Thursday, June 24, 2010

2001: A Space Odyssey... 2010: The Year Arizona Doesn't Make Contact

First off, fuckum. Fuck the desert, fuck the Buck (Showalter), fuck Arizona.
If they think we will ever forgive and forget them using "New York, New York" as their 2001 World Series victory taunt, fuckum. I let the car idle all night, just to pump out hydrocarbons, knowing their pet dogs this August will step out onto the driveway and burst into flames, while it just means less shoveling next January in Syracuse. Wildfires burning out of control near Tucson? Oh, well, maybe they should think about what they do next time they win the World Series, in 2059. Fuckum. Turn up the A.C. Burn, babies, burn.

Secondly, Mariano Rivera -- greatest human being in history -- last night pulled off the impossible, Biblical, Son of God-like escape -- (albeit 9 years too late to avoid Arizona's hateful taunts.
Bases loaded, no outs, 10th inning.
One run lead.
He gets out of it.
We need some supergenius, like Kurt Russell in the Computer Wore Tennis Shoes movies, who can hack their stadium P.A. and blast, "New York, New York" at airplane decibels whenever Arizona loses.
For once, the sequel beat the opener.


Anonymous said...

Buck Foston says,

Baseball in an arizona wasteland?
"Might as well be walking on the moon"

Jeers said...

Nice rant.