We long for box scores that tell us what the hell happened and, maybe, what the hell is coming...
What we see is the form-fitting black box known as Will Warren.
Yesterday, he pitched into the third, gave up a run, fanned four. By most respects, a typical Will Warren impersonation of Will Warren, reading from the book of Will Warren - (abridged, of course) - with an introduction by Will Warren.
Not bad. Not great. Vintage Will Warren.
Here's what happened...
First Inning: Strikeout. Triple. Single (run scores.) Line out. Strikeout.
Second inning: Single. Infield hit. Fly out. Strikeout. Fly out.
Third Inning: Fly out. Strikeout.
And Boone brings the hook.
Overall, a descent Will Warren outing. In fact, if you're following Will Warren, you gotta at least give the guy the second meaningless batter of the first meaningless inning of the first meaningless exhibition game of 2026.
If Will Warren can be the Yankees' fifth starter, devouring the innings that a fifth starter needs to consume, he could reduce the pressure on Luis Gil and Cam Schlittler, who is already missing time. He won't become an ace. He won't become a liability.
And that, comrades, is what Will Warren does.
Last year, he threw 162 innings, went 9-8 with an ERA of 4.44. Meh, you say.
He's 26, which is young for anybody from Branson, Missouri.
Among starters, Warren is an old-school outlier. He pitched four years in college. (Most hot prospects jump after their junior years, when they have more contractual leverage.) Then he pitched three seasons in the Yankee minor leagues, level by level, slog by slog, slowly making his way to NYC.
If he can improve in 2026 - that is, if Will Warren can be Will Warren - the Yankee rotation can survive until Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rondon and that 6'7" rookie who throws 103 mph can come around.
We talk about the rookies and the role players. Will Warren is entering his arbitration year. He needs to be Will Warren.
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13 comments:
I watched the first two innings of yesterday’s game. Here’s my takeaway:
The IBS (sorry) The ABS Challenge System is quite silly and I’m not quite sure that I like its design and implementation.
Ugh.
I haven't watched much or paid much attention when I have watched. Technically, I suppose that means I wasn't actually watching, since watching is key to that.
But, I digress. I haven't noticed or seen the ABS system in action, but I'll take AA's word for it. As long as the Air Bags deploy properly, it could be a good thing.
By the way, Will Warren is the backwards name of a great actor from the Pre-Code days (and beyond)--Warren William. Played a terrific cad and also took on the role of Perry Mason for a while. I don't think he could pitch, though.
Neither could Raymond Burr
Although Burr could do many, many things.
I will say that the ABS Challenge System is ripe for some comedy.
Will Warren.
Just saying him name asks the very question that we all should be asking . . .
Will Warren ?
Will Warren what you say ?
Exactly my point and soon (very soon if I can find the time) to be a popular new Yankees t-shirt.
I like the ABS. Sick of all the times when a player gets jobbed, especially Judge and Jazz. It's a very quick delay.
What I don't like is that they seem to have taken away the box showing the strike zone when the ball is being pitched. The one that we use to yell, "That was a ball!"
I suspect that it's a technical issue in that the new ABS strike zone is calibrated to the actual hitter and the old box was more of a general thing so they aren't able to give us an accurate box to look at.
Hopefully they fix that.
Will Warren or Won't He?
If wishes were flying backwards pigs, every team would always have enough starting pitching.
And as always fuck HAL.
Maybe it will also bring the home plate umpires and batters closer, bonding in ways that were not possible until this season.
You see, everyone makes mistakes. And it can be really hard for these men to admit that they were wrong.
Anger is such a negative emotion. Forgiveness and . . . love. It is the better way.
It's kinda challenging to hug with all that gear on - but I'm convinced that we'll see one or two embraces before October.
Polymarket, anyone ?
I’ve long been a proponent of an ABS system. This one may need some tweaking or outright changing since the lords of baseball could fuck up a wet dream. 🛌😴💤
Agreed (both Doug and the Kryptonian)
So the pitch clock speeded up the game and the ABS slows the game down. Why can’t the umpires get a signal from ABS directly? Isn’t that what we all want?
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