1. Music originally influenced by singing of Ronan Tynan.
2. Lost virginity to Mel Hall.
3. Sparks-emitting bras only sold in midnight blue.
4. Loves to watch players out there, skating on the ice.
5. Bought first-ever thong from man who looked like Yogi Berra.
6. Still angry over catching clap from Dustin Pedroia.
7. Stole John Sterling's winwarble for chorus of "Poker Face."*
8. Hey, if Arod was good enough for Madonna...
9. Those pills from Roger Clemens cured her clamidia.
*Which we would play for you, if not for MLB copyright brownshirts.
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