Saturday, November 17, 2012

BAD PUN TIME IS BAD FUN TIME! The Cortland County DA was once a porn star.

No lie. The Cortland (NY) District Attorney admitted yesterday that he was a porn star 25 years ago, while paying rent in NYC. He had been denying it. But an anonymous 15-minute YouTube attack video laid out the meat of his evidence for all to see.

OK, there is no Yankee connection to this, until someone finds the old movies starring Randy "King-Snake" Levine.

Frankly, this transcends baseball, politics and taste. It's not every day that a DA gets outed for being a porn star. The truth is this: We may never get this chance again. Ever. So... How many bad puns can we make?

1. His evidence always stands up in court. 

2. The jury isn't the only thing that is hung.

3. When he throws the book at someone, it's probably "Fifty Shades of Gray."

4. When he says, "Your honor," chances are, he's been on her.

5. Inside his briefs lurks the long arm of the law.

6. His motions are designed to bring about hard time.

7. He was in chambers... Marilyn Chambers.

8. He always shoots for a stiff penalty.

9. You don't want to be the butt of his wide-ranging probe.

10. He dispenses straight time.

12. He plans to run for judge... so he can bang the gavel!

1 comment:

Alphonso said...

Congressman Ryan may have acted in tea party porn before he became their national standard bearer.

So what?

Why do you think the Koch brothers give him so much money?