Cashman Has It All Worked Out

Firstly, let's sign Mariano.  He is the last link to greatness in our bullpen.  Yes, he will start the year at 43.  But he is an exceptional athlete and prayerer.  And if Nix has moved on, perhaps Mariano won't need surgery again so early in the season.

Luckily, a team that wins about 70 games will not need him to close games very often.  He won't be adding any wins to his post-season records.  But he is good to have around.  He provides memories.

Secondly, we'll make offers to everyone in the 35+ category.  We've got to delude ourselves into believing that Andy Pettitte will be the 28 year old Andy;  that Kuroda will step up again, at age 38 this time.  And Swisher will add to his .238 average with every at bat, even whilst his hair continues to erode.

Thirdly, as a gesture of thanks and good fortune, we let Soriano go to make a ton of money with Boston.  He was, let's see, responsible for preserving about 45 of our victories?  Letting him go is called, " planning for the future."  We have such expertise in developing young studs, that our closer  of the future is certainly at AA or AAA.  Right?

Nunny can stay as our young guy.  He will play more, as Derek's ankle barks from time to time.  He is our best prospect, hands down.  Although a "net zero" tools player whom no other team now demands in a trade, he can still run and hit singles.

Tex now plays as though he is the same age as Chavez.  That keeps a total lack of speed at the corners.

And our franchise, A-Rod, will be what age?  What age when his contract runs out ?  He was a thrill to watch all season, wasn't he?

My guess is that he will be out of the country during most of the off-season, sourcing the latest HGH HORMONE THAT MLB DOESN'T YET RECOGNIZE.  If he succeeds, I see 180K's, 11 HRs and a .220 average.  Otherwise, he will have 200+ K's, not break .200 and hammer 9 HRs.

 Cano gets my vote for the player of the month.  A 2012 gold glove winner at second base.  A guy who played the sweep by Detroit with no clothes on.  Cashman should re-negotiate his contract so we can have his post-season experience for another decade.

Under the watch of Brian Cashman, the vast wasteland of the Yankees is beginning.  This season, at least, is a farewell tour to Derek, Mo and Andy.  Crutches will be handed out on bobble-head dolls for each player.

But the 2013 Yankees are not to be competitive when it matters.  Like 2012, only worse.

Get ready.