6-6-6... A-Rod's next HR ties him with SATAN.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Should the Yankees settle for a payroll drop to just $189 million... or should we go lower?

In recent months, our fearless leaders have made their feelings crystal clear: The Yankees must cut expenses.

We cannot continue to spend, spend, spend. By this time next year, the Yankee organization must reduce payroll to at least $189 million. We cannot just go out and sign any more workers. We have to change. We face a fiscal Yankee cliff.

But why sell ourselves so short?

Haven't we always been a special group, with greater goals than others? If they win one game, we should win two! If they win one world series, we should win 27!

Why limit ourselves to $189 million. We say, let's cut more!

We're the Yankees, dammit. We should be able to cut down to $180 million... $170 million... or... ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

That's right. ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Let the Royals be incapable of slashing to the nub. We are the Yankees. We don't need fingers. I say, cut, cut, CUT.  We must look at every worker and ask, is he worth angering Bud Selig? If the answer is no, then... "So long, Mariano!" Let's not settle for $189 million. Let's lose everything. 

Who's willing to play for the MILLION DOLLAR YANKEES? I've got left field! Who can play shortstop? Alphonso? Mustang? FELLOW FANS, WE ARE BEING CALLED UPON TO SAVE THE FISCAL INTEGRITY OF THE GAME. WE MUST NOT SHIRK THIS OBLIGATION. EVERY PENNY STRENGTHENS OUR LEADERSHIP.

Dammit, those Hurricane Sandy victims get all the press. Everybody feels sorry for them. What about the Steinbrothers? Does anybody care?

1 comment:

SanJoseKid said...

I have always said that I would PAY the Yankees to PLAY for the Yankees. That will help balance the budget. May I have second base? I am as good-looking as Bobby Richardson and am more politically correct.