666? A-Rod is - well - STILL within two home runs of SATAN.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Posted by el duque at 6:19 AM
So what's with his continued desire to rappel off the top of the Empire State Building of Stamford, Connecticut? He's going to do it again. As best as I can see, it's not for charity - unless coaxing people to shop is now viewed as humanitarianism - so it must be fun. It must rev his engines in a way that - well - resembled cutting a deal.
Let's face it: After you look down for 20 stories, held by a thin tether, you should be able to deal your best hitting prospect to Seattle without hiccupping phlegm into the bean crock. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Your pitcher tears out his shoulder and turns into a driving version of Foster Brooks? No problem, Freddie Nietzsche. You already stared into the abyss.
I can't help but think it means Cash is telling us that he's ready to make another death-defying deal. As usual with Cash, advance speculation is meaningless. Nobody ever sees his deals coming. He works with Dick Cheney-level secrecy, and the Gammonites - if they do know - never give a peep of what's coming.
So with that in mind - this being pure speculation, based on the speculation that we speculate something is coming - here goes what I speculate. And tell me why I'm wrong.
We will not sign Russell Martin to a four-year deal. He's asking for four, because he'll come down to three. But if anybody gives him four, he'll take it. I can't see anybody giving a .210-hitting catcher four years, but whadda I know? He might get it. I don't think Cash will give it. I'm not sure he would even go to three.
Curtis Granderson becomes the trading chip that brings us a catcher. Have no idea who that catcher would be. He won't be a star, like Granderson is. He might not even be much of a name. There could be ancillary players involved. But Grandy is a player other teams might covet - he's poised for a bounce-back year - and we would likely lose him anyway in our "Quest for 187" next year.
We then sign Ichiro and scan the scrap heaps for a left-fielder. I just get the feeling that the fix is in on Ichiro, that at this stage of his career, it's New York or LA, and he'll take a one-year to stick with his buddy, Kuroda. For all the booing last October, the fans still cheered Ichiro. We got him to the post-season. There's no better bet in baseball than that the Yankees will make it to October.
Either this, or else Cash is planning to bite through his chord and plummet 20 stories to be cleaned up with a blotter. After all, the guy is at least 100 years old.