Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Tampa Bay Rays need a centerfielder, and we have just the guy

Today, the Atlanta Braves signed BJ Upton for $75 million, proving that you can have a long and successful career as a prospect.

It leaves a vacancy in the Tampa Bay outfield roughly the size of the hole in Taylor Swift's heart after Jake Gyllenhaal let her know he was dumping her by not attending her 21st birthday. (For shame!)

We have a CF who can do everything Upton did, including striking out 175 times a year. "The Tampa man... oh the Tampy man can."

Seriously. I would love to trade Granderson for equal value, if anybody can figure out what that is. But it won't happen with Tampa. They won't deal with the hated Yankees unless they could send us Michael Pineda. And we already have him.

But what is Cashman cooking? That is the question...

5 comments:

SanJoseKid said...

Grandy hustles. He doesn't make excuses. He hits HRs. He's good natured and articulate. He doesn't suffer from A.J. Burnett's mood disorder. He has respectable parents. Let's keep him. The suckers are the Braves, who have just signed one of the laziest, show-boating slugs in AL. Good riddance, BJ, though I will miss the bonehead plays, the mindless belligerence, and the camera shots of your manager wincing as two Yankees score on your careless error.

bennyboy said...

Grandy for Michael Saunders. Straight up.

Anonymous said...

All those years of stinking in the AL East then cashing in with draft picks has come and gone like the Seattle Mariners with Griffey and One of Madonna's many one night twirls!
Joe Madden ain't SI cool anymore on ESPN
The angel manager circle may all get canned in three years or less.

Oakland Bleacher Creature said...

You gotta be a Monteal Expos fan . . . .

John M said...

Keep in mind that the Braves started in--hold onto your hats--Boston, before moving to Milwaukee and then being lured to Atlanta. So in a very roundabout historical way, BJ will blow into Atlanta (BJ..blow...get it? Oh, never mind.) and his shadow echo or non-protoplasmic aura is connecting to Boston. Bwahahahahaha!

As for center, Grandy's defense is not great. He has pulled some boners out there worthy of BJ (boner...BJ...ah, forget it), but Grandy isn't a slouch--he was actually trying. Ouch.

And as nice and good a man as he seems to be, .325 with 20 HRs and under 100 strikeouts is way, way, way more productive and valuable than the numbers Curtis put up this past year. Rally killer, doesn't move runners, just awful. Screw the home runs, we don't need them.

We need someone really good out there, not just someone who doesn't suck (BJ...aw, alright).

The famously lightbulb-headed Brett Gardner can at least play defense and steal bases. And walk. And lead off. Not the greatest solution but these are tough times in budgetville.