Wednesday, November 14, 2012

There is one free agent who could save 2013 and stabilize our future, but it would take major stones to sign him

His name is Melky. I believe you know him? In July, he was Neil Armstrong.  Now, he's Lance Armstrong. We go back a ways with him. He’s close with our best player. We have an opening in right field. We could use a switch-hitter with pop. He needs to prove himself. We could use a guy who needs to prove himself. We need him and, frankly, he needs us.

But some of you are already shaking your heads. There’s an irrational anger about performance enhancing drugs. Frankly, I suspect 90 percent of the players in the last 10 years tried them, the way college kids do pot. In 10 or 20 years, people will look back and give the great ones credit: It was a league of juicers, and they were the best. They were trying to win. It’s not like they were throwing games.

I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying people shouldn't get so uptight about it. A few guys get caught. Most get away. Does anybody really think 370 pound football players are not taking steroids? Come on. Get real. And besides, we have an opening in right field.


He can play the corner. He can play in New York. He’s a switch-hitter. He might take a one-year deal, hoping to rehabilitate his name. Off the juice, he won’t hit .350. But he might hit .290. I’m not saying pay him $15 million. I’m saying we court him. I’m saying we make him an offer. I’m saying we tell him he'll always be a Yankee, we wished he never left, and we want to have him back. That and $6 million might get it done.

Listen: If what we're worried about is how badly the Yankees will be booed on the road, why are we Yankee fans?

If what we’re worried about is having to justify the presence of an unpopular player, why are we Yankee fans?

If what we’re worried about is that somebody will rail and call us cheaters, trying to buy pennants, why are we Yankee fans? 

Listen: We are Yankee fans because we want to win every frickin' game.

His name is Melky. LISTEN TO ME: IF WE SIGN HIM, WE WILL WIN THE 2013 WORLD SERIES. DO YOU HEAR ME? IF WE SIGN MELKY, WE WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES, AND HE WILL BE WHERE HE BELONGS.

Sign him, Cash. I beg of you. Get it done. Now.

4 comments:

John M said...

Really? Win the World Series? That's mighty bold.

Though you do have something here. What if we ONLY sign caught or admitted juicers? We have A-Rod, that's a great start. Who else is out there? There has to be a boatload of them.

The road crowds might not even boo. We'll be like a halfway house or something, a semi-charitable organization. They might even cheer and admire the mea culpas our players regularly express to reporters.

It's not like we're going to be very good, anyway. What the hell. Let's go for it.

We just may become the most beloved underdog team in baseball. Wow.

Anonymous said...

i miss Leche.

SanJoseKid said...

Actually, it makes a great deal of sense. The Yankees have done well with reclamation projects, and Cashman has a penchant for them. The Milkman Cometh . . . .

Herm beeftink said...

Play the heck out of the second Melky- Mesa!