Baseball is heading for a free agent blitz, and the Yankees have $2.6 billion to spend. Will it matter?

According to The Athletic, the sports page for today's Gray Lady, the aftermath of the upcoming midterm elections - along with riots, floods and funny presidential burp vocalizations - will feature an MLB "free agent frenzy," as owners lock down rosters before the lockdown. 

If so, we could soon get a glimpse of Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner's new, ultra-fortified money pile, following the $2.6 billion infusion from Apollo Sports Capital. That's cash on the barrelhead, people. Mad money.  With the Dodgers facing fraud investigations, and the Mets and Phillies still licking their wounds, the Yankees could - for a month, anyway - bestride the sports world as the swinging dick of dollars.   

Remember: It was the winter of 2009 when Hal shelled out for Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett - a $200 million spending spree - leading to our last championship. 

Dare we dream? 

Nah. There's a reason we call him "Food Stamps."

Still, with all that money... all that cash... here's what we could buy:

1. Tarik Skubal. Nothing complicated. He's the best player available. Get him. Don't buy into the bullshit that we already have enough pitching. We don't. He's our Sabathia.  

2. Michael King. Plan B, if Skubal signs elsewhere. And even if Skubal signs with us, King would be our AJ Burnett.

3. Sonny Gray. This won't happen. There is no universe where the Yankees would make up with this guy. But money is a healing balm, and signing this guy would kick Boston in the teeth, which is always pleasurable.

4. Brandon Lowe. Two-time All-Star 2B, which would keep us from having to depend on You Know Who. (Guy hit 35 HRs this year for Pittsburgh; he'll be 32.)

5. Teruaki Sato, third baseman from Japan. Our Hideki Matsui? Isn't it time for an Asian star?  

Either way, let's get to the bidding. These well-played world series games - with hustling, and defensive gems and timely hitting - God, they'll bore us to death. Onward to the post-midterm riots, everybody! Those flat screen TVs aren't going to loot themselves!