basically, he's never hit - Arias is still only 21, too young to be discarded. If he were to suddenly bloom, like red tide near a sewer output, the Yankees would have a trade surplus at SS, and I think Cashman would be frantic to make a deal, while his good fortune lasts.  

FWIW: The Martian went 1 for 1 with a walk and two runs scored. Another guy whose immediate future hinges on the health of the outfield.

Too bad nothing mattered. But yesterday, the Yankees faced a different kind of matter: 

Fecal matter. 

You could sign a decent bullpen arm for that

 

RIP, Maz

 

He was all glove, no hit, and finally got into the Hall, anyway. But he did hit the seventh game, bottom of the ninth home run in the 1960 Series that made Mantle weep in front of his locker.

Mazeroski said that saving 1,000 runs with your glove was just as good as knocking in 1,000 runs at the plate. He may have had something there.

Though, being a Yankees fan, I think it would be great if you could do both. But that's probably asking too much.

From Elmer to the Coleman boys, the first nothingness is in the books

Now and then, on days like this, we should remind ourselves that a win in late February is just as important as a win in early March.

Which is to say that both are steaming dregs of meaninglessness, sold to sunbaked snowbirds as they brown-up their precancerous pigmentations, featuring names that shalt be whispered once in the Yankiverse and then never heard again.

Let's consider the half-dozen glitches in the Matrix who pitched for the Yankees, in game one of the Grapefruit season.

Elmer Cruz Rodriguez, also known as Elmer Rodriguez, is one of the buzz boys of camp. He's 22, 6'3", hails from our 51st state (Venezuela) and came to the Yankees in what has been, thus far, a hideously lopsided trade. Two years ago, Brian Cashman traded Cruz-Rodriguez, Rodriguez - Elmer - to Boston for Carlos Naevez, a fine young catcher. As a result, the Yankee front office has an existential reason to promote, uh, Elmer, and we must consider the desire for Cashman to have this guy succeed. 

Yesterday, Elmer succeeded, sorta. He threw three scoreless innings, though not without help from a broken bat DP grounder and a magnificent diving catch in the outfield by Kenedy Corona, a fellow Venezuelan who sounds like a beer, but who is, in fact, a 25-year-old, glove-first farm urchin. If Corona doesn't make that catch, Elmer's first appearance would look entirely different. But it still wouldn't matter.

Jake Bird, the 30-year-old bust from last July's trade deadline, who collapsed so gloriously that, after being demoted to Scranton, he still couldn't get anybody out. This is another pitcher that Cashman acquired, and thus the brain trust will make sure he gets ample opportunities. He threw a scoreless inning.

 Kervin Castro, 27, another Venezuelan - sensing a trend? - who pitched a one-two-three inning. Once upon a time, at age 15, Castro supposedly hit 88 mph on the radar gun, then signed with the Giants for more money than you'll make in five years. He missed two seasons with Tommy John. He's a longshot.

Bradely Hanner, 27, who gave up a 2-run HR to Pete Alonso, the only scoring in the game. Last year, he pitched 49 innings at Triple A, with an ERA of 4.74. A righty. 

Carson Coleman, 27, of Lexington, Kentucky, winner of the Zolio Almonte Award for the star of the first game of spring. He fanned three batters in one inning, stamping his ticket for at least another outing. He's a Yankee farmhand who missed all of 2023 due to Tommy John, and who was returned to the franchise after being selected by the Rangers in the 2024 Rule 5 draft. You can't do much better than striking out the side. Interesting.

Dylan Coleman, 29, a 6'5" cog who threw a scoreless inning but gave up a hit, against the No-Names of Nobodyville. He's bounced around for 10 years. Hey, you never know.

Meaningless to us. But not to the pitchers and their scrapbook-keeping moms. O, the vagaries of February!

And so it begins, the 2026 exhibition season...

Get ready, everybody. 

The year's most meaningless game,  - a fraudulent pageant of nothingness, and a showcase to Greg Bird, Zolio Almonte, Jackson Melian and countless others - happens today in the toxic MAGA swamps of Sarasota.

The spring training opener. 

Aaron Judge won't make it. You don't compel a 6'7" giant to ride on a bus for 90 minutes. Same with Giancarlo, Oswaldo, and others. Among the pitchers to go are Elmer Rodriguez and Carlos Lagrange, the Hollywood "It" Girls of camp thus far. Whatever they do will be celebrated or mourned, and none of it will matter a single, solitary whit.

Here's what happened last year. The Yankees beat Tampa, 4-0, with Marcus Stroman getting the "win." (Fun fact: 

The Markster recorded three other wins in 2025.)

So, why bother? Honestly, I have no choice. It's molecular. Baseball is Pavlov. I am his poodle. We bark and bluster all winter. We condemn Prince Hal. We blast Cashman and his groveling gum-chewer, the Bane of Boone. We vow to quit. There are birds to watch, stamps to collect, TV news shows... Then comes the pop of a mitt, the crack of a bat, the sight of a millionaire pitcher jogging the outfield, and we follow the scent like a glue-sniffing frat hobo.

Tomorrow will bring us a box score. 

No redactions.

Here we go.

Spencer Jones looks "uncomfortable." Considering his looming disappearance, he should.

Yesterday, in BP, before a gaggle of Gammonites, Yankee OF Spencer Jones looked "uncomfortable." 

What does that mean? 

Let's go to the videotape thesaurus... 

Uncomfortable: "Ill at ease..." disquieting... self-conscious... awkward... queasy... bloated... gassy... irregular..." 

Basically, Jones swung at a few and missed, amplifying a narrative that has shaded his career: He strikes out too much. MLB pitchers will exploit his huge strike zone - itself, the size of a housing project - and the Yanks should deal him for whatever they can get, probably a handful of magic beans, especially when he resembles somebody in a probiotic supplement commercial.  

Okay, let's do some old-school blaspheme. Everybody knows it's wrong to compare anybody with the great Aaron Judge. Still, Jones - at a Judgian 6'6" and 240 - conjures just such nonsense. The pair's leviathan-like presences would have conjured a gleam in the late P.T. Barnum's eyes. And both struggled in their early years. 

Last year, at age 24, in Scranton, Jones hit 19 HRs, batted .274 and fanned 109 times.

In 2016, at age 24, in Scranton, Judge hit 19 HRs, batted .270 and fanned 98 times.

Uncanny, right? Both are highly touted first-round picks. But 10 years ago, nobody foresaw Judge becoming the greatest slugger of his generation, the man who would chase down Roger Maris. There were doubters, who thought his huge strike zone would be exploited.  

We know what will probably happen soon. Unless the overcrowded outfield suffers multiple injuries - (not an impossibility) - Jones will be sent to Scranton or traded for pitching.  

If I were a small market GM - (hello, Milwaukee, I'm ready!) - I'd keep Brian Cashman on speed-dial. And whenever one of our 30-something, grungy bullpen vets throws a particular nasty session, I'd call the Yankees, show the videotape, and offer the guy for Spencer Jones. 

I'm doing you a favor, I'd tell Cash. This guy, Jones, he strikes out way too much. He looks - well - uncomfortable. Here, have another prune Danish... 

Stanton's name could pop up in the Epstein files. As Camp Tamp opens, the top 10 crazy things you didn't know about Giancarlo.

Breaking Broken News: This week, Giancarlo Stanton reported to Yankee camp without tennis elbows, piano wire hammies and/or the heartbreak of psoriasis. For now, his "2026 Lost Time Due to Injury" total stands at zero. Zero!

What this means: Sometime, around May 30, a carbunkle will pop, a cog will go into reverse, and Giancarlo will have his annual season-ending MRI.

So goes the Yankee mating dance between hope and truth. The hope is that Stanton can play 100 games and hit in October. The truth is that, at any moment, he is a walking, chain reaction pile-up on the New York State Thruway. 

Yesterday, Stanton took BP, whacked a couple balls into the Gulf, and declined oxygen. That's huge. Guy is 36, slow as a city bus, and the most breakable Yank since Mickey. He stands beside Don Mattingly as the Yankee most likely to never ride down the Canyon of Heroes.  

So, this is it. If the 2027 season is to be canceled due to labor strife, that makes 2026 his Ring Year... or bust. 

On that note, here are 10 things I bet you didn't know about Giancarlo, starting with the clickbait headline.

1. He is represented by the Wasserman agency, which recently caught its fingers in the Jeffrey Epstein cookie jar. The founder, Casey Wasserman, is abruptly retiring, after his name popped up. Marilyn Monroe is in there. So is Elvis. It's a wide swath. Is anybody searching for "Giancarlo?"

2. Baseball Reference lists as his nicknames as "Bigfoot" and "Cruz." I have never, ever, heard him referred to as either.

3. In 2026, he is projected to hit 23 HRs, drive in 62 runs and bat .231. In other words, we'd be better off with Ben Rice.

4. This year, his career will officially tilt towards NY. Until now, he has eight seasons with the Marlins, eight with the Yankees.

5. With Florida, he hit 267 HRs and batted .268. With the Yankees, 186 and .244. Night and day.

6. His last triple came in 2018. For him to reach third on a batted ball, two outfielders need to be carted off in an ambulance.

7. In his career, he will be hard-pressed to reach the gold standard of 500 HRs. He sits at 453, which means he needs two more seasons. If next year gets canceled, he's done. 

8. In eight years with the Yankees, he has stolen six bases. (Thrown out only once!)

9. Hall of Fame? Well, his statistical astral twins include four:

10. Contractually, the Yankees have him this year and next, at $25 million per season, with $10 million each year to be paid by the Marlins. They actually have him through 2028, but there is a $10 million buyout option that they will surely invoke.

Ha! Gotcha with the Epstein reference, right? 

Above Average has a marginally important question to ask of all of YOU . . .

Hello Spew Believers:

I have the opportunity to see the

New York Yankees face off against

the Giants live at Oracle Park in

San Francisco on Saturday March 28th, 2026.

Should I go and report back from the game ?

PLEASE let me know your thoughts as . . .

I'M CONFLICTED.

Thank you in advance to each

and every one of you.

The five most intriguing players in Campa Tampa

It's on, the annual Yankee blood-hyping, which raises certain wild narratives like bubbles in Epstein's jacuzzi. 

Let us ponder the most intriguing players in Tampa and beyond.

1. Carlos Lagrange. Our new fantasy. He's Judge-sized (6'7", 247) and Martian aged (22).  He showed up, hitting 103 mph on the gun. Threw 120 innings last year, fanned 168, in the dreg leagues. He's on the Top 100 prospects lists. Yesterday, he threw against Judge, who homered and struck out. If he keeps reaching 102, he'll rise through the system like Ricochet Rabbit. The first great hope of spring. 

2. Spencer Jones. Face it, wherever he goes, this is the most intriguing prospect in the weight room. (Not necessarily for the better.) We all know about Jones - hits HRs, fans too often. He's 24. Can apparently play decent CF. Last year, in spring training, he hit 3 HRs in 32 ABs (.250. BA) Something about this guy: You look at him and dream. If he learns to hold off on one sucker pitch, if he figures out how to put his bat on the ball, he could be our CF through 2030. And if we trade him, I believe the Yankees will rue the deal for years to come. 

3. Ben Rice. Remember last February, when Rice appeared as the most muscled-up Yankee in camp? Well, it worked. He had a great year, and every Yank fan secretly believes - even if we don't say it aloud - that Rice should NOT platoon at 1B, and that he could hit 35 HRs and become an all-star. If Rice improves on defense, as I'm sure he will he could also become a lifelong Yankee. How many of them do we see? 

4. Nick Torres. Huh? you say. Who's he? Well, Torres is a 32-year-old nobody, who plays 1B, where I just christened Ben Rice as King Cheese. So, shoot me. All Torres did last year was win the Mexican League MVP. The Yankees recently signed him, signaling his lifelong dream. I realize the Mexican League is not the Majors. It might not even be Triple A. But MVP is MVP, and this could be his moment. Some guys bloom late. Hey, ya gotta believe!

5. Bryce Harper. Didja see the interview he gave yesterday? He can't wait to hit in front of Aaron Judge in the World Baseball Classic. Harper grew up a Yank fan, his dream being to wear pinstripes. For the last four years, he SHOULDA have been hitting in front of Judge. (Manny Machado too.) Next month, when Harper and Judge team up, close your eyes and imagine what the Yankees coulda been, if they had the right owner. He's my favorite shoulda-been-a-Yankee in baseball. How, how, HOW did we let it happen?  

Please don't make me know this. I can't. I'm begging you. Don't tell me. Please don't tell me. Please. Please.

 

You know it's all about that gear.

 

I was alarmed when I saw some interview with Aaron Boone in spring training the other day—that is, more alarmed than I usually am when I see any interview with Aaron Boone—and it seemed that a fungus was eating his hat.

Turned out it was just the latest design for the annual, Yankees' "springcaps," as modeled by this puckish fellow here. 

The design? Assorted flora around...a grapefruit. Get it? Grapefruit for the grapefruit league. Those teams that train in Arizona have some sort of cactus design on their springcaps. 

Sigh.

As the wonderful Meghan Trainor might have sung, back in her more wonderfully zaftig days:

You know it's all about that gear

Bout that gear

Bout that gear

No pitching

All about the gear

No pitching—

These little dandies are selling online for a mere $55.99—quite a bargain for a baseball cap that Carmen Miranda could have embraced.  

I'm bringin' the whole team back

Go ahead an' tell them bitchin' fans that

No, I'm just playin'

C'mon an' buy my hat—

The promised fury of the fans has been sufficient—at least for now—to ward off the abomination of the "City Connects" unis (Gear that poses as a social conscience!) so far. It's pretty hilarious to see the Mets and Red Sox in that ugly crap. But somehow, their front offices seem able to assemble teams while peddling the gear.

Not so much your New York Yankees.

Yeah it's pretty clear

We ain't goin' anywhere

But Hal can make it, make it

While the Sox an' Jays we chase

With all the wrong guys in all the wrong places—

You know it's all about that gear

Bout that gear

Bout that gear...

Current Top Ten Yankee hypes, ranked.

10. Carlos Rodon "can't wait" to return!

9. Gerrit Cole return "ahead of schedule!"

8. Jake Bird looks "nasty!"

7. Ryan Weathers throwing 98.5 mph!

6. Prospect Elmer Rodriguez is "turning heads!"

5. Judge hitting line drives, nearly kills BP pitcher!

4. Fernando Cruz "brings energy on the mound and on the mic!"

3. Yanks sign 17-year-old Mexican pitcher Felipe Hernandez! ETA: 2030.

2. Yanks sign 16-year-old catcher Marko Morua, "first-ever Hungarian!" ETA: eternity.

1. Carlos Legrange "throws 102 mph!"

Tidbits from Tampa we need to see

Ah, the vagaries of spring training. This is how it should be...

Monday: 

A team spokesman confirmed that veteran LF Bob Terwilliger lost his cell phone after a brief fracas Sunday. A clubhouse official said the device will "turn up somewhere.” Terwilliger, who refuses to talk with reporters, declined comment.

Backup catcher Manny Estrada says he won’t make the sign of the cross before at-bats in upcoming exhibition games. “It’s just spring,” the former Brewer says. “If this were the regular season, I’d be praying.”

Lefty specialist Al Carter has a big, festering pimple on his hip, which teammates find disquieting. "That's why we wear pants," he said yesterday. According to ESPN's Skippy Worth, Carter plans to get his teeth cleaned, which will be a first.  

Veteran minor leaguer Ange Swink wowed teammates by eating 50 hard-boiled eggs in one half-hour. Last year, Swink missed six weeks after a light bulb exploded in his stomach.

Bob Terwilliger, in day three of his media blackout, missed the team bus and had to walk a half mile to practice. Several reporters said they would have given him a ride, if he’d been willing to ask them.

Wednesday

If you see him, wish Dominican prospect Arlindo Vasquez a happy birthday five times. His U.S. Visa has been corrected. He’s now 31.

Pitcher Rob Bell says Jesus Christ will return at the all-star break and bring universal judgment to mankind. Bell is recovering from a rattlesnake bite. 

Bob Terwilliger’s phone turned up at the media center yesterday. Reporters say Terwilliger can have it... if he asks. 

Thursday

First-baseman Hal Grimbel has 3,500 songs on his classic, still-functioning iPod. Word to the wise: Don’t get him started about the Freelance Whales.

Zeke Paltrow has a slight bruise on his left pinkie. He'll be out until August.

Knuckleballer Geoff Turley got a surprise yesterday. His ex-wife, Trudy, the former Miss Buffalo, said he suffers from severe penile disfunction. Of his ex, Turley said, “Cal Ripken wouldn’t have lasted a week.”

Someone broke into the media center Wednesday and stole Bob Terwilliger’s cell phone, scrawling obscenities about reporters on the wall.

Friday

Third baseman Robbie Glint recently rented the 2003 movie Dogville, starring Nicole Kidman, and was impressed with the set design and thematic symbols.

Bob Terwilliger has broken his media silence. One day after the outfielder’s cell phone was burglarized from the media tent, a reporter dialed its number, and Terwilliger answered. Asked if he knew Jeffrey Epstein, Terwilliger shouted an obscenity and hung up.

Is Max Fried the Yankees' "Quad God"?

 

Word comes from Florida that Max Fried, the reigning ace of the Yankees' pitching staff—well, right now, about the entirety of the Yankees' pitching staff—is still upset over his awful start against the Blue Jays in the playoffs last year, and is using it to "motivate" himself this season.

Uh-huh.

Here is where today's athletes separate themselves from the rest of us. We mere mortals might have assumed that the $31.5 million a year that Mr. Fried makes would have been motivation enough, but no siree. Fried will be hell-bent on avenging that disastrous, embarrassing outing, when he surrendered 7 earned runs in less than 4 innings and essentially ended the Yanks' postseason hopes.

Well, Maxxie must have been motivating like crazy throughout his career, because he has generally been an enormous flop in October, going a lifetime 2-6 in 14 playoff starts and 22 appearances, along with a blown save, and an ERA of 5.31.

Motivation, schmotivation. With everything on the line, Max resembles nothing so much as that team of walking—well, falling—nervous breakdowns now representing us at the Olympics.

One great U.S. athlete after another, invariably described as "the greatest ever," "completely invincible," "best in the world," and "boffo, baby, boffo!" (all right, I made that last one up), has not merely lost, but usually fallen flat on their faces.

The most prominent, of course, has been "the Quad God"—real name, Ilya Kuryakin—but it's been about the same for such Olympic can't-misses as Chloe Kim, Lindsey Vonn, and Mikaela Schiffrin, leaving one gold after another lying in the ice, snow, or what have you.

American athletes, in fact, have been falling down or choking up in such profusion that one wonders if they have not secretly signed up to advertise some medical service or emergency room, once these Olympics finally end.

Maybe a group shot, with all of them saying, "Once the Olympics were over, I was airlifted straight to NYU/Langone for MY rehab! You should, too!"

Or even better, perhaps, maybe some mental health group rate. 

"Under pressure? Hey, I hear ya. Come see our trusted psychological professionals before you find yourself picking the ice chips out of your teeth.!"

I kid, I kid. But boy, it's just too painful to watch anymore—for the psychic toll, even more than the physical.

So it will be with our Maxxie, I fear.  

Yes, the man has had some occasional, postseason successes. He is most renowned, perhaps, for pitching six shutout innings in the Braves' 7-0 romp over Houston to clinch the 2021 World Series—something law-abiding baseball fans everywhere could admire. 

And his first, October start for your New York Yankees consisted of 6 1/3 innings against the BoSox last year...in a game we eventually lost.

But that's about it. 

The only time that Max Fried, ace of our staff, has got through the seventh inning in a playoff game, was 7 shutout innings against Cincinnati, in an NLDS game...back in 2020. Which should tell us something.

Now 32, Fried has proved a delicate soul on the mound, never pitching as many as 200 innings in a season. He tends to weaken as the season goes on—as he did for us last year, his ERA rising from a spectacular, 1.92 to 3.26, from June 25th to August 16th.  

He then seemed to right himself, finishing strong...before his October flop. 

Hey, I don't say this is any personal failing. The man has been taught to pitch this way, no doubt by any number of the nattering nabobs now left in charge of major-league pitching staffs. You leave it all out there for six innings, throw as hard as you can, miss bats...and then a first-class bullpen picks you up.

Except...our wonderful GM forgot to provide us with any such thing this year. Or even really much of one last year. Had Max Fried been signed to play on, say, those 1998-2000 Yankees teams with maybe the best all-around bullpen ever assembled, he would be lights out.

Now—as our designated ace—with no one behind him and no one in the pen, the pressure for him to go long, consistently, is going to be unbearable. Look for another slump or even a breakdown, as October comes early. 

And be sure to buy the Quad God's new self-help book, Serenity Now.

 

Attack of the unheralded and undervalued Yankee breakout prospects

Have you heard about the tidal wave of under-appreciated Yankee prospects, soon to overwhelm the Gulf of America coastline?

With respect to fellow bloggers, whom I read faithfully, everywhere across Tampa, it's raining potential breakout Yankee prospects. These are the young - (twentysomething, anyway) - lug nuts who, if they hit .350 in April or throw a shutout in May, will abruptly vault onto the Top 20 Prospect pig lists, to be endlessly hyped by us, the hyperest of  hypers.

I believe that's why the Yankees face their current crisis.

Every winter and July 31 deadline, they trade multi-prospect packages for former all-stars, who have overstayed their welcomes in places like Miami, Colorado or Pittsburgh. In the 2020s, the front office came to realize that, unless a traded player becomes a major star, it will pay no price for dealing away young talent.

When all is said and done, the ever-shrinking platoon of Gammonites - whittled to a handful by the media's trillionaire oligarchs - will not squawk about a JP Sears, a Greg Wissert, a Thairo Estrada, a Carlos Narvaez, or anybody else who goes elsewhere and becomes a legitimate MLB player. 

Last month, Brian Cashman dealt four no-name prospects for Ryan Weathers. There was no outcry, no questioning of the price tag. In his early years as GM, Cashman notably avoided such deals, fearing a career-killing misstep. He'd never allow ex-Yanks to go to the Mets or Redsocks. Now, it happens regularly. And Cashman knows: When the Yankees trade another bundle, there'll always a new group to fill the Top 20 list. The "potential breakouts."    

But but BUT... the Yankees have a problem. By hyping one or two prospects relentlessly, they annually paint themselves into a corner. They cannot trade their Number One prospect without blowback. They're stuck with him. Anthony Volpe can have three rotten years, but he's still their golden boy. Look at this week's reaction to the idea that Jasson Dominguez - the Martian - might be ticketed to Scranton. The fans have waited seven years for him. Now, traded for a bullpen cog? Say it ain't so.

I believe the Yankees are one or two players shy of taking the AL East. You see the infield, the rotation, the bullpen. There is no free agent out there. And having cratered their farm system, they have only their top prospects to deal. The thing about "potential breakout" prospects - they're always a month away.

Wait... The Dow is over 50,000 right now. The S&P at almost 7,000, and the Nasdaq smashing records. THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT.

With all this talk of Cash and Bubbles Boone, we mustn't forget about this man . . .

 HAROLD ZIEG

S T E I N B R E N N E R

"ZIEG HAL"

(as his college PALS use to say)