 Yankee stats over last 15 days |
That's what we need to start calling Max Schuemann... because, not only does he play smartly, but the way the Yankiverse overlooks him, you'd think he bats inside the Cone of Silence. (Note: This is a generational joke from the brilliant sixties TV series Get Smart; if you are younger than 70, you probably don't get it. Sorry about that, Chief.)
But but BUT... I'm talking about Max Schuemann's recent hitting spree: Two HRs in 18 ABs, and a .333 average over the last 15 days.
This can't last, right? He'll soon crash - a Zolio Almonteian 0-for-32 awaits him, right?
Well, in the meantime, wouldja believe that this guy never posts a bad plate appearance? Wouldja believe he never embarrasses himself? Wouldja believe the next Cabby? How about the next Clay Bellinger? The next Oswaldo...?
So, who is Maxwell Carter Schueman? Ten fun facts about the Yankees most mysterious utility widget.
1. He's 29 and was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan. In 2014, his junior year, he was named to the Kalamazoo area high school "Dream Team."
2. He attended Eastern Michigan University for three years.
3. Oakland selected him in the 20th round of the 2018 draft.
4. Like everybody, he missed a year in the minors due to Covid.
5. He has played for the Midland RockHounds, the Las Vegas Avaiators and - my fave - the Lansing Lugnuts. He set a Lugnut record by stealing five bases in one game.
6. He reached the majors in 2024 after an injury to Brent Rooker.
7. For Oakland, as a rookie, he played in 133 games, hitting .220 with 7 HRs.
8. He was Oakland's nominee for the 2024 "Heart and Hustle Award," given to the MLB player who most embodies the "values, spirit and traditions of the game."
9. Last year, he regressed. Badly. Over 101 games with the A's, he batted a below- Mendoza .197 with 2 HRs.
10. Last February, the A's waived him, then traded him to the Yankees for a Dominican pitcher named Luis Burgos. (He is 20, currently of the Stockton Ports, with an ERA of 8.57.)
But I like that 2024 Heart and Hustle thing. About three weeks ago, he walked on a 3-2 count, shedding his batting armor and jogging to first, while the catcher and umpire awaited the Ball/Strike replay challenge. The pitch turned out to be ball four. By then, Schuemann was halfway to first. Maxwell Smart. Wouldja believe it?
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30 comments:
Buck Henry and Mel Brooks.
Barbara Feldon....meowwwwwww....
I'm so old I remember when Yankee infielders could play the infield. Man, those were the days.
Hats off to Weathers. He survived the incompetence. And let's just say Tim Hill had a bad night. The poor bastard needs a rest.
Spoeaking of which, why is the All-Star game so fucking late? Didn't it used to be at the midpoint of the season? Now it's pretty far after it.
Mr. Manfred, can you field that question?
Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part 3:
The Martian is hitting a bit better of late.
Bellinger is hitting better of late.
Wells is hitting somewhat better of late. (Low bar.)
Bednar is looking better of late.
Rice is hitting better of late.
The starters are looking a wee bit better of late.
It's easier to be a little tiny bit more cheerful of late.
I still have the virus I came down with in New York. The wife says the last time I had this, it was the same: a long, long, long time. (Apollgies, G. Harrison.)
I had a brief encounter once with Barbara Feldon in the early 90s. Remind me to tell it here one day.
Zeigfreid reformed his evil ways and spent his golden years commanding the flagship in a fleet of cruise ships.
The true heir to the throne, Rickie Ricardo, on the English language radio call last night. If that can't fix them, nothing can (Dave's fine, but he's no Rickie).
Chisolm stood at the plate so long when he his home run last night I thought the ball was foul.
Ricky is so much better. He's a reincarnation of the Master. In Spanish.
"Of late," JM, reminds me that it gets late early out there...feel better.
No team with Chisolm will ever win it all. So it was written, so it shall be.
KAOS has become more mainstream and insidious than in the 1960s. They've taken over American institutions such as the NY Yankees. The entire organization is full of KAOS. Incidentally, Agent 13 now plays second base for the team-he has switched sides.
Anne Hathaway is out there for those of you too young to remember Barbara Feldon.
JM - I recommend that you get better immediately.
Rufus - Thanks for unlocking and giving me back my account.
I would never suggest a Trump Tower Tap Room excursion - but well played.
Rufus - Ship's doctor not Captain.
Ah, back in the days when Barbra Feldon and Diana Rigg fueled my adolescent spy girl fantasies. Good times.
Here is a great tribute to Mrs. Peel using music by Sacramento's own Cake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idtYckLIZnI
Mmmmmm CAKE
Doug, thanks. You're right, Murray was the Captain. Zeigfried got all the tail.
Just looked up Happy Hanes/Moriarty/Murray. Forgot he was in so many well known parts.
Operation Petticoat!
WHERE IS FELIX HEREDIA WHEN YOU NEED HIM?
Trade JazZ
Trade him now
Do it
Little known fact I'm sorry I know.
Dick Gautier (Hymie) was the original Conrad Birdie on Broadway in Bye Bye Birdie.
When things were rotten
Although I always think of him being in what seemed like every episode of love American style. The epitome of trashy 70s TV 📺
"...missed it by that much!"
What virus? Covid-19?
Yeah, Schueman, there's that 29 yr old that will play every day until the end of the season. Soon, they'll send Jasson Dominguez back down to the minors because "there is no place for him in the lineup with all these great players we have" and "we want Dominguez to play everyday, not just sit on the bench". This time, Cashman didn't have to dumpster dive outside of the organization. He had one of these 29 yr olds right here. What can you do, except laugh?
On the other side of the labor dispute, they'll probably have the All-Star game in early September. Just because....
Stylin'. Gotta have style. Next time, maybe he'll take a wide enough turn at first base to drop into the 1st base dugout.
When the season started, did you ever dream that the Yankee outfield would be Bellinger LF; Grisham CF; Schuemann RF? And I suppose DH will be Goldschmidt. The worse he hits, the more at-bats he'll get until the end of the season. There is an inverse relationship with effectiveness and playing time on these Cashman Yankee teams. I noticed it back when they had Stephen Drew here.
The ball that Jizz Chasm launched, looked like a hanging slider/sweeper, waist high and mid-in. That's really the only pitch he can hit, with that trigger happy home run pull swing. He has the power to hit it out the other way. Doesn't have to pull everything, but he does. Doesn't have to try to uppercut everything to "launch", but he does.
I still can't get over that pitch. If Joe DiMaggio saw that by a Yankee pitcher, he'd take that pitcher aside after the game and tell him sternly: "We don't make those kinds of mistakes here. This is the major leagues, kiddo."
I was a huge fan of the show’s open…
(get Schmart)
So The Martian is hitting better from the right side this year than the left side. Got a single to lead off the 9th to kick set things up for Jizz Chasm.
If Goldschmidt had been on the bench yesterday, I'm sure Ba-Boone would've pulled Dominguez to pinch hit the toothless Goldschmidt in the 9th against the lefty pitcher. Ba-Boone did just that in one of the Boston games just recently. Goldschmidt got a fielder's choice RBI infield grounder against Gunslinger Chapman, if I recall correctly. The Yankees tied it up but ended up losing the game in walk off style at Fenway. Now, it's true that Dominguez had looked dreadful at the plate in that game and for most of the Fenway series, but if you want to develop a young player, you have to let him play, come good or come bad. Boone is a fucking clown. Cashman is a fucking clown. HAL is a fucking asshole for perpetuating this clownery, with no end in sight.
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