Is Teix the new Giambino?

Saturday, the Yankees played with the force and intensity of Donald Rumsfeld's pee stream. They should expell Derek Jeter for ruining their crisp shutout. If he hadn't homered, forcing 14 horrible innings, they could have visited the CN Tower, eaten in the rotating restaurant, seen "Jersey Boys" and visited the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Which may be as close as our former-future-Hall-of-Famer Mark Teixiera gets. Five strikeouts. Oh for six. David Ortiz was supposed to be the post-steroidal behemoth who becomes the Incredible Shrinking Man. If this continues, we should start a nationwide petition to have Betty White play first for the Yankees. She can't do worse than 0-6 with 5 Ks.

The scariest part here is how Giambiesque Teixiera's Yankee career seems to be tracking. Both were all-fields hitters before coming to the Yankees. Both came because of childhood dreams. Giambi turned into a dead pull hitter, lost 80 points on his average, and withered on the vine. Tex seems to be doing the same. Tex in the City 2 is horrible. Time for a day off? Calling Betty White...