Monday, November 26, 2012

Ten reasons Swish could sign with Boston

OK, I know what you're thinking:  No, no, no! Not Nick. He'd NEVER do it. No way he'd do it. No possible way! But Boston is said to be in the bidding, and they'd love to poke us in the gilhoolie. Why would Swish do it?

 1. Attention. ('Nuff said.)

2. Money. (Ditto.)

3. Green Monster. (Extra 5 HR, 10 points batting average)

4. Revenge for being booed. (He apologized for whining, but he didn't mean it.)

5. Chance to grow beard. (Gains four minutes a day by not having to shave.)

6. Clubhouse harmony. (That's a joke. Get it?)

7. Forgiving fans. (I'm on a roll.)

8. No fear of failing in October. (Sensing a trend?)

9. Meet Ben Affleck. (Maybe he'll make a movie about Gramma.)

10. Jubilant homecomings in NYC. (Who needs Curt Schilling?)


SanJoseKid said...

You are absolutely right, El Duque. The Babe. Sparky Lyle. El Tiante. Boggs. Clemens. Of course, the well-beaten path led from the Fens to the Bronx. Sure, Alfredo Aceves reversed the polarity recently. And look how Bobby V made his life miserable (excellent ERA or not). Alfredo desperately wanted to be back with the Yanks last season. Who could forget Danny Cater's .237 batting average his first year with the Red Socks? (Bet Danny would like to forget it.) But, true, the Swishmeister's personality is certainly Fenwayesque (your photo captures it). He looks more John Damon-ish than Johnny Damon. But you WOULD have to be crazy to incite the folks that sit in the rightfield stands at Yankee Stadium by returning to your old position wearing that ugly Bosox road uniform. Between innings, buy pizzas for the fans, Swish? And borrow Zimmer's helmet.

Tom said...

agreed. Damon's experience might instruct Swish that his long-term prospects would be best served signing with anybody but Boston.