Only three shopping days until The Trent Dent

Tuesday,  November 18 - a day that will live in infancy - Trent Grisham must decide whether to accept or reject the Yankees $22 million qualifying offer, setting a template for the 2026 lineup.

There is really nothing else to say. 

Rumors suggest Grisham will ditch the offer and head to free agency, in search of a three year deal. If so, the Yankees would have an extra $22 million in movie money, plus a 4th round draft pick. 

The difference in alt-Yankee future lineups is staggering. 

If he stays...

cf Grisham
rf Judge
1b Rice
2b Chisholm
dh Stanton
lf Dominguez/Jones/somebody? 
3b McMahon/Cabrera 
c Wells/Rice/somebody? 
ss Cabalero/Volpe/somebody?

If he bolts...

2b Chisholm (or cf?)
rf Judge
lf Tucker/Bellinger?
dh Stanton
1b Rice (or c)
cf Jones/Dominguez/Somebody?
3b McMahon/Cabrera? 
c Wells/Rice? 
ss Cabalero/Volpe/a 2b/Somebody?

Until Grisham decides, there is no sense trying to ponder the Yankee paths to success in 2026. In three days, Brian Cashman will learn which alt-Yankiverse he'll inhabit. 

Three days... 

"Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

 

Okay, so maybe Hal & Pal are not—quite—the moral equivalent of Tailgunner Joe McCarthy (Never to be confused with Marse Joe McCarthy). Or the current inhabitant of the Shambolic White House.

But really.  How many damned MVPs does Aaron Judge have to win before our very own Nepo & Nemo put a decent team around the man?

Col. Ruppert, as cold-blooded an accented-German-American as ever was, this side of Trump's grandfather, not only brought The Babe to town, but surrounded him with Murderers' Row and the greatest baseball stadium ever built—all on his own dime! 

Ed Barrow and George Weiss, a pair of gimlet-eyed, racist sharks...nonetheless built the world's greatest farm system, ever, to keep funneling the supporting talent to those other, three-time MVPs, Joe DiMaggio and Yogi Berra and Mickey Mantle.

Even Hal's daddy, not always the best judge of talent in the world, dug deep to give us Reggie Jackson, among others.

 

Whatta we got?

We got squaaaaat! As they sang in the greatest baseball musical ever made. Or something like that.

(By the way, technically, doesn't Katherine Hepburn have an asterisk next to those 4 Oscars?  Didn't she tie, back in 1968 or so, with...Barbra Streisand???)

Well, they were dropping a lot of acid in the sixties.

Hal has no such excuse.  

Get Judge a damned team. NOW.

You unsmiling, jumpy-eyed, kinky-booted, silver-spoon-mouthed putz.

Only four wild days until Trent Grisham Decision Day across the Yankiverse

Gather your riot helmets, everybody. The next four days will bring a crazed marathon of felony-grade Yankeetainment. 

First, today, at noon... the infamous Cortica Jug Game - pitting mini-goliaths SUNY Cortland and Ithaca College against each other in the fiercest, most deranged and - by far - drunkest rivalry in college sports. 

Who can forget the Cortica Riot of 2013, when fans massed near a small mountain of kegs, barking, puking, flipping cars and diving off roofs - (that's an actual shot) - eventually requiring police from across the area to quell the insurrection. Thirty were arrested. The school bigwigs were shocked - SHOCKED - and the rivalry was nearly ended. But here we are.  

Why care about a small college rivalry in an area that is steadily moving Metward? (Both Binghamton and Syracuse, former Yankee minor league outposts, are now Met towns.) Well, next year, they'll play the game at Yankee Stadium. Two years back, the did it and sold 40,000 tickets, second-highest in history for a Division III outing. The year earlier, they played at Metlife Stadium, selling 45,000.) Thinking sellout...

Sunday, it's the regular Welcome New Giants Coach game and debacle, featuring recently promoted Mike Kafka, as he dons the Brian Daboll Headset of Doom. The Giants are 2-8, third in the NFL Tankathon for draft picks. Can they keep it up? And should we care? 

As everyone knows, if the Giants draft an eight-foot tall QB, he will turn out to be two dwarfs piggyback. Still, this game does bring out the pageantry. What will the flyover banner say?  

Then... Epstein Monday! Emails, notes, cards, handwritten birthday poetry - it's bubbling up, one grimy morsel at a time. Bill Clinton? Boom. Alan Dershowitz? Boom. Your mom? Boom. Who's next? This isn't going away. 

Here on Epstein Island - this is a tale of our castaways, we're here for a long long time - Mr. Howell was always diddling Mary Ann. We've been at this for six years. By the time we're done, Ghislaine will have a podcast, maybe with Matt Gaetz. Hunker down. The worst is yet to come.  

Then... Tuesday... Trent Grisham Decision Day! The 29-year-old CF will tell the Yankees whether he's accepting their $22 million qualifying offer, and thus, whether he will return in 2026. 

If he says YES - that is, the Vatican chimney belches white smoke - there goes our shot at signing Kyle Tucker and/or Cody Bellinger. The course of our entire Yankee winter will be fundamentally altered. 

Four days from now, we'll know everything. 

Get ready to riot. 

Congrats to Aaron Judge, the rightful MVP. Now, will the Yankees step up and give him the support he deserves?

Congrats to The Captain - our Captain - Aaron Judge, who TOTALLY deserves to be 2025 AL Most Valuable Player, in the same way that Francis McDormand needed to win the 2017 Best Actress award for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, even though Meryl Streep was the secret crowd fave for portraying Katherine Graham in The Post. 

I know, I know... You're wringing your hands because, while McDormand delivered in the role of a guilt-distressed mom, so did Cal Raleigh for the Mariners. Damn, the guy hit 60 HRs and drove in 125, as a catcher.  Those are Jane Fonda numbers, maybe even Julia Roberts. And McDormand goes down as one of the greats - tied for second all-time, with three Best Actress Oscars, after Katherine Hepburn with four. (Nobody beats the Hepper. Not even Sally "You love me" Field.)

But let's be clear here: 

Judge is Nicholson, Hanks, De Niro...

Judge is Meryl Fucking Streep. (Two Oscars and 17 nominations.)

Any look at the numbers puts Judge in his own movie, maybe opposite Debra Winger. Seattle fans can extol Raleigh's values as catcher/team leader - won't deny them, definitely a Hillary Swank toughness vibe - but any Yank fan knows that, without Judge, that sorry lineup would have been the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, or maybe even Show Girls, barely winning more games than it lost, and it probably would have have missed the postseason. 

Wait. There's that word: Postseason.

Yeah. That's it, the word of 2025: To Yank fans, it beats "6-7" and "Gen Z Stare." And it sits in the abyss, at the underside of every award. 

It's hard to give a shit about anybody's trophy case after the Yankee clown car once again ditched itself in early October. Judge now has three MVP trophies. He's up there with McDormand, a great actress, for sure. He's a lock for Cooperstown. Someday, he'll have a burger kiosk in Monument Park. He'll host a podcast, joke with A-Rod in pregame shows, maybe get elected to Congress (running against Texiera?) He'll be a generational icon of New York City, a game show host, if not a talking head for Good Morning America, and he'll wind up among the greatest Yankees, the greatest HR hitters in history, the greatest stars of his time.

But will he have a ring? 

Starting to wonder.

The Yankees have now squandered three MVP seasons from Judge, and a Cy Young year from Gerrit Cole. At least, this time, Judge put together a worthy October - he hit .500, 13-for-26 prying that monkey off his back. Cole, on the other hand, must still exorcize the shame of not covering first on a routine grounder. You'd hate to see that in the permanent ledger.

All hail Aaron Judge! He deserves every plaque, every trophy, every Best Actor accolade. But he's starting to pinch. Without a ring, he's just an empty billboard outside Ebbing. He needs a supporting cast.

After a decade of disappointment, the Yankees fire their top international scout

Yesterday, after Pirates ace Paul Skenes won the NL Cy Young Award, rumors popped that he secretly yearns to play for - gulp - the New York effing Yankees.  

And, of course, he will. Someday. 

Don't they all? 

Around 2040 (assuming that 3I/ATLAS comet now heading our way isn't an alien probe), when Skenes is 37, bald, crag-toothed and gout-toed, he surely will wind up in the Yankee rotation next to Tarik Skubal, Yoshinobu Yamamoto and the cast of Yellowstone. 

But now? Nope. Notta gonna happen. For shits and giggles, let's imagine the package Brian Cashman would have to cobble together to land his ultimate Great White Whale - the reigning NL Cy Young. Here goes... 

1. Cam Schlittler. (The Pirates would demand him, full stop.) 

2. The Martian, Jasson Dominguez. (After all the hype, gone.)  

3. Spencer Jones, the tall CF (and maybe, the next Joey Gallo.) 

4. George Lombard Jr., the SS. (Our best position prospect.)  

5. Ben Rice. (At least one young and cheap, game-ready regular.)

6. A top below-radar prospect. (Pitcher Elmer Rodriguez-Cruz?)

7. Gobs of cash. (They are, after all, the Pirates.)  

A painful package, right? Well, here's the kicker: It would be beaten, easily and instantly, by the Dodgers, Mets, Redsocks, Phils, Jays, Tigers and half the contenders in baseball. The reason? They have explosive and successful international scouting systems, while the Yankees farm has percolated dregs for 20 years.

Which brings me to yesterday's firing. 

First, a disclaimer. I dunno shit about scouting. Neither do you. We sit on our pink brocade toilet seats in places currently under a foot of snow, and we study ERAs and Ks, and none of us could tell a Schlitter from a Benito Schlossolini. 

Nevertheless, you don't need to be a cow to know the milk is sour.

Yesterday, the Yankees canned their chief international scout, Danny Rowland, after 23 years. Rowland, 62, had overseen an ever-flushing urinal of a farm system, with a breathtaking array of failures. The list goes from Alexander Vargas ($2.5 million bonus), Brando Mayea ($4.3 million), Roderick Arias ($4 million), Mani Cedeno ($2.5 million), Hans Montero ($1.7 million) and the infamous class of 2014, when the Yankees strategically shot their wad ($12 million, far more than any other franchise) on seven teens, the most successful turning out to be Dermis Garcia, who eventually would hit .207 over 40 games with the 2022 Oakland A's.

I don't know if Rowland was a good scout in a bad system, or vice versa. His contract ran out, and the Yankees made a change. So be it. In this world, nobody aged 62 can ever know that crazy thing called "job security." (Wait, I take it back: There's Cashman and Boone, and everybody else.)

What I do know is that if Paul Skenes goes anywhere this winter, it will probably be to Los Angeles or Boston - some team destined to crush us in October. Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe that ATLAS thingy will end civilization, in which case, we needn't worry about the rotation. For now, though, the Yankees are still the farm system of Dermis Garcia. 

Isn't that the galaxy we now inhabit? 

The 2025 Tabloids Back Cover Race

Is this finally the Knicks year?  

This morning El Duque asked what is the single most important question in NY sports. 

Not, "Will the Giants fire Joe Schoen? 

Not, "Why didn't they fire Shane Bowen too?" Seriously, how did they not fire Shane Bowen? 

Not, "Why can't the Rangers win at home?"

Or even, "Why didn't the Giants fire Shane Bowen?" 

OK I know I said that already, but how does a Defensive Coordinator whose defense has three epic collapses, historical collapses, in three weeks, keep his job?  

But I digress... 

He asks "Can they (the Knicks) catch the Yankees?" and win The 2025 Tabloids Back Cover Race. 

This could be the Knicks year.

While winning their first NBA Championship since most of us were in short pants would be good, there’s a lot of road between here and there. So, for the time being, let’s focus on an equally remarkable yet achievable goal.

Winning The 2025 Tabloids Back Cover Race I’m guessing for the first time ever. 

(Well, since this blog started tracking it. It's quite possible that the Knicks won between 1969-73 when the Yankees sucked and the Knicks owned the town or maybe the Mets took it but I don't have an intern to task with finding it out, so we'll never know.)

Currently the Knicks trail the Yankees 172.5 to 158.5  

Fourteen covers back with seven weeks and ninety-eight covers available.

You would think it would be a cakewalk but it’s actually going to be very close.

Here’s the breakdown…

Monday back covers are pretty much guaranteed to be football. This takes 14 covers off the table.

84 Remaining.

The Giants have named their head coach for now but as today’s NY Post shows, there are going to still be the random “Bill Belichick? No. Lane Kiffin? No.  Fill in the Blank? No. Basically the print equivalent of click bait. 

Figure at least four of the these per paper. So eight more covers. Let's give the Jets a couple of these too. You never know.

Down to 74.

Unless a NY Ranger, New York Islander dies, or is arrested for stabbing a Door Dash guy or is found cheating, either in a gambling scandal or for managing to nail Jordan Hudson during halftime of a North Carolina football game while Bill is otherwise occupied… no back covers for them. Same with The Nets. 

OK, maybe two per paper. Let’s give the NY Post another one given their love of the salacious.

69. 

Toss in a Saint Johns Big East Tourney and a couple of Met Free Agent signings, some unforeseen big name scandal, or other general sports headline worthy event and we’re down to 61.

The Knicks need to make up 14 back covers with 61 remaining.

Can they pull it off?

The Knicks should always get the back cover after a game and there are 20 games between now and the end of the year. (Actually 21 but the game on Dec 31^st will be in the first paper of the new year.)

There’s 40 right there.

Putting the Knicks up 26 with only 21 covers remaining.

More than enough to win it going away, except…

The Yankees aren’t going to go down without a fight. 

They need to come up with twenty-six (26) back pages, between now and the end of the year to retain the title. So they are going to have to time the announcements of their biggest deals to come on days after the Knicks play a game and knock them off the back pages.

If they can do this just four times they will only need twenty-two to retain the title.

Bellinger on the verge of either signing with them or elsewhere gets them two. (2)

Bellinger signs with them or doesn’t.  (4)

Losing out on a major Free Agent target gets them two. (6)

Winter meetings shenanigans gets them two. (8)

A big trade get’s them two. (10)

The inevitable free agent pitcher signing get’s them two. (12)

Former Yankee found with underage girl in the Dominican Republic or its equivalent, two. (14)

Current Yankee deported by ICE, two. The New York Post approves!  (16)

Michael Kay divorces wife marries Meredith Marakovits. Complete with honeymoon pics from Bali. I know that's not going to happen but try unseeing that! 

Anyway, there will be some other Yankee related thing.  Two. (18)

Still short. They need four more back pages.

Of course if Hal cared about winning this thing he would fire Boone or Brian and take it going away but we all know how he feels about going the extra mile to win. So, no.

Sadly, the Yankees might need Joe Torre to pass away to retain the title. A final gift to the franchise. Two back covers on the news. Two more on the funeral for the win. 

If Joe hangs on, it looks like the Knicks! Oh and, fire Shane Bowen. C'mon this is just nuts. 

The GM meetings won't be the same without the Casherino

Breaking News Drivel: The annual GM swap meet in Vegas is underway, and for the first time in his 27 years at the helm, Yankee super-wiz Brian Cashman will be missing in action. 

That means no big Yankee signings, no colossal Yankee deals, and no epic, until-dawn hoisting of boilermakers in the Hoodle Dasher  lounge, as the world wonders: Where's Pitbull? 

Dunno. Climbing Everest, because it's there? Hiking the Appalachian Trail, grokking nature (with the Pilates instructor?) Or maybe he's just burnt out - tired of the grind, the crapola, the lost Octobers. Could you blame him?     

What could Cashman's absence mean? Some possibilities...

1. Absolutely nothing. Nada, zip, no sir. The GM meetings are not the Winter Meetings. They're probably an excuse to drink, chase hotties and urinate in public. Cash has been Yank GM since 1998. He's 58, and the Yankees are no longer the apex predator in every bidding war. In fact, they're in the second tier of ownership wealth. It's gotta be depressing for a guy who began his GM career with annual parades down the Canyon of Heroes. Could anybody blame Cashman if he's simply doesn't give an airborne shit anymore?  

2. A little, but not much. Supposedly, two years ago, the GM meetings spawned the Juan Soto trade with San Diego. Still, the heavy lifting came later. By not being there, Cashman could conceivably miss out on some 3 a.m. dick measuring contest that eventually unlocks the Pirates' grip on Paul Skenes. But I doubt it.  

3. You can say you went. Right now, the Yankees can't do much of anything. They're waiting for Trent Grisham to decide if he'll accept their $22 million qualifying offer and stay a Yankee, or take his chances on free agency. Everything the Yankees will do this winter hinges on Grisham's decision, which is still a week away. Why go without a plan? 

4. Gossip. The Yankees are sending a contingent. Who knows? Maybe without the boss, the underlings can stay later at the bar, and snap some incriminating photographs, to be used in later negotiations? 

Let's face it: Aside from signing somebody off the scrap heap, everything that happens must be signed off by Cashman - and then by Food Stamps Hal - and if it means busting the budget, probably the rest of the Steinbrenner family. Remember those t-shirts in the 1970's? MY FAMILY WENT TO VEGAS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT? Sums it up.  

Here's a shocker: In the bidding for Kyle Tucker, the Athletic picks the Yankees to finish second

Surprise! The Athletic picks the Yankees to finish 2nd
in the bidding for Kyle Tucker .

In a world where even the Jets and Giants show a clearer sense of the future - at least, in the need for change - the Yankees are preparing to once again almost sign the top free agent in the 2026 market. 

In their ongoing pageant of pointlessness, the nation's crusty Gammonites are predicting the Dodgers or Mets to land OF Kyle Tucker, with the purse-clutching Yankees finishing as First Runner-Up, and Hal Steinbrenner once again donning the crown of Miss Congeniality.

Look outside. See the snow? It's fucking winter. Soon, MLB will crown its newest obscenity of overpayments, by pouring mountains of money over some middling slugger - in this case, Tucker, a lifetime .273 batter who has never hit more than 30 HRs in a season. Last year, he finished with 22 HRs and .266. (Ben Rice last year: 26 HRs and .255.) But he's 29 and viewed as the prettiest girl in a herpes-infested pageant. 

As for Owner Hal? He is Miss Tampa, a bit to heavy on the hips. He's the heir to a baseball family - like the Yawkeys, the Griffiths, the O'Malleys - of the past. Old money.  Ancient money. And a principal tenet of the elders, the cheap owners, was that they always, always, always - almost - get their players.

As hard-bitten Yank fans, we need to start realizing our place in the baseball cosmos. The Yankees have the greatest legacy in American sports - but most of it is 60 to 80 years old, and if it doesn't predate us, it extends back to our childhoods. 

Moreover, the Yankees do not have a relatively rich owner.

With his net worth calculated at $1.8 billion, Owner Hal ranks 18th on the list of MLB owners' wealth. Leading the pack is Stevie Cohen, owner of the Mets, at $21.3 billion. If you're simply looking at money, Hal has less than the owners of the Tigers, Twins, Redsocks, A's, Rangers, Cardinals, Braves, Phillies, Giants, Astros, White Sox, Cubs and of course, the Dodgers. 

That's why the Yankees bank so much of the profits, rather than funneling it back to the team: Hal's trying to keep up with the Cohens!

Most owners represent a new oligarchy: They're hedge fund buttholes, techie bedwetters and mystery financiers, whose sources of money are as elusive as the Epstein diaries.  

Millennials today see the Yankees as an annual wild card contender, the team that once had Jeter. 

So, winter is here. For now, we simply wait to see if Trent Grisham accepts the Yankees $22 million one-year qualifying offer. If so, prepare to be told that the deal will have drained the coffers. The mighty Yankees - 18th on the owners list - will not win a bidding war against Cohen, the Dodgers, the Phillies or even the Cubs. But they sure can come in second.

Dear MLB Super Billionaires: If 2027 is a guaranteed labor shutdown, why wait?

Dear Assholes,

The winter of 2027 is fast approaching, and in this super-polarized world of politics, religion and culture, everyone seems to strangely agree on one sure thing.

Major Legue Baseball is about to get hit by the asteriod.

Next year, around now, the owners will padlock their taxpayer-funded facilities, shut down the game, and go out night-clubbing. 

Now, I've nothing against Hal Steinbrenner and Stevie Cohen donning sequined disco flairs and shaking their booties into stupors of Donna Summers and Gloria Gaynor. We'd all be happier if every MLB owner - and certain players - ditched baseball for nonstop KC and the Sunshine Band raves for the rest of their days. I am strangely sustained by the image of Randy Levine in a skintight, John Travolta sharkskin, girating to a mirror ball reflection from Rudy Giuliani's high-beam front teeth, leading our way to The Abyss. And that's no jive talkin.' 

Everyone agrees: Next November, an asteriod the size of Wrigley Field is going to hit Commissioner Rob Manfred square in his cabbage roll, shutting down the National Pastime for an entire season, if not longer. 

We probably won't see baseball in 2027. Maybe 2028, too. (U.S. politics is giving us a clear view of what's going to happen.) The owners will dig in. The players will dig in. Both have more money than you or I will make in our lifetimes. And it's not enough. They want more. 

When the union contract ends, so will baseball. 

On that note, I ask one question:

Why wait?

Seriously. If next winter is going to foster a lockout, why go about business as usual? If NASA tomorrow announced that an astroid the size of Trump's ego was going to hit Earth, would we not stock up on Labatts and drink up the time we have left? If the asteroid is coming, why delay the next installment of K Pop Demon Hunters? Bring it now! 

I have several items on my personal bucket list:

1. See Springsteen once more. (Note: This must be in a smaller venu, not a domed stadium.)

2. Watch the NY Giants win a Super Bowl. (Note: I've given up.)

3. Watch the Yankees win a world series. (Note: I've sorta given up.)

4. Piss on a certain politicians' grave. (Note: I will get shot, attempting this.)

Listenup, assholes... 

If you're going to shut down baseball, do it now. 

Spare us another Dodgers' championship, built from cooking the books. 

If you're really going to kill the game - if you're really that stupid - go ahead. Do it now. I dare you.  

Happy Tip of the Iceberg Day!

Is Keneshaw Mountain Landis available for the Commissioner's job? We're going to need him.

 

The 2026 Yankee lineup, if Trent Grisham elects to stay

 The Yankees have extended him a $22 million qualifying offer. If he takes it, here's where we could be on Opening Day.

cf Trent Grisham
rf Aaron Judge
1b Ben Rice
dh Giancarlo Stanton
2b Jazz Chisholm
lf Jasson Dominguez
c Austin Wells
ss Jose Cabalero
3b Ryan McMahon

Are you as excited as I am!?

In the bidding war for Munetaka Murakami, the Yankees will do what they do best: Finish runner-up.

A new potential Dodger has appeared on the vaporous horizon.

Team Sushi will probably add to its stable of young Japanese stars, shelling out a meager $160 million - table scraps compared to the Soto/Musk/Trump/Putin Scale of Obscene Wealth.

Munetaka Murakami - (Fun fact: His nickname "Murakami-sama" (feats of the Gods) was Japan's word of the year in 2022) - is a 25-year-old LH slugging corner infielder, said to be shaky at 3B and to strike out too often, who will probably land at 1B, which makes him a lousy a fit for the Dodgers, but they'll sign him anyway (unless Stevie Cohen jetisons Pete Alonso and joins the bidding. Let's hope.) 

In another time, in another Yankiverse, the mighty Bronx Bombers would point to the RF porch and let nothing interfere with their pursuit of Murakami. Remember how it was? Didn't matter if the guy didn't fit. A lefty slugger, fresh on the market - he was ours. Sign first, figure out later. The Yankees ruled baseball through summer and winter, and the brightest stars wanted to play in New York. Tommy John, who played everywhere, once said that every great player needed to experience a season as a NY Yankee. 

Yep, those were the days. They're gone. Not coming back. 

Case in point: Is not Kyle Schwarber the absolute reincarnation of Jason Giambi, a giant DH who plays in the field? Giambi took number 25 on the Yankees because the numbers added up to seven - for Mickey Mantle, his dad's favorite player. Schwarber is a free agent, and throughout the impending auction, you won't hear a girlish peep from the Yankees. He'll probably re-sign with Philadelphia, unless the Dodgers get him, along with Murakami, because - why not? Or maybe Stevie Cohen will sign them both. 

Either way, the Yankees will be what they've been throughout this millennium: a recurring afterthought. Every October, they become the Party Animals, the team that plays second tier to the Savannah Bananas. 

But this is supposed to be about Murakami, a man nicknamed for Godlike events. He'd make a fine additition to a lineup with a guy named for a planet. In the old days, it wouldn't even matter if Murakami turned out to be a dud. Old George would get his rocks off just criticising the guy. But now, we all know Murakami will not be a Yankee. The reasons: 

1. We have Ben Rice at 1B. 

2. We have Ryan McMahon at 3B.

3. We don't need another 150 strikeouts per season.

As ABOVE AVERAGE points out below, Hal just won't spend the money. Case closed. He still remembers his dad signing Reggie for $3.5 million (over five years), and he wonders why he should spend more? Hal is 55. He's healthy. Still has his hair. He's not firing anybody. He's not throwing things. He's in Tampa. He surely owns a yacht. He's 10 years away from moving to The Villages, where maybe he'll catch the clap and get sick. He's not stressing out. He's not going anywhere. 

And neither is his team.

ZERØ chance Munetaka Murakami is coming to the Bronx . . .

 

Unless he's a world class catcher . . . 

The Yankees have turned their winter plans over to Trent Grisham.

Yesterday, the Yankees made a $22 million qualifying offer to Trent Grisham, making him the architect of their 2026 restructuring strategy.

Grish has until Nov. 22 to decide whether to accept or decline. If he says yes, the Yankee outfield will stabilize - maybe to the point of being clogged. 

If Grisham takes the $22 million, one-year hookup, it lessens the likelihood of the Yankees signing either Kyle Tucker or Cody Bellinger, the two biggest free agent outfielders on the market. Owner Hal Steinbrenner - currently wondering if his SNAP benefits will return before Thanksgiving - won't want to shell out all his movie money on the outfield, especially when the bullpen and shortstop slots feature gaping holes.

Of course, Grish could say no. He's coming off a career year - by far - and he's still shy of 30. He might prompt a bidding war. Or maybe not. Sometimes, guys like him end up on March 15 without a stool in the bar or a place in the sun. Remember those years when he hit south of Mendoza? So do the GMs. 

If the Yankees coax one more year out of Grisham, they will have effectively squeezed the juice from the cactus. And if he can pull off a solid follow-up season, he should be still young enough to win his dream contract next winter - (though baseball will be shutting down by then, so who knows how the market will look.) 

The Yankees might be better off leaving left field to The Martian and/or Spencer Jones. And no law says Hal can't pony up the cash to sign Tucker or Bellinger; it's just his track record of finishing second in bidding wars, that's all. 

If Grisham leaves, the Yankees will most likely receive a piddling fourth round draft pick, because of their bloated payroll. It's sad. They are hardly MLB's Apex Predator - (that's the Dodgers) - or even NYC's (the Mets.) But a draft pick is a draft pick, right? It can be Aaron Judge. It can be Andrew Brackman. 

And by signaling their willingness to stick with Grisham, they're lessening the likelihood of a massive restructuring of the Yankee roster. They went to the mat this year against Toronto, missed by one stinking game. Apparently, they figure by standing pat, they'll contend again next fall, and - really - that's the objective, as the Canadians say, eh?

ARod's narcissism recovery is going so well, he helped make a TV show about it

 

Full story: The Guardian

The signposts of the looming Yankeapolypse converge today at 5 p.m.

Today - Thursday, November 6, a date that could live in infamy - sunset is listed at 4:49 p.m. E.S.T. 

Eleven measly minutes - 660 seconds - before the Yankeapocaylpse. 

That happens at exactly 5 p.m., the deadline for Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner to rule on a matter that will reverberate throughout 2026... and beyond.

By Happy Hour, our pennywise owner must decide whether the Yankees will extend a $22 million, one-year qualifying offer to CF Trent Grisham, who hit 34 HRs last season. It's no slam dunk. While Grisham last year was third on the team (behind Judge and Giancarlo) in On Base Percentage, he is a) pushing 30, b) a career .218 hitter, and c) he fell apart - 4 for 29, without a HR or RBI - in the recent postseason. 

Right now, nobody knows what Hal or Grish are thinking.

If Hal extends the qualifying offer: 

1. Grisham could say yes. He'd receive $22 million next year, a chunk of money that would burn in Hal's fanny pack. It would leave the Yankees with an outfield surplus that, unless trades happen, will undercut their ability to sign either Kyle Tucker and/or Cody Bellinger, both of whom are viewed as priorities. If the Yankees bring back Grisham, it's easy to imagine Hal doing what he does best: finishing second in the bids for Tucker or Bellinger.  

2. Grisham could say no. Good grief, he just had his breakout year. This should be his big, career, free agency payout. He wants a three-year deal, maybe five. If he rejects the offer, the Yankees might receive a compensatory draft pick (it depends on what else they do), and there could be draft-related strings attached to the team that signs him. Sometimes, those strings can really fuck up a player, especially one who is looking for his big, career payout. Ask Alex Bregman. 

If Hal says no qualifying offer...

The Yankees flush the toilet, giggle the handle and turn out the lights. Grishman hits free agency free and clear, no strings, and the Yankees look for somebody - a burner who can play CF. Do they think Spencer Jones is real? Can The Martian, who certainly has the speed, improve defensively? Jazz Chisholm? Or would they find themselves pondering, gulp, Harrison Bader 2.0?

So, the Yankees could end up with Grisham, Mr. Cool, back in center, hoping last year was no fluke. Or they could face a clogged outfield into next November, when most people expect MLB to abruptly halt, due to a labor stoppage. There might be no baseball in 2027. (The Dodgers' dynasty ending at three?) 

So what happens today, as you're lifting the cold one, could influence how we remember the Yankees for a long, long tme. 

Dear Mr. Hal, Bring back the Beard Ban

 Dear Yankee Powers That Be... 

(You know who you are...)

It's now 11 months since the House of Steinbrenner came to view the Yankee ban on facial hair - a rule dating back to the glorious Afro of Oscar Gamble and the Emmet Kelly chin of Thurman Munson - like an unsolicited backrub from Andrew Cuomo. It happened shortly after the Yankees acquired Devin Williams, the team's new closer, whose shaggy jowls were widely viewed as the reason for the change.

I donno if you changed your policies simply to appease one player - I cannot see into your Neville Chamberlain mind - but, damn, it sure looked that way.

Over the 2025 season, only a few Yankees - most notably Carlos Rodon and Jasson Dominguez, along with Williams - grew modest, sickly beards. I think this is because the Yankee Captain, Aaron Judge, remained clean shaven.  

Well, it's time to declare 2025 as a failed experiment in Yankee lore. 

Ditch the soup-strainers and the birds' nests, drop the floppy follicles and misery mullets, and let's make the Yankees, once again, different from all the rest. 

This is weird for me. I never thought I'd be saying this, having for many years viewed the beard ban as: 

a) stupid
b) a waste of time
c) an arguable attack on self-expression
d) a reason some players might refuse to join the Yankees. 

In the aftermath of Williams, I no longer hate the ban. 

In fact, if it makes the Yankees slightly different, so be it. 

Better to be different than irrelevant.

If a player doesn't want to play for the fucking New York Yankees because of his precious chin weave, he's not the guy we want. 

Restore the beard ban, Mr. Hal! You once claimed to keep it out of the memory of your dad, who sought a warrior ethos for the Yankees. You shouldn't have changed. 

I say, let's go back. If it means Kyle Tucker won't sign with the Yankees - he doesn't want to shave? - well, he's not the guy we want. 

An Above Average Haikuless Tuesday - Special Election Day Edition !

 no HAIKU today

just PONDERING the future

Twenty Twenty SUX ?

"The sharp pain may age to a dull ache, but it will never go away. You will go hours, then days, then weeks without thinking about how close you came—and then something will remind you, and it will hurt all over again. Who you were last week is not who you will be for the rest of your life. You are ruined; you are a ruined human being."

 Toronto is learning what it's like to be a modern Yankee fan.

Man overboard. Bellinger has jumped the Yankee ship.

Whosh. Did you feel that rush of cold, clammy, November air? 

That was Clay Bellinger's kid, Cody, officially bolting for the door. 

Yesterday, Bellinger ditched his $25 million one-year Yankee option, heading for the Corona Beer tent of free agency. He even deleted his Yankee profile on Instagram. He's like Rosamund Pike in that Ben Affleck movie - a Gone Girl Guy. Off to try the free market of capitalism, while the Yankees try to avoid charges of criminal malpractice. 

On behalf of the Yankiverse, I wish Bellinger luck, health and bricks of gold. I sorta hoped the Yankees could frontload a three-year deal - like Shohei Ohtani's magically deferred payments with the Dodgers - and make him the Yankee CF, at least until Spencer Jones proves relevant. 

That's a pipe dream, of course. I doubt Bellinger can cover - from April to October - the area code that is Yankee Stadium centerfield. Everybody likes Belli, but is there a path for him to anchor a championship Yankee team?

This winter, I believe the Yankees must do three things:

1. They must decide on their two biggest prospects - The Martian and Spencer Jones. Both might suck; that's baseball, Suzyn. Every year, some rising team wins the World Series by beating a tired Yankee roster of 30-somethings. Jasson Dominguez is 22. Jones is 24. Each needs a shot. And if the Yankees bring back Belli (and to a less likely chance, Trent Grisham), there will be no openings. Another tired old team, good enough for a wild card. 

2. They need pitching, pitching, pitching. They cannot depend on anybody. Every spring, they show up touting their rotational depth, and then watch several key arms go down. Right now, they have Max Fried, Will Warren, Cam Schlittler and Luis Gil. After that, Carlos Rodon is hurt; Gerrit Cole won't be back until June, Clarke Schmidt might not be back at all, and the farm is threadbare. The Yankees must sign a major starter, maybe two, maybe three. Last year, the Dodgers went through stretches with an Injury List all-star rotation. They just planned for October, and it worked.  

3. They need Gold Glove defense up the middle. The final teams this October fielded defensive burners in CF. The Yankees had Grisham - solid, but not great. There is a notion that Bellinger can play CF, or maybe Jazz Chisholm. I doubt either would last the season. The Yankees need someone who can fly. That would require Jones to prove his news clippings are true, and/or Dominguez to make great strides. (He's got the wheels; he needs to put in the work.) Same goes for SS, but we've wasted enough ink on that black hole. 

It's rare for a player's professionalism and character to impress the Yankees as much as Bellinger did last season - and then to watch him depart. Six years ago, they invested in DJ LeMahieu for just that reason. It backfired. Last winter, they watched the human loyalty-sinkhole, Juan Soto, follow the cash and never look back. 

The days of great players wanting to play for the Yankees are over. If anything, a ring-hungry veteran will want to go to the Dodgers, or maybe even Toronto. The Yankees are just another team that feels the whoosh, and wonders who just went out the door?