Tidbits from Tampa we need to see

Ah, the vagaries of spring training. This is how it should be...

Monday: 

A team spokesman confirmed that veteran LF Bob Terwilliger lost his cell phone after a brief fracas Sunday. A clubhouse official said the device will "turn up somewhere.” Terwilliger, who refuses to talk with reporters, declined comment.

Backup catcher Manny Estrada says he won’t make the sign of the cross before at-bats in upcoming exhibition games. “It’s just spring,” the former Brewer says. “If this were the regular season, I’d be praying.”

Lefty specialist Al Carter has a big, festering pimple on his hip, which teammates find disquieting. "That's why we wear pants," he said yesterday. According to ESPN's Skippy Worth, Carter plans to get his teeth cleaned, which will be a first.  

Veteran minor leaguer Ange Swink wowed teammates by eating 50 hard-boiled eggs in one half-hour. Last year, Swink missed six weeks after a light bulb exploded in his stomach.

Bob Terwilliger, in day three of his media blackout, missed the team bus and had to walk a half mile to practice. Several reporters said they would have given him a ride, if he’d been willing to ask them.

Wednesday

If you see him, wish Dominican prospect Arlindo Vasquez a happy birthday five times. His U.S. Visa has been corrected. He’s now 31.

Pitcher Rob Bell says Jesus Christ will return at the all-star break and bring universal judgment to mankind. Bell is recovering from a rattlesnake bite. 

Bob Terwilliger’s phone turned up at the media center yesterday. Reporters say Terwilliger can have it... if he asks. 

Thursday

First-baseman Hal Grimbel has 3,500 songs on his classic, still-functioning iPod. Word to the wise: Don’t get him started about the Freelance Whales.

Zeke Paltrow has a slight bruise on his left pinkie. He'll be out until August.

Knuckleballer Geoff Turley got a surprise yesterday. His ex-wife, Trudy, the former Miss Buffalo, said he suffers from severe penile disfunction. Of his ex, Turley said, “Cal Ripken wouldn’t have lasted a week.”

Someone broke into the media center Wednesday and stole Bob Terwilliger’s cell phone, scrawling obscenities about reporters on the wall.

Friday

Third baseman Robbie Glint recently rented the 2003 movie Dogville, starring Nicole Kidman, and was impressed with the set design and thematic symbols.

Bob Terwilliger has broken his media silence. One day after the outfielder’s cell phone was burglarized from the media tent, a reporter dialed its number, and Terwilliger answered. Asked if he knew Jeffrey Epstein, Terwilliger shouted an obscenity and hung up.