Judge Report...

A new level of concern about the health of Aaron Judge has surface with the revelation that Luis Severino is now dead meat.

So here is an update:

1.  He won't be seeing Grapefruit League action , at least, until after the Monday "off-day."

2.  " The Bomber's slugger" is working his way back from a nagging shoulder injury ( did this, maybe, surface last Fall?"

3.  "He has been shut down from throwing and hitting" - note;  this "official" Yankee comment seems contradicted by the following Yankee statements:

     -  The depth of his soft tossing has increased

     -  He is in the cage, swinging at soft tosses

4.  Aaron has said; "I have no concern about getting the at bats I need to be ready for the season opener."

Editor's notes:

     -  that does not say he expects to be 100% healthy.  It just says there is still enough time for him to get 30-60 at bats ( as he misses game after game, do the math and assess the credibility of this belief).

     - Luis Severino also recently expressed confidence that his " tweak" was no big deal.  Then, after a year of ineffectiveness, followed by an off season of rest, someone finally did the correct medical procedure necessary to view the damage.

I have to ask;  what were the "doctors" doing prior to yesterday?  Having him stick out his tongue and say, " aaah?"

Why didn't they do the proper test in the first place?

Was Hal trying to save on the team's health insurance premiums?

Does any one on the Yankees have a brain?

The Yankees have mastered the art of injuring players while they are out with injuries

Used to be, when a player went on the DL, you could target a return date and figure nothing would go wrong in the meantime. The good thing about injuries: You had reinforcements on the way.

Pavano. Bird. Ellsbury. Stanton. Severino...

Used to be, when a wave of injuries hit, you chalked it up to the usual grind; in the end, they would average-out. For every period of tweaks and tears, you could expect a spate of good health, while other teams suffered. 

Pavano. Bird. Ellsbury. Stanton. Severino...

Used to be, an MRI revealed the problem. 

Pavano. Bird. Ellsbury. Stanton. Severino...

Used to be.  

Not anymore. 

Let the record show that the fabled 2020 New York Yankees "won the winter" of 2019-20. Everything went our way. We signed Gerrit Cole. Boston traded Mookie Betts. Houston became a pariah. Then, as soon as players started reporting, the worm turned. Ever since camp opened, it's been one Yankee setback after another - and no end in sight. We entered as the odds-on favorite to win the 2020 World Series. Another injury or two - which now seems inevitable - and the so-called "Death Star" will be back at normalcy, chasing another wild card, as it did throughout the last, wretched decade.

In a way, yesterday's news about Luis Severino explains Hal Steinbrenner's brief surge in generosity, in the signing of Cole. Hal knew what we didn't: That Severino was feeling forearm pain, that James Paxton's back was barking, and that the Yankees had no legitimate No. 1 starter. 

Thus, they had no choice but to sign Cole, which meant jettisoning Didi Gregorius, Austin Romine, Dellin Betances and Edwin Encarnacion - and then holding onto J.A. Happ, despite conventional wisdom that expected his contract to fly out the door. 

Last night, I hope Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman went out drinking. Surely, he needed to hit a bar, cut loose, sing kareoke. Maybe Gordon Lightfoot's Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. ("Fellahs, it's been good ta know yaaaa...") Cash earned a night off, because today, he's back to the reality of Luis Cessa, Jonathan Loaisiga, Michael King, Deivi Garcia and Clarke Schmidt - pitchers who should be competing for the 25th and 26th roster slots - as the fourth and fifth starters.

Suddenly, the horizon looks pocked with desperate trades and murky free agents. Suddenly, Andrew Cashner looms, reminding us of the days of Sidney Ponson. Meanwhile, we find ourselves exhaustively studying Nick Tropeano, who pitched two scoreless innings yesterday. He's 29 and last year pitched at Triple A, with an ERA near 6.00. Suddenly, we're back to turning over rocks, talking hopefully of a "next man up" surge of pitchers - no-names who come to our rescue - something so rare that it is almost unprecedented. 

A month ago, we looked like the deepest team in the AL, if not all of baseball. 

We didn't know. 

Now, we do. 

Pavano. Bird. Ellsbury. Stanton. Severino...

Just in.....

Early this morning the Yankees put out one of their pre-packaged lies.

Now I know the truth...

Luis is gone for the year.  TJ surgery.

What a shock.  All last season they took the " rest and do nothing " approach.  Same with the off-season.

Why did the fans all know last year?  Why did we say, "do the surgery now and gain a year."

Now the brilliant Yankee decision-makers waste:

$10 million last year
$10 million this year

And by the time he is ready to pitch again ( in late 2021 at best ) ;  he will have to be re-signed.  And the Yankees will let him walk to Boston, where he will become a reliable super star.

And no one is going to "pay a price " for this idiotic management of a key resource?

Cashman still gets to rappel down buildings and bang waitresses in Tennessee?

Nothing happens?  No accountability?

Oh that's right.  He works for Hal.

The Judge Report - For Those Who Don't Find Politics and the Mexican Beer Virus Sufficiently Boring

" Aaron Judge graduated to " soft toss" Monday."

" He's going to hit here in the cage, soft toss and then do his tee work."  Editorial note;  this statement is incoherent ). 

" He'll progress and we'll take it kind of slow."

" We are in no rush to get him into Grapefruit League competition."  ( manager Boone)

Editorial note;  When there are only three games remaining in Grapefruit League play, this comment takes on new meaning.

History;  Judge was shut down " about a week" before the Yankees began full-squad workouts.  "About a week" can be any length of time in today's society of lying.

Recent Medical: " His MRI showed no new damage."  So, Mr. Boone, how much old damage is there?

Get used to it folks, this is the kind of news we shall be hearing about Judge, Severino, Hicks,  Paxton and those  ( soon ) to be named. 

We must prepare the back-ups to perform yeoman duty....again.  These injury prone guys will remain damaged and fragile.

The non performing superstars must be reduced to " cloud memory."  Only those able and ready to play merit interest. 

Searching for meaning when - ah, forgetaboutit - there is none

Don't mean to be gloomy-doomy here, but should we start pondering the impact of a coronavirus pandemic on the 2020 season? It's a nasty flu bug - not Thanos, destroyer of worlds - but once it creeps into America, which now seems almost inevitable, MLB attendance would likely plummet (though not as much, you'd think, as with indoor events like the NBA and NHL.) This could be year of YES and the Radio Network Driven by Jeep. (Note: The Master must immediately be enveloped within a protective, sterile cone, and not emerge until the danger has passed.) This could be the year of watching the Yankees on TV, which - to Boomers, anyway - is every year, am I right?

Anyway, the Death Star yesterday continued to slog, and here are some box car takeaways: 

A: Clint Frazier now 0-4 this spring. Worse, he grounded into a DP. Let's hope this doesn't become a thing, because if/when Crimson Thunder gets thrown back to Scranton - his fifth stint in the Anthracite capital - they better confiscate his shoelaces. Of course, until Aaron Judge returns - (he's yet to swing a bat) - there's hope for Frazier and his granite glove. 

B: Jordan Montgomery followed Gerrit "Clean" Cole with two sweetly efficient innings. Dare we believe the loss of a Luis Severino could so be instantly remedied? No. Monty won't replace Sevy - at least not the ace we fantasize - but he could fill the fourth rotation slot. Remember: His rookie year, they were comparing him to a young Andy Pettitte. All we'll need from our fourth and fifth starters will be six innings and a lead. From there, it should be a lock-down, clockwork bullpen, which would be rested at least once a week when Cole pitches his shutout. Right?

C: Speaking of bullpens, you know what? I'd totally forgotten Jonathan Holder, the Holder of Holds. Last year, he was easily forgettable - either lights out, or the reincarnation of Colter Bean, mostly the latter. He pitched 41 innings with an ERA above 6.00. Ugh. But Holder is only 26, and guys like him seem to peak when they hit 28, grow a beer gut and turn mean. Who knows? If we use a bullpen starter, Holder might be the guy. (Also, how 'bout that Adonis Rosa? Three batters, three strikeouts, in the eighth. Yeah, the batters were Double A scrubs, but I'll take it. Three up, three down. Breakout pitcher? Rosa is just 25.)

Finally, for whatever it's worth, I think John may have unveiled his new Miguel Andujar homer-holler the other day. He yelled, "THE DU CAN DO!" I don't recall hearing that one in the past. Does anybody? (Ah, the discoveries of spring!) Now, where's that face mask?

It's not me, I swear it

This lineup wins 100 games

I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.

We Yankee fans sometimes enjoy debating the various ways the sky might fall.  

We should thank our lucky stars we're not Mets fans. This article is the topic of much discussion today at work.  

The Mets fans in the adjacent cubes are all doing pantomimes of hanging themselves.  Imagine the chatter that would go on here at IIHIIFIIc if rumors were swirling that Dolan was looking to buy the Yankees from Prince Hal...

Whither goest the Knicks....

Searching for meaning in a meaningless infield

One of the great evolutionary upgrades improvements in Steinbrennerian brain pan function is abandonment of the need to need to win spring training games. Remember how George would blow a cork if his Yankees weren't winning in Tampa? What a waste of indignation. Hal - (the artist formerly known as "Food Stamps") - has his flaws, but at least he's not hovering over Boone, whining about exhibition losses.

That said, WTF? ARE WE EVER GOING TO WIN? We are 0-2, can't hold a lead, and we damn well better show up tonight with Gerrit Cole on the mound, right? 

So, yesterday's tidbits...

A: Tyler Wade plays SS, goes 0-3, hitting bouncers to the right side. Insert sigh here. Of course, it means nothing, but to make this team, Wade needs a solid spring. With speed alone, he should make it. But if he doesn't hit, I mean, goes 0-20 or something, he could face his fourth stint in Scranton. Fourth. He's 25, and this is his time.   

B: Miggy plays 3B, no errors! homers, and we have to wonder: Are the Yankees subverting themselves by switching him to OF? Of course, everyone loves Gio Urshela, and yes, there is no way Andujar supplants him on defense. But last February, we viewed Andu as a generational talent, a future plaque in Monument Park. And this year, he's homeless, looking for a slot? Well, he has one: 3B. And remember: This guy is just 24. Is it too soon to punt at 3B?

C: Thairo Estrada plays 2B, turns two DPs, goes 1-3. He was one of last year's greatest surprises, lost in the wave of "next man up" talent. In any other year, on almost any other team, he'd be competing for a starting role. Here, he's just another talent battling for the 26th spot. He turned 24 two days ago. 

D: Johnny Lasagna throws a perfect first. This guy has two historical trends: 1) He always wows the scouts with his stuff. 2) He always gets injured. Last year, at age 24, he threw a measly 49 innings. It's hard to imagine him giving us 100 innings - but here's the beauty of it all: We only need three months, until Paxton and German return. (And that's forgetting Severino.) The Yankees are touting their pitching depth - the 15th to 30th man. Well, we only need one or two to make it. Can Jonathan stay healthy?

Teed up

Searching for meaning in a meaningless universe

Like the hopeful restoration of an endangered predator, the resurrection of the New York Yankees has begun. (Fingers crossed.)

The Yankee talent curve should crest in 2020. That means the revival either happens this year, or probably not at all.

So, what do we glean from yesterday's nine- inning YES infomercial? (Aside from that Ken Singleton is a Baltimore Ravens fan.) A few tidbits...

A: Last year, Chris Gittens won the Eastern League MVP, in part because he didn't get promoted. He homered yesterday, also botched a rundown, leading to a Toronto run. Big Texas guy (6'4", 250). Could be next Luke? He's 26. Ticket to Scranton. Too bad he bats RH.

B: Kyle Holder, the 2015 first-round pick that mystified fans, is supposedly best ping-pong player in camp. (That, and a dime...) Said to be defensive wiz. Been hurt a lot. A LH bat, looked bad against a LOOGY. Also drew a walk. Could we need a defensive wiz? He's 25.

C: Clint "Red Thunder" Frazier, played LF with red glove. No errors, but looked shaky chasing first fly. No longer precocious with writers. Reason: Unless somebody gets hurt, he's destined for his fifth stint in Scranton. Yeah, five times. That's torture porn. He's 25. Nobody will recall the first game of spring, but to make this team, Frazier needs to hit .350, and he's now 0-2.

D: Staten Island boy, by way of Seton Hall, Zack Granite is said to be best fielding CF in camp. He's 27, spent all of 2019 lost at Triple A. Fast, stole 34 bases. To make it until Hick returns, Gardy might need a CF caddie. Twenty-sixth man? 

E: A year younger than Mayor Pete, J.A. Happ now sits No. 3 in rotation. Looked great yesterday, probably because he came to camp early. That's what a cagey vet does. Last year was disaster, but Happ has redefined himself before. Comeback? Or is he just prolonging the end?

F: Touted by Michael Kay from the minute he came in, Michael King did not look good. Hard-hit balls, trouble with command - a walk, two hits - bummer, all around. Reminded me of Chance Adams getting lit up in camp two years ago. Oh, well, he's just 24, and this a meaningless universe. Otherwise we would worry.

Here It Comes...Just As I said

"Judge has another good day."

"Aaron Judge hit off a tee Friday."

" It was the first time the Yankee slugger was allowed to swing a bat since he was shut down earlier this month."

"He kind of gave me a smile and a thumbs up, " said manager Boone.

"So everything is moving there I think the way it should."

"But do not expect to see Judge hitting in grapefruit league games, anytime soon."

Pause here and throw a bottle against the wall....

Is it possible to become bored so badly you would rather die?  Why do sports writers carry on?  Is it the booze?  The overweight Floridian snow birds?

Save us.  Please;  not another word about Judge until the operation.  Okay?

It's Come to This.

Meanwhile, on YES, they have a "Yankees Classic," from August 11, 2019:

"Masahiro Tanaka and Aroldis Chapman combine on a four-hitter, Brett Gardner has an RBI double, and New York defeats the Blue Jays, 1-0, to end a two-game skid."

WTF?  

Since when does a routine August win over Toronto the year before qualify as a "Yankees Classic"?  

I thought at first I must've accidentally turned on SNY:  "That game last year when the Mets rallied from two runs down to beat the Padres.  Woo-hoo!"

This is what it's come to.  This is what we have to look forward to if something miraculous does not happen and this Dynasty That Never Was continues to fill the DL.

One thing of interest:  Mike Ford made two consecutive, full-length stretches/jumps to save errant throws to first from going into the stands.  I think these were the feats of agility that awed Ma Boone last year:  "How did his every hamstring not snap?"

Maybe it should be a classic just for that:  a Yankee made two fairly routine plays in the field and did not injure himself.

It's on

Actually, it's quite simple: Rob Manfred should resign

It's time for Rob Manfred to go. 

He has squandered whatever trust he once held as Commissioner of Major League Baseball. 

The botched and bogus Houston cheating scandal has exposed Manfred as an ownership lackey, a cover-up artist, unworthy of managing a major sport, especially one that heralds itself as "the National Pastime." 

The more we learn about the scandal, the more clearly we see Manfred's unwillingness to take action, even when the essence of the game had been corrupted. 

He will never recover from this loss in trust.

Consider the following facts...

Since 2017, speculation about the Astros cheating had been rampant. Several teams publicly suspected Houston of stealing signs.  

Manfred did not investigate. 

In 2018, after catching a Houston team employee taking pictures, the Cleveland Indians went so far as to warn other teams about the Astros in the upcoming post-season.

Manfred did not investigate. 

After game one of the 2019 ALCS, the Yankees asked MLB to look into the whistling sounds that were coming from the Astros dugout. Houston manager A.J. Hinch mocked the Yankees, saying, "It made me laugh." After fateful game six, the Yankees accused Houston of using blinking lights beyond the centerfield fence to convey messages to batters.

Manfred did not investigate. 

Instead, before the 2019 World Series, MLB warned both teams not to use electronic sign-stealing. (Only one team was accused of doing it.) Meanwhile, players from throughout the league were calling the Nats, telling them to be watchful. One Nats player later told the Washington Post, "It was amazing... how many people were coming out of the woodwork to let us know."

Yet Manfred did not investigate.  

Only until after Oakland pitcher Mike Fiers told The Athletic the specifics of Houston's cheating did MLB finally launch its probe. 

What are fans supposed to think, other than - without a public expose to force action - Manfred would have continued to look the other way?

For sitting on his hands while three entire seasons have been tainted, Manfred should resign.

For doling out minor slaps on the wrists of the Astros - (a $5 million fine? draft picks? no players punished? Pete Rose remains banned for life, while MLB links itself to lucrative gambling sites) - Manfred should resign. 

Sportswriters keep telling us the scandal will soon burn itself out, and fans will return to hot stove gossip. More and more, MLB and its spokespersons have become uncomfortable with the topic. They just want it to go away, before it affects the bottom line.

This scandal is not going away. 

Anger continues to grow. 

It is becoming Manfred's legacy.

He should resign.

And So It Begins

The Daily News, today, was first to report:

-  that Aaron Judge has been " soft tossing", and

-  soon, he will consider taking some swings.

This horror ....these tales of Judge considering the batting tee....and taking ( god forbid ) a full swing...are the images from which nightmares are made.

And boredom to the point of INSANITY.

Cashman was quick to report:

Boone said that, "Severino felt that tweak the last time he pitched, in October."

So in mid-february....the same tweak remains?

Supposedly, MRI's ( 2) and some other form of Xray- type exam revealed nothing, as to the source of the problem. 

 Doctors say; " the floating thing in his elbow is not the likely cause, either."

So here is my solution;  put the guy on the mound and let him pitch.   Full out on all four pitches.

Just proceed as though there is nothing wrong. 

Maybe there isn't.

And if something is seriously amiss, it will show up in spades.  There is no point resting his arm another four months, only to learn the tweak is still there when he throws his change-up. 

You are paying him $10 million.  Make him do something other than rub aloe on his arm and sleep on a divan.

It doesn't matter if surgery happens now or then. If he needs a new arm, find out now. 

 Here is the red flag warning;  resting him all off season did nothing.  It is a year and a half post surgery to recovery, so why waste another four months?

"I want to attend every Houston Astros game this season with a trash-can lid and bang it every time one of their sign-stealing cheatballs comes to bat. I want to find Commissioner Rob Manfred and pelt him with Stay Puft marshmallows for his pillowy-soft punishment of the most crooked team in baseball history. Chicago Black Sox? Please. That scandal was eight players in one series. This was the whole team, and coaches, for two full seasons."

"The Crookedest Team in History," by Rick Reilly. 

The Brainstrust

Just an idle thought while waiting for my copy of the 2020 Bob Klapisch/Brian Cashman's sequel, Inside the Ruins to arrive:

The assembled baseball acumen we have here, as displayed by people spending maybe 5-10 minutes a day around our having to do real work—or, okay, real drinking—far exceeds that of the brainstrust (yes, that was the original spelling of the word, and we're nothing if not Old School here) assembled by Brian Cashman, the man who has taken more victory tours than you can shake a stick at, but has yet to win anything on his own.

I hate to ever contradict our Peerless Leader, El Duque, who has been killing it of late (and pretty much always).  But I didn't cheer or clap when Cashie inked Sevvy and Hicks to those crazy contracts, and I don't remember anybody else doing so here.

Despite all the Kremlinese coming from the Bronx, I ALWAYS thought that there was something wrong with Severino beyond his "tipping pitches," and I ALWAYS thought it was ridiculous to sign up a player such as Hicks—a speed player, in good part, whose game would inevitably decline even if he somehow avoided the plague of injuries that has always beset him—to such a long deal.

But how is it possible that our collective wisdom here, at a single, whiskey-soaked blog, exceeds that of the best baseball money that Steinbrenner cash can buy?

Just look at the comments on the state of our ballteam in the last post comments:

Warbler:  It would have cost $10 million a year to sign up at least one more, highly serviceable starter.  TRUE.

ALL-CAPS:  The Yanks should have played it straight and got Sevvy the operation he obviously needed back in 2018.  Now we're likely to be without him until 2022.  TRUE.  (This is especially true because I wrote it, too, in an earlier comment.)

Joe FOB: We can't keep wasting money on frail players.  TRUE.

RichieAllen1964: Despite his suspiciously Philliean moniker, he points out that taking Severino from 133 innings in two years to 384 innings in two years was not a good idea.  It's a figure so crazy in light of what we know about young arms today that I had to go look it up.  You know what?  It's TRUE TRUE TRUE.

Hammer:  Aaron Hicks, hardworking and likable though he is, was never more and never could be more than a wan imitation of Bernie Williams.  Why the hell would you possibly give him all that money?

Incidentally, in Bernie's last year he hit .281, with an OPS of .768, and was firmly shown the door because he was making the ungodly salary of $1.5 million a year.  Hicks, who if we're lucky we'll get our usual one-half to one-third of a season from this year, has a lifetime BA of .236, and a lifetime OPS of .729.  He'll be making nearly $11 million in 2020.  TRUE.

Other Anon:  "...a good 2020 from Severino is...neither likely nor necessary...His overall career has been at best average...and his performance in the playoffs probably the worst of any Yankee in the modern era."  FALSE.

I respectfully disagree.  First, Severino had an outstanding 2017, and halfway through 2018 was one of the best pitchers in the majors, with an ERA under two runs a game.  His potential was immense.

As to his postseason performances, yeah, they've been bad, particularly his first-ever outing in the wild card game against Minnesota.

But consider:  In his one start in the 2017 ALDS against Cleveland, he came up big:  3 runs and 9 Ks in 7 innings, as the Yanks tied the series.

Against Houston, IN Houston, he did less well.  Hmm, why would that have been?

But it still wasn't awful, considering what we now know he was up against:  1 run and 2 hits in 4 innings in his first start there, before Girardi gave him a quick hook, down 1-0; 3 earned runs in 4 2/3 in Game 6, before another quick hook.

Yes, there was that disastrous start against Boston—when we now know he was pitching injured.  Then, last year, 4 scoreless frames against Minnesota, and 2 runs in 4 1/3 against Houston.

When, as we now know, he was once again—ludicrously, crazily—pitching injured.

And finally, YES, we desperately needed him for 2020, considering how weak and injury prone the rest of the staff is, save for Mr. Cole.

All of which is not to say that we're all geniuses here (although, you know, we kind of are).

It's that this once blooming Yankees dynasty, with so much promise, has been nipped in the bud by the sheer, inattentive incompetence and stupidity of Brian Cashman's actual brainstrust.

Just look at the record above:  wasting money on players who obviously weren't worth it (and then crying poor), pitching injured pitchers, and above all, always, always hoping for something to work out when there was no indication at all that it would.

It has been said of one of New York's more infamous mayors, James J. Walker, that he hoped like a child.

He had nothing on Brian Cashman.

Will the Yankees, twice burned, abandon long term contracts to emerging stars?

Last February, the Yankees broke from longtime policy and signed Luis Severino to a four-year, $40 million contract. It made sense. He was 25, still ascending, and the deal would avoid arbitration and ensure that his future Cy Young seasons happened in New York. Across the Yankiverse, citizens cheered. I can't lie: We at IT IS HIGH certainly did.

A few days later, the Death Star doubled-down: They signed Aaron Hicks to a seven-year, $70 million deal, filling CF for the foreseeable future. At 29, Hicks was coming off his best season, and he looked like the next Bernie. I can't lie: We applauded.

The real news here was the change in Yankee fiscal strategy. We were following the lead of small market franchises, investing in young(ish) stars, rather than waiting until they hit free agency, as old George Steinbrenner did, and then wooing them with tractor-trailers full of money. 

Welp...

The first results are in! With 90 percent of the precincts reporting, the outcomes are - um - awful. 

However wise these deals seemed last year, they now look like the most epic disaster since The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Hicks is a walking bag of shards; and Sevy? What is there to say, aside from, "Good luck in rehab!" His forearm hurts, he's getting tested, and until we know otherwise, we shouldn't count on him in 2020 - or for that matter - maybe ever. 

Severino's problems came without warning. Who knew? But if the 2020 Yankees are, once again, emulating a coronavirus cruise ship, maybe the problem is not the trainers. Maybe it's management's continual disregard for injury backgrounds on the players it seemingly "steals" in trades.

Case in point: Nobody should have been surprised last spring, when Giancarlo Stanton went down for virtually all of 2019. Any cab driver in Miami could have predicted it. This is not to rip Stanton; injuries are part of the game. But they happen to some players more than others, and we are learning that big, lumbering OF husks have a tendency to tweak. 

Nobody should have been surprised when James Paxton recently went down with a barking back. Any bellhop in Seattle - (are there still bellhops?) - could have predicted it. The problem with Paxton was always injuries. When the Yankees traded for him, they knew this. He's good until hurt. Then he disappears.

We should not have been surprised when Hicks went down, only days after signing his contract extension. His track record was clear: He'd play two months, then miss one. The Yankees knew this. 

Just as they know Aroldis Chapman misses more time with each passing season. Or that Masahiro Tanaka, who has pitched nearly seven years with a slight tear in his wing, is coming to camp after off-season surgery on chips in his arm. More than anybody in baseball, the Yankees should be aware of a player's injury record.

Then there is Jacoby Ellsb-[STOP: THIS IS YOUR AUTOMATED CARDIAC MONITOR. A DANGEROUS RISE IN HEARTBEAT HAS BEEN DETECTED. IT IS ADVISED THAT YOU STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, OR WRITING, AND REFRAIN FROM SAID ACTIVITY. ALL WORDS WILL BE BLOTTED OUT, UNTIL NORMAL HEARTBEAT RESUMES...] -imagining Alan Ludden's and Betty White's marriage night, yowzer, am I right?

And soon, the team must decide on its future core four: Aaron Judge, Gary Sanchez, Miguel Andujar and Gleyber Torres. Of that group, only Gleyber has been durable; the others crumble like fresh Cheetos. (And know this: Gleyber is indispensable; if he's hurt, Code Red.) Will Hal Steinbrenner - the owner formerly known as "Food Stamps" - bestow upon any of them a long-term deal that cements his future as a Yankee? Or, twice burned, will we return to the days of old George? (Or for that matter, should we?)

This winter, the Yankees avoided arbitration with all their players, seemingly sailing towards a pennant... and more. But without Paxton and Severino, everything has changed. Suddenly, even floundering Boston has a stronger rotation, and Toronto and (especially) Tampa are rising nations. It's certainly too early to panic, and the team still has trade chips - Clint Frazier, Estevan Florial, Luis Cessa, Thairo Estrada. But yesterday morning, before the news broke on Sevy, the future looked a hell of a lot brighter. And today, aren't we all just waiting for the next shoe to drop? Who else out there has been waiting until now to report that twinge of pain? Class? Anybody? 

Nope. I'm Not Going To Even Quack.

"Things floating around," you say?

And who might this transportation device be awaiting?

Let me guess:  Would Dr. Andrews be involved?

Would the patient's last name rhyme with "The Bambino?"

" Please pass the Crown Royal.  That's OK, I can drink it straight from the bottle."